Coupla Things...
Wasting no time:
* I'd like to call out all of the companies who are trying to squeeze out Netflix. All of these backdoor deals being made to where you can sell new movies directly (from your cable providers or gaming consoles), rent them at Blockbuster, or buy them at any store...but yet somehow they're not available to rent from Netflix? That's bullshit, and collusion. Shame on all of you.
* It's got to be at least a little demeaning to be a male performer in a rock band with a female lead singer, right?
* Growing up in the great state of Texas, every person is subtly forced to choose sides in the UT-ATM feud. Even if you don't attend either school--even if you don't really care about either of them--you inevitably find yourself leaning one way or another to one of the two. Well, I always leaned towards Texas for a variety of reasons, one of the biggest being what I felt was ATM's somewhat ridiculous obsession with beating Texas in football. It really is true that most ATM fans would rather go 1-10 and beat Texas than 10-1 and lose to them. I always felt that was pathetic.
As such, I would like to apologize to ATM fans, because I am now totally on board with that logic as it applies to OSU-OU.
OSU has had an amazingly good season, especially considering this was supposed to be a rebuilding year. We're 10-2, playing in a somewhat respectable bowl game, and ranked an impressive 14th in the BCS. And none of it matters to me because we lost to those OU sons of bitches!!!
So I'm sorry, ATM fans. I now know how you feel.
* Very late chiming in on this, but one of the billboards I drive by (and let me tell you, I could write an entire post on the billboards I drive by on my way to work. You've got to love I-30) on my way to work jogged this in my mind. I would like to commend the female journalists like ESPN's Jemele Hill who put a stop to the Ines Sainz controversy by pointing out that the Jets hadn't harassed a female reporter because Sainz is more akin to a Playmate than a reporter. Good for them for not doing what the media loves to do these days: jump on any perceived action--no matter how flimsily it applies to your cause--and make a mountain out of that molehill in order to get ratings and advance your own cause, even if it has nothing to do with what really happened.
And how does it apply to the billboard? Azteca (the station Sainz "reports" for) has a, shall we say, very well-endowed chick in a skin tight white t-shirt with a soccer ball...well, what do you think a true reporter might be doing with a soccer ball? Doing the "how many time can you kick it with one foot" bit? Kneeing it into the air? Heading it into the air? All of which are common, exciting, and meaningful activities in the game of soccer.
No, this chick is holding her arms behind her head in a pantomime of throwing the ball in, allowing us to notice her skintight shirt and well-endowedness...an age-old word I just made up. Yes. Truly, this station is committed only to the highest levels of journalistic integrity!
The lesson, as always: if you want to be treated like a professional, then act like a professional. As usual, it's about personal responsibility.
* As someone who has had a bacon flavored bourbon, please take my word and avoid this like the plague. You're welcome.
* For all of you people who are incensed over the new airport scanners that let's a TSA employee see you semi-nude: I want you to go home, talk your clothes off, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and then go find that TSA employee and apologize to him for having to look at you in that state, and thank that person for being willing to suffer through your ugly ass in order to keep you safe.
Let's get a life here people. If the worse that new security brings us is some situations where we get to make the "not so far on the first date!' jokes in order to keep us secure, I think we'll all live.
* I have a question I can't believe no one has asked about the Dallas Cowboys (can you believe I'm talking about football twice? I promise, it really is me): does anyone else wonder if Jason Garrett was tanking to get Wade fired? Literally, one week, with Tony Romo, we have the worst offense in football. Like two weeks later, with Jon fricking Kitna, we're suddenly scoring 35+ points a game? With the same offensive coordinator? This just seems like the Aaron Eckhart character in Any Given Sunday to me. I'm not saying it's for sure, but I can't believe no one has at least brought it up.
* As is far too often the case, I feel like Mugatu in Zoolander ("Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!") when it comes to Sarah Palin. As I've mentioned before, there are a variety of reasons why Palin isn't a valid Presidential candidate. However, when she couldn't even bother to finish one term as Governor of Alaska, she moved from "it's too bad she didn't have more success" to "are you fricking crazy? Who do you think you are, lady?". As she's stumbled around the country like a drunk baby the last coupla years, she's dropped further and further down the respect scale for me, and only further proved that she is absolutely not qualified to be in the White House in any way, shape, or form. In spite of all this, because of Fox New's obsession with her, and her being the first major figure (I hate even writing that) to publicly embrace the Tea Party (a move some would call "shrewd", which I would call "a last desperation heave from 3/4 court that just happened to go in"), she's mentioned as one of the leading Republican Candidates. There is one word to describe this: insane!
I was thrilled when Ed Rollins finally called out the Emporer for being butt-ass naked when he correctly pointed out that as many times as Palin might say it, she is not Ronald Reagan. The Republicans do have a golden opportunity to upset a sitting President, but allow me to be the first to predict that there is no way in HELL that Palin will beat Obama. It's ludicrous!!!!!
There's one silver lining to this cloud: in 2012, Kyle Holmes will be over 35 years old. So if it's Palin-Obama in 2012, I assure you everyone, I will be writing in Kyle Holmes! And I encourage you all to do so, too!
* Finally, a high note: I've added a new web site to the list on the right, and it is one of my favorites of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to Cracked.com.
This site has some of the best lists I've ever seen: the most badass Bible verses ever, insane true facts about Starcraft, and several awesome lists about Zombie apocalypses, to name a few. But that's not all! It also has awesome videos (on why the Back To The Future series is awful AND horribly creepy, and why bad powerpoint presentations still take time), and hilarious looks into what would happen if Street Fighter 2 characters drank on the job.
The site is insane and fantastic. I can't recommend it enough. Check it out, and thank me later!
