Trading players in fantasy leagues (NBA)

I've been asked lately to make several trades in my fantasy leagues, and I've seen some crazy stuff go on in my years of fantasy league basketball. So, here are some quick rules about trading players in a fantasy league, for both novices and veterans.

* 2 for 1 swaps rarely work: Remember people, this isn't like a real game. You can have X number of players at a time (X usually being 10 to 12). That's it. It's a finite number. Meaning if you offer to trade me 2 players for 1, I have to drop another one of my players. Just because you're not getting him back doesn't mean I'm not going to lose him, and whatever stats he is bringing me. For example, a friend of mine offered me Sam Cassel and Drew Gooden for Chris Webber. That's not a bad trade; the stats match up decently well. But when I factor in dropping my worst player, it doesn't match up well at all. I would be foolish for me to make such a move. So remember: If you're going to offer 2 for 1, you had better take a look at the worst player on that person's team and make sure the trade is still doable after dropping that player.
* Don't make insulting trade offers: Especially if you know that a person knows what they're doing. Come on. Let's not waste each other's time. It can lead to bitterness and resentment that will hurt you in future realistic trade offers, the rest of the league making fun of you--either to your face or behind your back--as the "can you believe he had the gall to offer me this for that" emails start flying, and people questioning your own competence. Be at least a little honest and fair.
* Don't try to trade a player you JUST picked up off waivers: This is insulting. If I'd wanted him, I'd have picked him up. Maybe if he's the third or fourth player in a trade, MAYBE then it's acceptable. But in a 2 for 1 or--God forbid you do this--a straight up swap, PLEASE don't do that. If we'd wanted him, we'd have picked him up.
* Remember: a bad trade in the NBA doesn't mean it's a bad trade in fantasy league: Just because you KNOW that no GM would ever trade blank for blank and possibly blank doesn't mean that it's a bad fantasy league trade. Fantasy league is purely about stats folks. It doesn't take into account leadership, locker room attitude, defensive abilities, etc. Simply look at the stats.
* You have to give up something to get something: Don't get me wrong: if you find someone ignorant, take advantage of them. That's part of the game, and the Commish is there to make sure it's not too unfair. However, when dealing with people who know what they're doing, realize you have to offer them something of value. "Hey why don't you trade me this guy just because" doesn't work. For example, if you need to improve your rebounding, you're probably going to have to give up someone that gets you a lot of assists. If you're not willing to do that, don't bother to make a trade offer. A smart owner only makes a trade if he gains something. Something doesn't mean everything; he can lose something, too, but he must gain something--and usually something significant--in order to give up a coveted player. It's the way the world works. We don't have to make trades for attitude problems or player demands here, so if you're initiating a trade, realize you're probably not going to get equal dollar.
* Respond in a decent amount of time: I've been guilty of this. Decide if you want to trade or not in a couple of days. If you don't have time right now, reject it and tell the guy you'll look at it later when you have more time. But be fair; the other owner might have other deals in the works that are dependent on yours.

There you have it kids. I hope this helps; let me know if you have any other rules you think should be added here.

The Great State of Texas

This is an email I received today, and is one of the best emails I've ever seen. Hope you enjoy.

When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like, Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?"

They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be.. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is some little bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, "Wow..so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?" Do you know why? Because there's no place like Texas.

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Crockett and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.

Texas is "Juneteenth" and Texas Independence Day.

Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest.

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico.

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome.

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, Rick Husband, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, George Bush, Lyndon B.Johnson, and George W. Bush.

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq. And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter.

Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local High School Football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the Night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio. Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.

If it isn't in Texas, you probably don't need it.

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington, D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!!

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Movie Quotes

A final harrah as people start to file out of the Extravaganza. Of course, put your thoughts and quotes in the comments.

