Top Five Extravaganza: Top Five Sexiest Women
You knew this was going to make an appearance. There's only so long we can talk about condiments.
1) Halle Berry: Simply the most beautiful woman on the planet, and it even comes off naturally. Every part of her is perfect, and she might have the best smile in the world. They tried to make her ugly in Monster's Ball and they couldn't do it.
2) Selma Hayek: Incredibly beautiful while coming off incredibly cool at the same time. Not only that, but if she would go out with a guy like Eduard Norton, she might just go out with anyone :-)
3) Clara Morgane: Ummm...she's incredible. Just trust me. And ask Heidi: whatever you do, don't try to find pictures of her at work!
4) Jessica Alba: I kind of hesitate to put her in the top five, because when she had curly hair in that Dark Angel show she didn't look that great. However, it's been almost ten years, and she's been phenomenal all ten of those, so here you go Jessica, welcome to the elite.
5) Jamie Presley: Incredibly beautiful, and has an aura of evil around her that is very sexy. She's the kind of person that makes you check the bed, lock up your valuables, and never, ever let tie you up. But that's fun every once in a while.
Honorable Mention: Martina McBride (incredibly beautiful for her age, great singer, exact opposite of Jamie Presley in that she has an aura of good; depending on my mood I would swap her and Jamie out); Ashley Judd (Ashley stop having horrible hairdos so you can move back into the top five!); Marissa Tomei (so pretty, so cool); Heather Locklear; Carmen Electra; Jennie Finch; Mia Hamm.
Dishonorable Mention: Drew Barrymore (even after losing all that weight, she still looks like a cow); Julia Roberts (Is there anything attractive about this woman? NO. Don't get me started on her); Kiersten Dunst (she looks like an unattractive 12 year old girl, and yes, it does bother me a little that so many guys like her); Jennifer Garner (SHE HAS MAN FACE!!! MAN FACE!!! Why does no one see this? Her face is so scary I wouldn't get in a fight with her!); Brittany Murphy (There is nothing attractive about her at all. Not a thing. Any woman who reads this is hotter than she is, trust me. Well, that's true of all the women on this list).
1) Halle Berry: Simply the most beautiful woman on the planet, and it even comes off naturally. Every part of her is perfect, and she might have the best smile in the world. They tried to make her ugly in Monster's Ball and they couldn't do it.
2) Selma Hayek: Incredibly beautiful while coming off incredibly cool at the same time. Not only that, but if she would go out with a guy like Eduard Norton, she might just go out with anyone :-)
3) Clara Morgane: Ummm...she's incredible. Just trust me. And ask Heidi: whatever you do, don't try to find pictures of her at work!
4) Jessica Alba: I kind of hesitate to put her in the top five, because when she had curly hair in that Dark Angel show she didn't look that great. However, it's been almost ten years, and she's been phenomenal all ten of those, so here you go Jessica, welcome to the elite.
5) Jamie Presley: Incredibly beautiful, and has an aura of evil around her that is very sexy. She's the kind of person that makes you check the bed, lock up your valuables, and never, ever let tie you up. But that's fun every once in a while.
Honorable Mention: Martina McBride (incredibly beautiful for her age, great singer, exact opposite of Jamie Presley in that she has an aura of good; depending on my mood I would swap her and Jamie out); Ashley Judd (Ashley stop having horrible hairdos so you can move back into the top five!); Marissa Tomei (so pretty, so cool); Heather Locklear; Carmen Electra; Jennie Finch; Mia Hamm.
Dishonorable Mention: Drew Barrymore (even after losing all that weight, she still looks like a cow); Julia Roberts (Is there anything attractive about this woman? NO. Don't get me started on her); Kiersten Dunst (she looks like an unattractive 12 year old girl, and yes, it does bother me a little that so many guys like her); Jennifer Garner (SHE HAS MAN FACE!!! MAN FACE!!! Why does no one see this? Her face is so scary I wouldn't get in a fight with her!); Brittany Murphy (There is nothing attractive about her at all. Not a thing. Any woman who reads this is hotter than she is, trust me. Well, that's true of all the women on this list).
posted by Michael Pondrom at 1:38 PM
6 Comments:
First of all...
Jamie Presley? She is one skanky looking bitch. And didn't she date Kid Rock at some point. I understand if you like that kind of thing, but I know that you don't like Angelina Jolie and she's at least cleaned it up some.
Ashley Judd should have never been on the list.
What about that new tennis chick?
I'm with you on Julia Roberts and Kirsten Dunst.
And I suggest you don't get in a fight with Jennifer Garner. She'd come pretty close to kicking your ass.
By the way, the last post was from me. Nirupa. A Leo who like long walks on the beach and just hanging out with friends.
The funniest thing about the Spiderman movies was how Dunst completely dwarfs Maguire. I remember having this same conversation in college and the arguments that you and Barry had. I really can't wait for Barry's post.
I'm gonna go you one further Mike and say that Jennifer Garner has a face like Skeletor. Big cheek bones, sunken in eye sockets, no meat at all. And let me add someone to your dishonorable mention list... Angelina Jolie. Just because she has big lips DOESN'T make her attractive. She's ugly. She's an ugly girl with big lips. You could put big lips on a cow and it still looks like a cow.
Tone-Loc
Nirupa...you're such a dork.
LOL Bo you're right, I can't wait to hear from The Ray either.
Tone...GREAT point about Jennifer Gardner. I wouldn't put Angelina on the ugly list, but she would be top five on the overrated. You're right; big lips don't make you hot.
Perhaps a bit of semantics, but I'd say Halle Berry is a very attractive woman, but using the word "beautiful" for me would include personality, and unfortunately, every time I've ever seen her talk it's tantamount to a trainwreck. This is why you don't see her doing as many shows and interviews as other big time stars. No doubt though, she is attractive and sexy.
I used to really like Salma Hayek until one day my brain told me she had a man face. Same goes for Jennie Fench... just can't do it. Game over.
I don't think many people think of Drew Barrymore as "sexy", but she's got to get points for being cute.
I hate country music, but Faith Hill is still ridiculously gorgeous. I'd have to vote her as my #1 sexiest right now. F you, Tim McGraw. F you.
Nick
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