I'm Alive

And very well, thanks for asking. I'm on vacation in Europe.

Paris is okay.

Munich is unbelievably fucking awesome.

Of course, a blow by blow as soon as I get back, on Thursday. I miss you guys, have fun, be good!

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

Next week, after everyone has had a chance to go see the movie, I'll go into detail about what I thought and what happened. Until then, I'll just give some non-spoiler thoughts:

* I liked the way Mace Windu died.
* The Jedi battles were all outstanding.
* The path to Anakin's downfall made sense, especially with him.

The movie was good. I'd give it a B overall. It was definitely the best of the new three, and it might have been better than Return of the Jedi. I was satisfied with the conclusion.

May The Force be with you.

Star Wars Questions & Answers

A couple of my friends (thanks Nirupa, Mike, and Mashard) have sent me this article on MSNBC. It's "10 questions to be answered in the next Star Wars movie".

First of all, the guy who wrote this is an idiot. He tries to pose as a Star Wars expert when he obviously has not read any of the books, comics, or played any of the video games, which give you lots of keys to the stories. I'm not saying you're an idiot if you haven't read those--I've only read a few--but don't pretend to be an expert if you haven't done that.

He does ask some good questions that your typical, non nerd (a title I wear proudly--you are what you are) fans will have no idea what the answers are. So I'll go through and answer, give hints/predictions, and tell you when I don't know the answer to all of his questions.

Please feel free to ask any questions you have about Star Wars in the comments--I'll keep checking and answer all of those that I can. If I make a mistake, please feel free to point it out to me.

1. Why does Leia not play a more prominent role in the Original Trilogy? One thing to remember as we go through this is that George Lucas is a horrible writer. There are definitely holes in his story. I was surprised when I heard that Anakin knew that Padme was pregnant in ROTS (Revenge of the Sith). It was implied in the Orignial Trilogy that he doesn't know at all. He obviously doesn't know that he had twins--we know that for a fact when he searches Luke's feelings in Return of the Jedi and discovers that Luke has a sister. Obi Wan separated the twins in case Vader or the Emperor discovered of their existence--you don't keep all your eggs in one basket. And as for why does Leia not play a more prominent role, for whatever reason she was the backup plan for the Jedi. They decided to role the dice with Luke at first, but had he failed, Leia would have been trained as a Jedi. And consequently, in the books afterwards, Leia plays a HUGE role. She becomes leader of the Republic, and has three children who are strong in The Force. I think the author of the article is just trying to go snotty PC on us here.

2. Why does Vader not realize earlier that Luke is his son? Simple question, simple answer. He believes that any child he had died. He's not looking for his son, so he doesn't find him.

3. Why is the political structure so poorly explained? Look, dude, this is Star Wars, not Star Trek. Star Trek is the intellectual SciFi series--Star Trek goes out of it's way to make sure it's universe is in order. All of the races and political leanings are clearly explained, and the "science" of how that universe works is defined. There are books that explain the "science" of Star Trek (no, I haven't read any); even though it's made up, there are "laws" that every episode follows.

Star Wars isn't like that. George Lucas isn't that smart, and he doesn't pay that much attention to detail. You're never going to see that much time devoted to the political structure of Star Wars. It's the action SciFi series, not the intellectual.

4. Who are the Sith? Finally dude, you ask some decent questions. (Sorry, but the overly anal fan gets on my nerves.) There are some GREAT comics that deal with the History of the Sith. I highly recommend:

Tales of the Jedi: Dark Lords of the Sith by Tom Veitch and Kevin J. Anderson
Tales of the Jedi: The Fall of the Sith Empire by Kevin J. Anderson
Tales of the Jedi: Golden Age of the Sith by Kevin J. Anderson
Tales of the Jedi: Knights of the Republic by Tom Veitch
Tales of the Jedi: Redemption by Kevin J. Anderson
Tales of the Jedi: The Freedon Nadd Uprising by Kevin J. Anderson
Tales of the Jedi: The Sith War by Kevin J. Anderson

These are all comics (so they're short) dealing with the history of the Sith. They're really good, and yes I've read all of those.

I found a decent web site that gives you some good details on the Sith's history
here. One thing that doesn't go into too much detail is the Master/Apprentice law of the Sith. "Only two there are: a Master, and a Apprentice." This was laid down by Darth Bane "a thousand" (again, times are vague in the Star Wars universe--attention to detail) years before the Fall of the Republic. It was your typical story of too much back stabbing amongst the bad guys. There were too many Lord's fighting each other to be Dark Lord of the Sith (the supreme ruler), and not fighting the Jedi. So, after Darth Bane took over, he killed off most of the Lords and solved the problem of backstabbing by saying only two could exist. It's really as simple as that.