1) Hmmm...that sounds like a good deal, but I think I've got a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call? (Neo, The Matrix): Try using this in everyday life. You will be AMAZED at how many times a day you can use this. It pains me that Keanu Reeves had such a great line, but this is about as good as it gets.
2) How do you write women so well? I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability (Melvin Udal, As Good As It Gets): Pretty much speaks for itself. And I love you ladies, so I'm just going to move on.
3) Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride): I get chills just thinking of this line. The greatest line in one of the greatest movies ever.
4) Do, or do not. There is no try. (Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back): The perfect rebuttal to that whinny brat, Luke Skywalker. Another quote applicable a hundred times every day in life.
5) Are you suicidal? Only in the morning. (Linus/Rusty, Ocean's 11): I know I've felt this way many a day.

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five NBA Players this season

You know what? This has been such a great season, we're going to do TWO Top Five lists and do a Top Ten! How do you like them apples? We'll count this one down, too.

10) Ray Allen: In a season of unbelievable teams, Seattle has to be the most unbelievable. There is no fricking way they should be this good. Ray's having a terrific season: 23.9pts, 4.2rebs, 4.2asts, 1.55a/to (assist to turnover ratio), 42.6%fg, 36.9%3pt, 89.9%ft. The only reason he's not higher is that Seattle's success is more team oriented to me; Rashard Lewis, Luke Ridnoir, Danny Fortson, Vladmir Radmonivic, and Antonio Daniels all also deserve a lot of credit. Ray has been the leader though, and has been fantastic.
9) Larry Hughes: The Wizards are not only in fourth place, but they are half a game out of second place in the East. Read that sentence again. Not after you pick yourself off the floor or recover from your heart attack, take a look at Larry Hughes' stats line: 21.2pts, 6.1rbs, 5.3asts, a crazy good 2.30a/to, 43.5%fg, 32.4%3pt, 77.9%ft. Almost all of those are career highs. Not only that, have any of you seen him play? I'm not surprised he got hurt last week; he's been dunking on EVERYBODY. It's insane. This little skinny guy just takes off over everyone. Now, it's true he has help from Antawn Jamison and Gilbert Arenas (that's why he's 9th and not 8th), but he's the differencemaker on what is to me the second most surprising team in the league. Good for you, Larry.
8) Steve Francis: I always felt that Steve Francis got a bum rap in Houston, and that Jeff Van Gundy is an arrogant ass who set out to destroy his best player. Well, thanks for proving me right, Stevie Franchise. Who thought Orlando would be in fifth place? Well, I kind of did, but even to me it was a silly dream that I was half afraid to tell anyone about. If anybody in today's NBA could average a Triple Double, it's Steve or Lebron: 21.7pts, 6.3rbs, 7.0asts (the rest of his stats are great, too, trust me). The really impressive thing is that with the exception of Grant Hill and a little bit of help from Dwight Howard, Stevie has done this all by himself. Orlando doesn't have jack. Go Stevie Franchise go!
7) Timmy: Yeah yeah, another great seaons from Timmy (Tim Duncan for you few who don't know). To be honest, I didn't even bother to look up his stats.
6) Kevin Garnett: It kills me to not have KG in the top five. I feel so sorry for him this season. Minnesota was supposed to make the leap this season, and his WORTHLESS IDIOT TEAMMATES HAVE RUINED IT FOR HIM! Sprewell is being the selfish idiot ass he is, Sam Cassell once again is bitching about his contract and going through the motions, Olawakandi and Troy Hudson have been worthless...ASSHOLES!!!!! It's so sad to watch. It's like I said, KG is one of the few athletes who really cares, who really wants it, and he's getting shat upon by his "teammates". Do you realize that Wally has been his best, hardest working teammate this season? Wally? The pretty boy asshole who cares only about his shots? And he's been the only guy KG can kind of count on. It's pathetic.

