NBA Draft Review 06

So you might have noticed that I did not do a draft preview, as I always have done. This was not an accident. I didn't feel prepared: I hardly watched any NCAA basketball this past year, I didn't do any research before the draft because of how close it was to the end of the Finals (and I think we all now I was pretty focused on that), and none of the players were good enough that it excited me.

Make no mistake: this is a very weak draft. But in the end, it was this that ended up catching my interest. Most drafts are fairly straightforward--there are few surprises. This time, no one had any idea what was going on, and that was interesting to me. So I did a lot of research the day before and the day off, and actually watched the entire first round for the first time in a long time (Normally I just watch the lottery, and pay a tiny bit of attention to the rest of the first round). This draft I paid attention to, and was rewarded: it was truly insane out there.

One other note before we get to the grades: Fuck ESPN.COM, and fuck Chad Ford. There isn't a single piece of draft coverage on espn.com that isn't insider. It's insane. If it weren't for Page 2, I would never go to espn.com again. Fuck you guys...you're not half as good as you think you are.

Toronto Raptors
Picks: Andrea Bargani (1), P.J. Tucker (35)
Added: Cash
Dealt: Edin Bavcic (56)
Grade: B+
Bargani is going to suck. Really. Sure, he could be the next Dirk, but we all know he's going to suck. However, I give the Raptors credit: they tried like crazy to trade the pick, couldn't, and took the player with the biggest upside. P.J. Tucker was also a good pick in the second round. So they get credit for trying. Remember, this is a terrible draft: no one in this draft will end up being a star, so having the #1 pick is not that big of a deal.

Chicago Bulls
Picks: Tyrus Thomas (4), Thabo Sefolosha (13)
Added: Viktor Khryapa (Portland)
Dealt: LaMarcus Aldridge (2), Rodney Carney (16), Cash
Grade: B-
Chicago had two trades: Aldridge for Thomas and Khryapa with Portland, and Carney and cash for Sefolsha. Ummm...okay. I thought there were better players available at 16 than some Swiss guy, and if you want to do the whole draft and trade thing with Portland--especially when you know that the Bobcats is going with either Morrison or Roy--you would ask for more than Khryapa. But hey, they got the players they wanted, and Thomas could be one of the best players to come out of the draft. Not a bad night by any stretch...and now they are set up to trade for KG. Yes, you read that right. More on that later.

Charlotte Bobcats
Picks: Adam Morrison (3), Ryan Hollins (50)
Grade: B
I'm telling you: Morrison is the next Wally Szczerbiak. Is that a bad thing? No. Is that a good thing? No. Everyone needs to just calm down about him. This is an instance when they should have listened to Jordan and gone with Roy.

Portland Trailblazers
Picks: LaMarcus Aldridge (2), Brandon Roy (6), Sergio Rodriguez (27), Joel Freeland (30)
Added: Raef LaFrentz (Boston), Dan Dickau (Boston), 2 Future Second Round Picks (Indiana), 1 Future Second Round Pick (Memphis)
Dealt: Tyrus Thomas (2), Sebastian Telfair (to Boston), Theo Ratliff (to Boston), 2008 Second Round Pick (to Boston), Randy Foye (to Minnesota), James White (31), Alexander Johnson (45), Cash
Grade: A-
I was going to give Portland just a B+ because I think they were trading just to make trades, but ending up with the best player in the draft got them a weak A. I don't think LaMarcus Aldridge will amount to anything, but he won't shoot anyone, and that's a plus. Roy is the best player in the draft and I think will be a Michael Redd-ish player someday, which is a good thing. Having Joel Freeland--a 7'0" white guy from Enland that I outweigh by 20 pounds--is so damn amusing that I love that pick just so I can laugh at it. Ratliff's expiring contract would have been nice to keep, but as a player I would have rather had LaFrentz. Hopefully they can convince him to opt out in 07, though he would be retarded to do so.

They'll definitely deal Darius Miles, and try to deal Zach Randolph. If they do so, they have a nice young nucleus with which to build on. They are moving in the right direction, which is more than you could say for a while.

Atlanta Hawks
Picks: Sheldon Williams (5), Soloman Jones (33)
Grade: D-
Once again...the Hawks are morons. A) Sheldon Williams is not good enough to be the number 5 pick, even in this weak draft. B) You have 10,000 power/small forwards, did you really need another one? C) In the Year of the Draft Trade, you couldn't have tried to get a PG that you so desperately need through a trade? Billy King is an idiot.

Minnesota Timberwolves
Picks: Randy Foye (7), Craig Smith (36)
Dealt: Brandon Roy (6)
Grade: F
Speaking of idiot GM's...

So Kevin McHale. You get the best player in your lap, Brandon Roy, to fall in your lap at #6. He's a guy who can immediately help you. He's a scorer and defender your team desperately needs. And what do you do? You deal him away for JACK SHIT.