5. What are Vader's Ambitions? WARNING: BIG SPOILERS HERE. Vader wants to rule the galaxy. Anakin Skywalker is supremely arrogant, and believes that he is the greatest thing that ever happened to the galaxy. He also wants to change the world, in his mind for the better. He believes the best way to do that is for him to be in charge. He hints at that in his discussions with Padme in Attack of the Clones, he flat out states in The Empire Strikes Back, AND, if you play the Revenge of the Sith video game and beat it, there is an alternate ending to the movie. In it, Anakin beats Obi Wan, and thus his body is not destroyed. He goes to see his Master, Darth Sidious, who hands him a new lightsabre. Vader takes it and strikes him down, and he rules the galaxy with an iron fist.

6. What exactly do the Jedi have to do to be trained? Does it really matter that much? You're reaching, reaching...and not grabbing. The OUTSTANDING Clone Wars cartoon that was created and shown on Cartoon Network shows Anakin becoming a Jedi Knight. I highly recommend you watch that (Volume 1 is out now, Volume 2 coming who knows when).

7. Why aren't the Jedi perfect? Because they're not. They have grown arrogant, and lackadaisical, and sloppy, and a bit careless. They have ruled with relative peace and ease for 1000 years. They got sloppy. It happens.

8. Same question as 7.

9. What is Yoda's background? I don't know. I've never really read anything about who he is, where he comes from, his race, etc. Are there any books or comics about this? Does anyone know?

10. Where does the Force come from? Count me as one of the fans who said, "Are you fucking kidding me?" when I heard the midichlorian description in The Phantom Menace. But like it or not, that was Lucas' description. This is where we go back to "Lucas is a bad writer." To quote Kevin Bacon in A Few Good Men, "These are the facts, and they are incontrovertible." We just have to live with him sometimes.

So there you go. Like I said, please feel free to post any questions you have. May The Force be with you.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

What to say? Finally, the story is complete. Everything I've seen makes me believe that this movie will be much better than Phantom Menace (not that bad) and Attack of the Clones (horrible). All the reviews have been outstanding. Hopefully this will be the prequel that we've been waiting for; a story that can stand up to the orginal trio.

So yes, it will be Star Wars week here on the blog. The quotes will be Star Wars all week, we'll have some in depth analysis of what makes Boba Fett so cool, and this afternoon we'll list the best and the worst of the Jedi. That will get Barry excited, I promise you that much.

I'm going to the midnight showing on Wednesday; if any of you want to go with me, let me know please and I'll preorder you a ticket. So Thursday we'll have a review.

Enjoy the week. May The Force be with you.

Shout out

To the most knowledgeable female basketball mind I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

To a DIE HARD fan of her--and yes they are HER--San Antonio Spurs.

To a woman who is so impressed with Manu's game that she thinks his nasty ass is sexy.

To a woman who goes out to bars to actually watch the game, not to just hang out and seem cool to the guys.

To a woman who owns the NBA package--when I don't.

To a very good friend of mine.

Carly Kaufman, take your bow.

What a game!

In case you haven't figured it out, the "This is my favorite time of year" refers to the NBA playoffs. It's spring moving into summer, girls start wearing nothing, all the outdoor sports like softball and volleyball start up, people start taking vacations and have time to do fun things, and there's basketball on every night. GREAT basketball. NBA Playoff basketball. The best in the world.

The Mavs game last night was incredible. I couldn't believe how I felt at the end of the game; my stomach was literally in knots. I haven't been this worried about the Mavs winning a game since 1993, when I was terrified the Mavs would not beat the Timberwolves on the last day of the season and would tie the NBA record for fewest wins ever. I REALLY like this Mavs team, and REALLY want them to win. And what a great game for both teams. Wow!

Congratulations to Erick Dampier. Sure, he's a little bitch, and only plays hard when he's publicly embarrassed. But Dirk did the right thing by publicly embarrassing him, because he finally turned in a good game. 15 points on 7 of 8 shooting, along with 12 rebounds (7 offensive). Now it's Dirk's turn to be challenged. His stat line isn't bad...23 points, 8-18 shooting, 12 rebounds, a couple of blocks. He disappeared in the fourth quarter, however. The only shot he hit was the eventual game winner...and I believe he only attempted 4 shots in the quarter. He needs to step it up and start playing like the star he is...like the star he played like in the regular season. It wasn't a bad game for him, but it wasn't a good one.

Michael Finley was unbelievable. Un fricking believable. 31 points on 12 of 18 shooting, with 6 rebounds and 5 assists, and--I can't believe I'm writing this--he played GREAT defense on Amare Stoudemire. An incredible performance from Finley. He probably won't hit another jumper in the playoffs, but he couldn't miss last night. Thank you for stepping up when we needed you Mike! Your shot selection still sucks, but when you're as hot as you were last night, it's all good.