Garnett has been awesome; I won't list his stats, they are as phenomenal as they usually are. Team success is a big part of this list though, and while team success has helped the people below KG, it's what's hurting him. And it's not fair.
5) Dirk Nowitzki: Did I think that Dirk would be a quarter of the player he was without Little Stevie, and struggle mightily? Yes. Did I think that Dirk was too soft to be a Number One guy? Yes. Well, in the words of the indominatable Gabe, "Well...shit." Yeah, I was wrong on both of those. Sorry Dirk! He's been great. 27.2pts, 10rebs, 2.8asts, 45.7%fg, an unbelievable 42.6%3pt, 86.5%ft, 1.4stls, 1.3blks. And finally he is being a leader; he's taken a younger Mavs team with almost nothing but new faces, and in spite of a rash of injuries and the Mav's Coach completely quitting on them (that will get its own column soon), he's led them to fifth in the ridiculously tough West. I wouldn't be surprised at all if the Mavs end up in third, as I think Seattle and Sacremento will both slip as the season goes on. Way to go, Dirk.
4) Amare Stoudemire: He's been the second most impressive player to watch (behind Lebron) in the NBA so far. A week ago I would have had him third, and some people would have him higher, but two things bother me about him: 1) his stats could be a little better; he's fine in points, fg%, ft%, and steals, but I would like to see his rebounds higher than 8.6, and his blocks higher than 1.6. 2) Since Steve Nash went down, he has not been nearly as effective, and the Suns have struggled mightily. If he's truly a The Man type of player, he needs to step up when someone important goes down, not struggle. Now don't get me wrong; he's been phenomenal, and he will be The Man some day. He's fourth best in the NBA this season. However, I think people have been getting a little too excited about him because his dunks have been so good, and the Suns have been so surprising (to some).
3) Little Stevie Nash: I quote: "I think signing Steve Nash is EXACTLY what they needed, though they did overpay him BIG TIME. Amare Stoudamire, Shawn Marion, Joe Johnson, and Quentin Richardson are all great players. They needed a good point guard to set things up, and get everyone the ball in the right places at the right time. Steve Nash is one of the last good points. His outside shooting will also be a big plus." He's taken a team from being the second worst in the NBA last season (if I remember correctly; maybe it was third worst), and single handedly turned them into the best team in the NBA so far. The sudden and surprising drop in the Suns only helps his case; the best team in the NBA is lost without him. Yes, he can't guard anybody in the NBA, but neither could John Stockton and that never seemed to bother anyone.
2) Dwayne Wade: Shaq's right: this is not his team. It's Wade's. Want an incredible season he's having. Forget Carmelo; Lebron and Dwayne will be leading the NBA into the future. 23.8pts, 5.2rbs, 7.6asts, 1.85a/to, awesome 49.6%fg (incredible for a guard), 1.6stls, and he's even averaging a block a game! He's fricking 6'4"! Most impressive though is the fact that the Heat are pretty much by far the best team in the East, and their third best player is either Damon Jones or Udonis Haslem. Now true, this is the East, but that still is just incredible. Wade is so much fun to watch, too; what a fantastic player.
1) Lebron James: Was there any doubt? I just have to write his stat line down: 24.7pts, 7.2rebs, 7.3asts, a fricking UNBELIEVABLE 2.21 a/to (he's a second year player! He's doing that in his second year! Usually guys are doing good not to dribble the ball of their feet at this point), 49.4%fg, 35.3%3pt (remember how he "couldn't shoot" coming out of high school?), and 2.4 steals. AND IT'S HIS SECOND YEAR. Do you realize the second best player on the Cavs is Zydrunas Ilgauskus? Jeff Mcinnis is probably their third best player? And their in second place in the East! He is fricking LIGHT YEARS ahead of Jordan at the same point in his career. He's light years ahead of Magic at the same point. He's truly a meddling of the best of Magic and Michael. I never thought I would say that in my life; certainly not this soon after Michael's retirement. We all know how much the media likes to overhype stars, and yet everytime I watch him play, I always come away thinking "Wow, he's underrated." This guy is simply out of this world. Don't make the mistake I made and not see Jordan in his prime; go out and pay whatever you can to watch Lebron James play.
Honorable Mention: Allen Iverson (done a great job transitioning to the point, and is actually being a leader for once in his life; unfortunately, his team still sucks); Shaq (nice season, but like I said, this is D Wade's team); Chris Webber (I hate to say that, because as you all know I can't stand the Kings or Webber, but he has played fantastic, and the Kings are way overachieving. I watched Webber and Brad Miller do WHATEVER they wanted to do against the Cavs last night; they are playing so well together it's incredible. Young big men watch those two play; it's great.)