* I'd like to call out all of the companies who are trying to squeeze out Netflix. All of these backdoor deals being made to where you can sell new movies directly (from your cable providers or gaming consoles), rent them at Blockbuster, or buy them at any store...but yet somehow they're not available to rent from Netflix? That's bullshit, and collusion. Shame on all of you.
* It's got to be at least a little demeaning to be a male performer in a rock band with a female lead singer, right?
* Growing up in the great state of Texas, every person is subtly forced to choose sides in the UT-ATM feud. Even if you don't attend either school--even if you don't really care about either of them--you inevitably find yourself leaning one way or another to one of the two. Well, I always leaned towards Texas for a variety of reasons, one of the biggest being what I felt was ATM's somewhat ridiculous obsession with beating Texas in football. It really is true that most ATM fans would rather go 1-10 and beat Texas than 10-1 and lose to them. I always felt that was pathetic.
As such, I would like to apologize to ATM fans, because I am now totally on board with that logic as it applies to OSU-OU.
OSU has had an amazingly good season, especially considering this was supposed to be a rebuilding year. We're 10-2, playing in a somewhat respectable bowl game, and ranked an impressive 14th in the BCS. And none of it matters to me because we lost to those OU sons of bitches!!!
So I'm sorry, ATM fans. I now know how you feel.
* Very late chiming in on this, but one of the billboards I drive by (and let me tell you, I could write an entire post on the billboards I drive by on my way to work. You've got to love I-30) on my way to work jogged this in my mind. I would like to commend the female journalists like ESPN's Jemele Hill who put a stop to the Ines Sainz controversy by pointing out that the Jets hadn't harassed a female reporter because Sainz is more akin to a Playmate than a reporter. Good for them for not doing what the media loves to do these days: jump on any perceived action--no matter how flimsily it applies to your cause--and make a mountain out of that molehill in order to get ratings and advance your own cause, even if it has nothing to do with what really happened.
And how does it apply to the billboard? Azteca (the station Sainz "reports" for) has a, shall we say, very well-endowed chick in a skin tight white t-shirt with a soccer ball...well, what do you think a true reporter might be doing with a soccer ball? Doing the "how many time can you kick it with one foot" bit? Kneeing it into the air? Heading it into the air? All of which are common, exciting, and meaningful activities in the game of soccer.
No, this chick is holding her arms behind her head in a pantomime of throwing the ball in, allowing us to notice her skintight shirt and well-endowedness...an age-old word I just made up. Yes. Truly, this station is committed only to the highest levels of journalistic integrity!
The lesson, as always: if you want to be treated like a professional, then act like a professional. As usual, it's about personal responsibility.
* As someone who has had a bacon flavored bourbon, please take my word and avoid this like the plague. You're welcome.
* For all of you people who are incensed over the new airport scanners that let's a TSA employee see you semi-nude: I want you to go home, talk your clothes off, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and then go find that TSA employee and apologize to him for having to look at you in that state, and thank that person for being willing to suffer through your ugly ass in order to keep you safe.
Let's get a life here people. If the worse that new security brings us is some situations where we get to make the "not so far on the first date!' jokes in order to keep us secure, I think we'll all live.
* I have a question I can't believe no one has asked about the Dallas Cowboys (can you believe I'm talking about football twice? I promise, it really is me): does anyone else wonder if Jason Garrett was tanking to get Wade fired? Literally, one week, with Tony Romo, we have the worst offense in football. Like two weeks later, with Jon fricking Kitna, we're suddenly scoring 35+ points a game? With the same offensive coordinator? This just seems like the Aaron Eckhart character in Any Given Sunday to me. I'm not saying it's for sure, but I can't believe no one has at least brought it up.
* As is far too often the case, I feel like Mugatu in Zoolander ("Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!") when it comes to Sarah Palin. As I've mentioned before, there are a variety of reasons why Palin isn't a valid Presidential candidate. However, when she couldn't even bother to finish one term as Governor of Alaska, she moved from "it's too bad she didn't have more success" to "are you fricking crazy? Who do you think you are, lady?". As she's stumbled around the country like a drunk baby the last coupla years, she's dropped further and further down the respect scale for me, and only further proved that she is absolutely not qualified to be in the White House in any way, shape, or form. In spite of all this, because of Fox New's obsession with her, and her being the first major figure (I hate even writing that) to publicly embrace the Tea Party (a move some would call "shrewd", which I would call "a last desperation heave from 3/4 court that just happened to go in"), she's mentioned as one of the leading Republican Candidates. There is one word to describe this: insane!
I was thrilled when Ed Rollins finally called out the Emporer for being butt-ass naked when he correctly pointed out that as many times as Palin might say it, she is not Ronald Reagan. The Republicans do have a golden opportunity to upset a sitting President, but allow me to be the first to predict that there is no way in HELL that Palin will beat Obama. It's ludicrous!!!!!
There's one silver lining to this cloud: in 2012, Kyle Holmes will be over 35 years old. So if it's Palin-Obama in 2012, I assure you everyone, I will be writing in Kyle Holmes! And I encourage you all to do so, too!
* Finally, a high note: I've added a new web site to the list on the right, and it is one of my favorites of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to Cracked.com.
This site has some of the best lists I've ever seen: the most badass Bible verses ever, insane true facts about Starcraft, and several awesome lists about Zombie apocalypses, to name a few. But that's not all! It also has awesome videos (on why the Back To The Future series is awful AND horribly creepy, and why bad powerpoint presentations still take time), and hilarious looks into what would happen if Street Fighter 2 characters drank on the job.
The site is insane and fantastic. I can't recommend it enough. Check it out, and thank me later!
Labels: Airports, Azteca, Cracked.com, Dallas Cowboys, OSU, Sarah Palin
posted by Michael Pondrom at 3:00 AM
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