I'm sorry that Joe Johnson got hurt, but the "flagrant" foul that Jerry Stackhouse picked up on him at the end of the first half was not a flagrant foul, or a dirty play. Hell, it looked like a clean block on the replay. We don't need to dwell on it; I'm not mad at the refs for making that call. They're human, and refs will call a collision like that flagrant 9 times out of 10. But no talk about the Mavs being dirty from Suns fans or the media, please.

It's too bad that he's out, though, because that really hurts the Suns. I don't want to win against a depleted Suns team; I want to see how we do against the real deal. Good for you Joe for hitting one of those free throws, that was really impressive. I hope you come back quickly.

Congratulations Mavs. I love all the knee jerking the media does with this team. People, this is a savvy, veteran team that knows how to win. They know how to play when their backs are against the wall, and they know a must win when they see one. There are a lot of playoff youngsters on this team, and I think that eventually that will keep them from winning it all, but do not count this team out. They're too good, too smart, and been there too many times to go out like little bitches, which is what the media keeps wanting to say about them. Hey, I got worried after the first Houston game, too, but they reminded me that they've been there, done that. Let's everyone else learn, too.

Go Mavs!

And other thoughts...

I felt that these issues are important enough to deserve their own posts, even though I don't like putting up back to back posts. Here you go:

* If you'll notice, there's a new link under "My Boys" to Mr. Kyle Edward Holmes, aka Kal El, aka Superman. He's the closest thing to a genius that I have as a friend, and that is meant seriously, and not as a slight to my friends. Check out his blog here, as I'm sure you will not be disappointed.

* Kyle, Barry, and I have talked about joining together to make one blog combining all of our talents and interests. We've got the foundation set up, and it will happen someday. But not yet...not yet.

* Bad news for Chapelle's Show fans. Looks like Dave has checked himself into a mental hospital in South Africa. I suggest buying the Season 2 DVD, as it looks like there might never be a Season 3. That's too bad, because that was possibly the best show on TV right now.

I don't understand why Dave Chappelle had such a hard time handling his success. Friends say there is no drug use. He's been in this business for years, since he was a little kid. He's had to work his way up, so it wasn't like he was suddenly handed success and money and had no idea what to do with it. He's got a family behind him, and he's spoken of them often on his show, so that should be a stabilizing influence on him. There's really no reason for him to lose it over this.

In other words, yeah, he's been doing drugs.

* I'm going to write a full post about Lebron firing his agent and supposedly hiring his friends to represent him. I've come to have a lot of respect for an incredible businessman who is the last person you would think of while reading about this: Jay Z.

Again, more on that later. And I promise a non-NBA post soon. We need to talk about cloning, methinks.

Peace.

One more quick thing...as I was using the blogger's spell check to go over this, the word "blog" came up on the spell checker. How does blogspot.com not have "blog" in their spellchecker? Are you kidding me? Wow.

Okay...for real this time...

Peace.

More NBA quick hits...

$ I cannot believe the Mavs beat the shit out of the Rockets like that Saturday night. Good for them. What a dominating performance. Don't fuck with the Mavs in Game 7, they don't play around.

$ Game 1's, however...yeah, you can fuck with them then. I can't believe the Suns beat the shit out of the Mavs like they did in Game 1. I didn't see the game, so I can't say too much about it. But you can't let Joe Johnson and Quentin Richardson combine for 37 points. You just can't. Marion's going to get 20, Amare's going to get 30, but you can't let those two end up with about 20 each. You have to stop someone. Don't worry about Amare, he's going to get his, just concentrate on stopping 3 out of the other 4.

Oh, and more free throws please Mavs. Thanks.

$ Congrats to Steve Nash for winning the MVP award. For those who are saying it's racist, fuck you. Fuck you up the goat ass. Steve Nash is right; if anything exists in basketball (not in the NBA; there is no possible way you can claim that the NBA is racist, but in the world of basketball: college, high school, the media covering it, etc.) it is, as Nash put it, reverse racism. Let me put it to you this way: you have two guys standing in front of you, both 6'8", both the same weight, both the same build. Who do you assume is better? That's right. White players immediately are suspected as not being any good. This a fact.

This was a case of rooting for the little guy, rewarding a player who almost singlehandedly changed the style of basketball played in the NBA, and of no one player establishing themselves as an MVP this year. I'm sorry for all the "How could Shaq not win it" guys, but is Shaq even the MVP of the Miami Heat? I don't think so. I think it's Dwayne Wade. This wasn't racist, and shame on anyone who says it is.

$ If Ray Allen really is injured, Seattle will get swept.

$ People, nothing bad is going to happen in the Indy-Detroit series. So calm down. And it's not even that good basketball.

$ Congrats to Todd for getting Confirmed. I'm proud of you, little buddy.

Coupla things...