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Sexiest Women

You knew this was going to make an appearance. There's only so long we can talk about condiments.

1) Halle Berry: Simply the most beautiful woman on the planet, and it even comes off naturally. Every part of her is perfect, and she might have the best smile in the world. They tried to make her ugly in Monster's Ball and they couldn't do it.
2) Selma Hayek: Incredibly beautiful while coming off incredibly cool at the same time. Not only that, but if she would go out with a guy like Eduard Norton, she might just go out with anyone :-)
3) Clara Morgane: Ummm...she's incredible. Just trust me. And ask Heidi: whatever you do, don't try to find pictures of her at work!
4) Jessica Alba: I kind of hesitate to put her in the top five, because when she had curly hair in that Dark Angel show she didn't look that great. However, it's been almost ten years, and she's been phenomenal all ten of those, so here you go Jessica, welcome to the elite.
5) Jamie Presley: Incredibly beautiful, and has an aura of evil around her that is very sexy. She's the kind of person that makes you check the bed, lock up your valuables, and never, ever let tie you up. But that's fun every once in a while.
Honorable Mention: Martina McBride (incredibly beautiful for her age, great singer, exact opposite of Jamie Presley in that she has an aura of good; depending on my mood I would swap her and Jamie out); Ashley Judd (Ashley stop having horrible hairdos so you can move back into the top five!); Marissa Tomei (so pretty, so cool); Heather Locklear; Carmen Electra; Jennie Finch; Mia Hamm.
Dishonorable Mention: Drew Barrymore (even after losing all that weight, she still looks like a cow); Julia Roberts (Is there anything attractive about this woman? NO. Don't get me started on her); Kiersten Dunst (she looks like an unattractive 12 year old girl, and yes, it does bother me a little that so many guys like her); Jennifer Garner (SHE HAS MAN FACE!!! MAN FACE!!! Why does no one see this? Her face is so scary I wouldn't get in a fight with her!); Brittany Murphy (There is nothing attractive about her at all. Not a thing. Any woman who reads this is hotter than she is, trust me. Well, that's true of all the women on this list).

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Condiments

Just when you think it couldn't get any hotter, just when you think the action couldn't get any more packed, we're right back at you, ready to take it up a notch...

1) Limes: For those of you who know me...was there any doubt on this one? Really? What can I say about nature's greatest gift, the lime? It enhances the flavor of both food AND drink. It's citrusy flavor not only helps prevent scurvy (British sailors used to carry large quantities of limes with them on voyages in order to combat this disease, thus earning Brits the nickname "Limeys") and helps booster the immune system--making it the healthiest of condiments, by far--but its acidic juice can also soften bones, making them easier to chew on if you accidentally swallow a piece of bone while eating fish (that's the reason lemons and limes were originally sprinkled on seafood, in the dawn of mankind). So as you can see, not only does it taste great and compliment a wide variety of food and drink, but it can save your life in more ways than one! God bless the wonderful lime!
2) Ketchup: Sometimes you just have to go with the obvious. Great tasting, mixes well with a wide variety of foods. There's a reason it's the most popular condiment in the world. And yes, Heinz is the best.
3) Lea & Perrins Steak & Worcestershire Sauces (tie): If you haven't tried either of these (I'm sure almost everyone has had the Worcestershire, but probably most haven't had the steak), you should. Simply the best beef condiments in the biz. No burger/steak/meatloaf/etc. is complete without them.
4) Ranch: While I personally am not a big fan of Ranch, I recognize its dominance. It's versatility is simply amazing. Let's see what Ranch is commonly used on: salads, deli sandwiches, buffalo wings, pizza, baked potatoes, mozzarella sticks, hamburgers, and catfish. And we're just scratching the surface! Simply an amazing condiment that crosses all sorts of culinary boundaries.
5) Buffalo Sauce: There are so many different varieties, it's hard to tell any more. But your basic hot Buffalo Sauce is simply fantastic. Great with any form of chicken, this simple sauce has inspired a wide variety of restaurants, and has become the quintessential sporting event food, even overtaking pizza.
Honorable Mention: Mustard (French's), BBQ, Romalade (Outback Steakhouse has the best), Marinara.

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Worst Movies, 2004

1) Van Helsing: Wow. Unbelievably bad. And you know what's so frustrating? You can see a little bit of a good story in there. They took some interesting angles on the Dracula bloodline, and I must admit I am curious about Van Helsing and his past. I feel like this was a really good script that was brought to some studio, and they went, "Oooh, we need action! And lots of graphics! And we need to be able to spin it into a couple of video games!" And by the time they were done adding on "stuff", we were left with one of the worst movies ever.
2) You Got Served: The only positive thing about this movie is the really funny South Park episode it inspired.
3) White Chicks: Wow. What an original idea for a movie. And it was then carried out by those comedic geniuses, the Wayanses. You know what movie I hate? More than anything? Major Payne. Not because it's a bad movie; it's okay, it's good, but not great. But that movie paved the way for the Wayans family to be able to make movies, and they have been TORTURING US EVER SINCE.
4) Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed: Wait, they made a second one? Like the first one wasn't bad enough? Like the original cartoon wasn't bad enough? You all know me: I love cartoons. And I HATE Scooby Doo! Go away!
5) The Village: There are movies in Dishonorable Mention that are actually worse, but when you factor in expectations, this had to make the list. M. Night lost it with this movie. It didn't even make sense. SPOILERS TO FOLLOW! We care so much about our children we will leave evil society, YET WE'LL SEND THE FRICKING BLIND GIRL ALONE INTO THE FOREST!! And the surprise ending? Shoot me in the head. Wow, that's a shocking climax: it's just a bunch of idiot hippies in the forest! Glad I sat through 2 hours for that.
Dishonorable Mention: Jersey Girl, Havana Nights: Dirty Dancing 2, Little Black Book (HAHAHAHAHA Barry), Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid (who actually said, "Hey, let's make another one of these!"), Secret Window (Ten minutes into the movie I thought, "Surely what's going on isn't as simple as what I think it is." Two hours later...yep, I should have left at ten minutes), Seed of Chucky, 13 Going on 30 (She has a man face!), any Lindsey Lohan movie, any Ben Stiller movie.

Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Best Movies, 2004

1) Saved!: Everything you hoped it would be. This movie was fricking hilarious, with great performances from everyone involved. The only negative was that sickening feeling in your stomach that you knew too many people like that (especially if you've spent any time in Oklahoma), which of course was partly what the movie was going for.
2) Kill Bill: Volume 2: Fantastic conclusion to the first movie. What I really liked about it was how it went in a totally different direction than the first movie, yet still didn't disappoint. The first movie was a purely classic samurai film; pretty much nothing but blood, swords, and revenge. The second movie went into depth with the characters and their backgrounds, while still staying interesting to the action fans. An incredibly good job by Quentin Tarantino.
3) The Incredibles: I must admit, I have not seen this movie yet. However, I've heard nothing but great--not good, great--things about it, and it has the box office receipts to back that assessment up.
4) The Girl Next Door: Don't laugh. This was a really good, really funny movie. It was well written, and well acted (I'm sure it isn't too hard to act like someone in "the biz", but whether it is or not it seemed like everyone nailed it). It's not just some sleazy almost porn movie; it's a really good flick.
5) The Passion of the Christ: I have not seen this movie yet either. Not much needs to be said here; we all know what this is.
Honorable Mention: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (I can't believe it either, but it was pretty good, and this year sucked), Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban (I didn't want to stab myself in the eye while watching this one), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Team America: World Police (It was hilarious, and more insightful than you would expect), Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (I can't even believed I watched this, but it was pretty damn funny, especially if you're drunk)

Game Review: X-Men Legends

I'll start calling them Game Review or Movie Review, depending.

Got an XBox and the above title for Christmas. X-Men Legends is what I like to think of as a Multi-player "Hack and Slash". This means that you and your friends control a character and walk around and beat up on bad guys. Sure, you can do combos, have special abilities, even solve an occasional puzzle, but basically it boils down to you and your buddy going around and beating the shit out of the bad guys.