~ If you're an NCAA basketball fan, I wish you'd watched the Mavs-Rockets game last night. Series tied at 2-2, pivotal game 5, with Game 5 winners winning the series 83% of the time, according to TNT. Both teams having some bad blood spill into the media this week. Both teams featuring athletic, high scoring lineups that love to run, love to slash, love to pass and kick, love to shoot the three. No 1 on 1, stereotypical NBA basketball. This was good team ball based around two stars (well, really one, since Dirk continued to suck). What a fantastic game. What a fantastic series.

~ Dirk, please never stick out your tongue again. I remember when that was cool for about one week when I was a Junior in High School. Then people saw pictures of what they look like. Wow. Just say no.

~ Player of the Game: Jerry Stackhouse. He was INCREDIBLE. And that late jump ball, where 6'6" Stackhouse got the tip over 7'3" Dikembe Mutombo, and then ran to the corner and NAILED a three over Tracy McGrady. Stackhouse was crazy on yesterday. I've never really liked you Jerry, but you've finally pulled it together this year. Thank God.

~ Venus Fly Traps are so cool. Seriously. Isn't life amazing? How can a PLANT survive by eating fricking bugs? You never know in this crazy world...you just never know.

~ Word of advice: don't watch comedies while lifting weights. Dropping a bar or dumbbell on yourself because you started laughing in the middle of a set is not funny.

~ "Johnnie Cochran Jr.'s most celebrated clients, O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson, joined civil rights figures and Hollywood stars at the lawyer's funeral Wednesday, remembering Cochran's cunning legal skills and his commitment to the people he represented." --Quote from MSNBC.COM

I couldn't make that up.

~ Question: why is attempted murder punished less than murder? Isn't it the intent that matters? You're punished less because you're just less effective? "Well, I'm a really bad shot, so I missed the person I was trying to shoot, so I get off for less. But I'll lift weights in prison now, and when I get out I'll be able to go beat him to death." Seriously. If you try to kill someone, you're a murderer. Period.

~ Ain't nothin gonna breaka my stride/Ain't nothin gonna hold me down/Oh no/I've got to keep on movin

~ The Kidd Kradick Show on KISS FM is the most racist thing I think I've ever heard on radio.

~ Outside of any time Pat Buchanan is on the radio.

~ So Ice Cube is replacing Vin Diesel as Triple X? Really? That's the best action star you could get? And Sam Jackson agreed to be a part of this...why? (The only acceptable answer? They wrote a number on a check and kept writing zeroes after it and just said, "Tell us when to stop, Sammy L.") Next thing you know, the Lakers will replace Shaq with Chris Mihm! Oh, wait...

~ I've got to give some love to San Antonio here. I was in New Braunfels this weekend, and they get all the SA radio stations. Well, as you may or may not know, the Spurs are playing the Nuggets in a TOUGH first round series. You should have heard all the people on the radio. They were going NUTS over the Spurs. I was listening to a club station at midnight on Saturday night, and the DJ is just giving shout outs like crazy to the Spurs, and everybody in the club would go NUTS whenever he did that. And when they would do a game to give away Spurs tickets, it was like they were giving away a million dollars. It was just so cool to see (or hear, I guess) an entire city come together like that. It reminded me of when the Stars won the Stanley Cup; Dallas was kind of like that then. But anyway, much love to SA for staying true.

~ That Gavin Degraw has got a little something.

~ Thanks to Bungie, the makers of Halo, for the changes they made to the game. They're great.

~ I'll say it: I don't like short skirts. And I fucking hate Capri pants.

~ And finally, I went to a church camp last weekend. First one I've ever really been to. From what I've heard about Church camps from friends (Protestant), and now having attended one (Catholic), here are my thoughts:
1) They are simply trying to brainwash the kids that go there. They wake them up super early, do athletic stuff during the day to tire you out, keep you up late at night, don't give you enough fluids, sing monotonous songs (I had to listen to the same two cords for three mother fucking hours), place you somewhere where it is impossible to get physically comfortable, and surround you with people telling you you're evil if you don't think/feel the way they do. I've got news for you, people: that's the same treatment Prisoners of War are given when they are being interrogated. It's a brainwashing technique, simple as that.
2) I didn't experience this this weekend, but Church camps are fricking orgies. It's ridiculous. I'd throw out the Hot Sports Opinion that more kids lose their virginity at Church camp than at Senior Prom in High School now.
3) Nothing is more annoying than the "adult who really, really wants the kids to think they're cool, and does anything and everything they do in order to fit in".
4) Is it a rule that anyone who runs a Church camp has to be at least a little creepy?
5) Man it sucks to be 15. The acne, the voice changing, the physical uncoordinated awkwardness, the having to be cool every minute of every day, the being nervous every minute of every day because you know you have to be cool every minute of every day, the RIDICULOUS fashion that you have to wear...wow. I feel sorry for my future children. Is there anyway they can jump from 13 to 19?

~ Peace.