I love those kind of games.

They're not really as popular as they used to be. Games these days tend to have moved on to other genres: your First Person Shooters (Halo, Doom), Real Time Strategy Games (Warcraft, Starcraft, Age of Empires--I love these games too, I'll kick your ass in Starcraft, and you probably shouldn't mess with me in Warcraft either), Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs--Ultima Online, Everquest, City of Heroes, World of Warcraft), Sports games, boring one player games, etc. The Hack and Slash genre hit its peak in the Genesis/Super Nintendo era and was on the decline by the Nintendo 64/Playstation 1 era. However, every once in a while a good hack and slash comes out (Check out the Baldur's Gate games on Xbox or PS2--they are fricking awesome), and I fricking love it when that happens.

So as for the game itself, it's pretty damn good.

Strengths: Very good game play. The levels are filled with good amounts of bad guys, and your team is smart enough to actually help you and not be a hindrance (when the AI is controlling your team). You can use some decent combos buy yourself, and can combine your special abilities with other members of your team to unleash some devastating attacks.

The character development is AWESOME. May be the best part of the game. You level and add strengths and abilities as you go along, and the abilities are all fun, fit the theme of the character, and easy to use in gameplay. Another nice touch is that you don't just level the character you play with, or just the four members of your team; everyone levels with you. Whoever you are playing with usually stays a level or two higher, but you aren't penalized for rarely using Beast, even though every once in a while you'll need him. Great touch there.

The Danger Room adds a unique and exciting element to the game. There are a TON of hours of game play, and if you ever need a break from playing the game, you can hop into the Danger Room and play a variety of different game types, from fighting your friends one on one, to playing "Challengers Versus Champions" where you can be any player in the game (both human or computer) and try to beat any number of characters in the game. Great addition there.

After beating the game, you unlock the classic outfits for the XMen, which is a great touch.

Weaknesses: As usual with a hack and slash, sometimes the enemies can get mundane; a greater variety of bad guys would have been nice. It wasn't bad. however. Also, when playing multi-player, there are times when you slip into a "one player" section, and are forced to play by yourself for a while. While this is a unique twist to a video game, it wasn't what I would call a good one. It didn't happen too often though, so it wasn't terrible. My biggest disappointment was the last level and last two bosses. They were WAY too easy. Now true, Sam and I had leveled too crazy high levels at this point, but the game should have been expecting that. Also, there is not difficulty setting, so it's not like you can just up the level you're playing at.

Characters: The characters were awesome. Almost all of them were EXTREMELY fun to play with and were effective. Hell, even Jubilee was a fun and useful character, and she's the most useless X-Man ever. Wolverine was probably the best all around character; there was really nothing he couldn't handle. Cyclop's optic blasts just butchered the Sentinals, of course. Psyloche's psyonic blade could kill damn near anyone in one stroke. Nightcrawler was a GREAT character; his Teleportation Fury was BRUTAL. He teleports around his enemy, stopping just for a second to beat the crap out of him. That move can pretty much kill any enemy and leaves them no chance of touching Nightcrawler. Also, he has a move called Leap of Faith which is GREAT. As long as no one is controlling him, he can save a teammate from death. It's as simple as that. He was an awesome member of the team to have. Finally, Storm was incredibly powerful. Her Chain Lightning could kill EVERYBODY. It almost wasn't fair.

The most disappointing characters were Beast and Rogue. Neither had any special abilities that were exciting--Beast was damn near worthless in that department--and just weren't that affective overall. Rogue at least was a good Melee fighter, but they could have made her steal life ability a lot better than it was. However, that's two out of, what, ten, twelve? Trust me: it was hard to work everyone in you wanted to play with.

Overall: I'd give the game an 8.0 out of 10. XMen games rarely disappoint, and this follows the rule. I would have gone higher, maybe even a full 9.0, if the last level had been a bigger challenge. But this is a classic game that has some nice new twists with a lot of hours of game time on it. It is well worth the price, and I highly recommend you go out and get it.

Besides...you must prepare...The Age of Apocalypse is coming. :-)

Happy Birthday Barry!

I've always said, "The God Lord has blessed me with many friends." This is very true, and I'm very thankful for it. Well, today is one of my best friends birthdays. Barry, aka The Ray, was born on this day ummm...21 years ago! (No, we don't call him Old Man Fuxa ;-).

I met Barry my freshman year of college, and we've been friends ever since. He is a wonderful person, and has been there for me time after time when I've needed him. He's also the best James Bond player I've ever seen (it's not even close), and an outstanding artist. If you ever want to see an example of his work, I have a painting of his in my bedroom. He's also happily married to an incredibly beautiful, exceptionally cool woman named Robin. Nothing makes me happier than spending time with the two of them; they truly inspire me.

So anyway, Barry I'm very glad you were born, because you are an unbelievable friend, and I don't even want to think about where I would be if it weren't for you. Have a great birthday, I hope you got lots of presents, and have an action packed weekend!

The Worst Restaurants

As promised...

* Eskimo Joe's (Stillwater, OK): The worst restaurant in the world. It's food SUCKS. How do you screw up a hamburger? I mean seriously, so that you don't even want to finish it? It's not that hard to make a decent burger. It's hard to make a good one, but a decent one, no. Yet somehow they even screw that up. There is not one thing to eat at that shithole! And don't talk to me about their cheese fries. They aren't any good either! JOE'S SUCKS!

* Hooters: Finishing a close second to Joe's. The wings are edible, but not any good. Like Joes, they have somehow found a way to screw up the simplest of God's foods, the hamburger. Going thing no one goes there for the food.

* Chipotle: This place is terrible. They use the cheapest, crappiest ingredients they can find (We shouldn't be surprised: it is owned by McDonald's), and the charge you out the ass for the crap they give you. The worst Chips & Salsa I've probably ever have, even with the low expectations that come from a fast food restaurant.

* Chuy's (Dallas and Austin, TX): Probably the worst Mexican food I've ever had. I won't eat off of the free buffet they have at Happy Hour. I don't know where they get their meat from, but I question whether it is really meet or not.

* Applebee's: They brag about their Riblets. Those nasty things, and that's what they advertise in their commercials. That's when you know you've given up, when that is the best you can come up with.

Either tomorrow or this afternoon I'll do most Overrated. I'll add more here later today; I feel like I'm forgetting some...

My Non-Dallas Favorite Restaurants

Why yes Bo, I have been known to leave the beautiful city of Dallas on occasion. I've even left the great state of Texas once or twice. So as you requested, here are my favorite non-Dallas restaurants.

* The Hideaway (Stillwater, OK): Some of the best pizza in the world. Also famous for their fried mushrooms, though why people like to eat fungus is beyond me.

* The County Line (Austin or El Paso, TX; Oklahoma City, OK): Outstanding Barbeque. It's amazingly good. You can also get Cadillac Style, which is when they bring you all you can eat of basically every type of barbeque and fixin (you know, potato salad, cole slaw, beans, etc.) your little heart could desire. Great great place.

* Magaritas (Liberty Hill, TX): My favorite Mexican restaurant. Food is outstanding, and their salsa is so good I actually bring it back to Dallas with me whenever I go to Georgetown.

* Elmo's Diner (Corpus Christi, TX): Fantastic little diner right off of Ocean Blvd (yes, Ocean Blvd runs along the Ocean). Milkshakes are incredible.

* Freddie's Steakhouse (Drumright, OK): Probably the best steakhouse I've ever been to. And even if you don't like cabbage, try the cabbage rolls. The stuff on the inside is AWESOME.

* Ron's Hamburgers and Chili (Owasso, OK): Now, there are Ron's all over the place. Most of them suck. The one in Owasso, however, is fantastic. Terrific chili, great fries, awesome burgers. Try it if you ever get lost and end up there.

* Godfather's Pizza (Ardmore, OK; Houston, TX; Wichita, KS): Without question the best pizza chain, and quite possibly the best pizza in the world. When I was a babe, they had Godfather's in Dallas. Unfortunately, it went under when I was still very young. Just talking about it makes me want to go visit Jennifer and Miguel Jose up in Wichita. Umm...to see them, of course. ;-)

* The Hush Puppy (Texarkana, AR): Unfortunately, this place is no longer with us, because it is in the middle of fricking nowhere. It was some of the best catfish I've ever had in my life, though.

* TLC (Texarkana, AR): At least I think it's on the AR side. Is it the best chili burger I've ever had? It's them or Ron's...I'll just have to keep trying both and get back to you on that :-D

Check back tomorrow kids and I'll do my WORST restaurants (anywhere).

My Favorite Restaurants

I wanted to expound a bit on this week's top five list...so here we go (in no particular order):

* Mainstream Fish House (http://www.guidelive.com/profile/102042/): Best seafood in Dallas, bar none. The specialty here are the bread pots; they make a bowl by hollowing out a lump of bread and fill it with either an exotic gumbo with crawfish and shrimp (Bonnie's Bayou), a tasty clam chowder with shrimp (New England), or spicy cajun buttered shrimp. It's to die for. If you go there, tell Pancho (the manager) I said hi.
* Fogo De Chao (http://www.fogodechao.com/flash_index.php): Brazilian meat buffet. The waiters bring around 15 different kinds of meats perfectly prepared: Filet minion, top and bottom sirloins, pork sausages, bacon wrapped chicken and filet, garlic beef, ribs, etc. The House Special is amazing. And it's all you can fricking eat--basically, this is my idea of heaven. If you don't like that much meat, they have the world's best salad bar with much more than salad: exotic cheeses, exquisite smoked salmon, and the best bacon in the world await you there, for half the cost of the regular dinner. It is expensive, but worth every frickin penny. It also has one of the best desserts (Chocolate Mouse Cake) in Dallas.
* Tong's House (http://www.guidelive.com/profile/100660): Best Chinese food I've ever had. It's simply outstanding. The Dan Dan Noodles, Pan Fried Dumplings, Combination Fried Rice, and Orange Chicken or Beef are incredible.
* Maggiano's Little Italy (http://www.maggianos.com/Default.asp?bhcp=1): The best Bruschetta and possibly the best chicken parmesan in the world. Surprisingly (for an Italian restaurant), I think the salmon is outstanding, too. The Family Style meals are an INCREDIBLE bargain; even if you're not in a large group, if you're in the mood to eat a lot and take a lot home for a great price, go here. Everything is good, and the atmosphere is great.
* BD's Mongolian Barbeque (http://www.bdsmongolianbarbeque.com/): Great food, excellent variety of meats and seafood and choices of spices and sauces. For those of you who haven't done Mongolian BBQ, you choose your own raw meats, veggies, spices, and then sauces, and then watch it cooked in front of you on a huge grill. It's a lot of fun to watch them cook it, and to experiment with new food choices.
* J G's Hamburgers (http://www.guidelive.com/profile/102778/): Voted second best burgers in Dallas by D Magazine. Close, but D was wrong. They are the best. While I've never had them, I've heard from reliable sources that the milkshakes are outstanding, as well.
* Alfredo Trattoria (http://www.guidelive.com/profile/101468/): Small Italian place off of Mockingbird and Lemmon, but is probably the best Italian food in Dallas. The Cioppino--a smoky seafood soup--is sinfully good, and you MUST save room for White Chocolate Mouse and Strawberries for dessert.
* Dinger's Catfish Café (http://www.guidelive.com/profile/102432/): Best catfish in Dallas, and they'll prepare it damn near any way you want it.
* Freebird's World Burrito (http://www.freebirds.com/loc_ot_dallas.asp): Think Chipotle, but use quality ingredients and make it...oh, what's that word? Oh wait...GOOD.
* Chick Fil A: So good I don't consider it fast food. I will love the Chick Fil A Chicken Sandwich until the day I die.

There you go kids. Let me know what you think, and let me know if I left out any restaurants. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and I hope this is the best year of your life!