God I hate you Kevin McHale. You have single handedly ruined KG's career, and I hate you for that. There is one possible silver lining--not for the Timberwolves, but for KG--I think if you do trade Brandon Roy for Randy Foye (BTW, I'm not into shooting guards under 6'5" unless their name is "Iverson" or "Terry"), then maybe, just maybe, that's part of a Chicago trade. Look at it this way: KG and Randy Foye to Chicago for Tyrus Thomas, the Swiss guy who everyone likes, Ben Gordon (or Tyson Chandler or Luol Deng, but I think they try to move Gordon), and a first round pick.

YES. Chicago's core is still in tact, and they add a true Superstar to help push them over the top and make them a legit Eastern Conference competitor NOW. You've got Foye to replace Gordon, who could be even better. If you're Minnesota, you get potentially the best player in the draft, a solid player in the draft, a Sixth Man of the Year, and a decent pick. Is that worth KG? No. But when you trade a superstar, you never get exactly what they're worth. If you're lucky, you get close to it. This is probably as close as you're going to get.

If you're not doing that, then trading Roy for Foye and nothing else is just dumb. Which makes more sense for Kevin McHale to do something dumb than pull off a good trade like the one I just mentioned.

Houston Rockets
Picks: Rudy Gay (8), Steve Novak (32), Lior Eliyahu (44)
Added: Shane Battier (Vancouver)
Dealt: Rudy Gay (8), Stromile Swift, Cash
Grade: D+
Let's pretend to be Hubie Brown here (and yes, once again rip off Bill Simmons):

You're the Houston Rockets. You've just come off one of those seasons where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. You land the most talented player in the draft, someone who the day of the draft was being considered for the number 1 pick, though his desire is in question. You have last year's big free agent acquisition, who did not do much for you this year, but again, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. So what do you do? You trade that for a very average pro who is a nice role player, but nothing else. In other words, you piss on yourself rather than take a chance to add a player with TREMENDOUS upside to a team that has two great players.

Am I sold on Rudy Gay? No. I'm not. But Shane Battier is the kind of player a team adds to get them over the hump. He's the "glue" guy who makes a good squad a championship squad. He's a great sixth or seventh man on a great team. But...do you want him to be the third best player on your team? HELL NO. And that's what he now is.

Again, I'm not sold on Gay. I don't think he'll end up being a great player unless he can find something to motivate him, which is doubtful. But...if you're Houston, and you have one of those "well...shit" seasons like last year, and you've still got two young stars, you take a chance with Gay. You've been given a freebe. Neither Rudy Gay or Shane Battier is going to make or break this team: Yao and TMac's bodies will make or break this team. So you take a flyer on the guy with talent, hope it works, and you've lost nothing if it doesn't. You don't trade him--and another decent player--away for a very average player.

Golden State Warriors
Picks: Patrick O'Bryant (9), Kosta Perovic (38)
Grade: B-
Another center for Golden State? Sure...why not? Doesn't really matter.

Seattle SuperSonics
Picks: Saer Sene (10), Denham Brown (40), Yotam Halperin (53)
Grade: F
I tried not to give Seattle an F. Really, I did. But when you drafted two project centers last year...and draft another project center this year...and all of them look like they're going to suck...I mean, I'm only a man. What more could you ask from me?

Oh, and the two Israelis being drafted: Carly, I know you're reading this. Don't pretend like you're not. We need comments from you. Did you think this day would ever come? Give us your thought about two Israelis in the NBA. Did you have a party? You should have! Congratulations!

Orlando Magic
Picks: J.J. Redick (11), James Augustine (41)
Added: Cash
Dealt: Lior Eliyahu (44)
Grade: C
J.J. Redick will be the best of the Steve Kerrs. You know--John Paxson, Craig Hodges, Fred Hoiberg, Steve Kerr. Those kind of players. So yes, that's a good thing, but not on a crappy team like Orlando who already has one undersized guard who is a defensive liability. It's going to be hard for Dwight Howard to get rebounds when he's on the bench in foul trouble.

Oklahoma City Hornets
Picks: Hilton Armstrong (12), Cedric Simmons (15), Marcus Vinicius de Souza (43)
Grade: B-
Anytime you have a 6'10" center from a major program who scouts aren't salivating over, that's a bad thing. And that's the case with Armstrong. However, Simmons could prove to be a good player, and so they made up for drafting Armstrong too soon by grabbing Simmons. They moved from a C+ to a B- because Marcus Vinicius de Souza is such a cool name. I wish I was joking.

Philadelphia 76ers
Picks: Rodney Carney (16), Bobby Jones (37), Edin Bavcic (56)
Added: Cash
Dealt: Thabo Sefolsha (13)
Grade: C
Eh. This team's fucked anyway.

Utah Jazz
Picks: Ronnie Brewer (13), Dee Brown (46), Paul Millsap(47)
Grade: B+
I like Ronnie Brewer, him and his misshapen arm. I think he was a great addition to the Jazz, who need a slashing, long 2 guard. I also liked Dee Brown in the second round; maybe he can bring out something more in Deron Williams? Good draft for what has been one of the most underacheiving teams in the league the last two years.

Indiana Pacers
Picks: Shawne Williams (17), James White (31)
Dealt: Alexander Johnson (45), 2 Second Round Picks
Grade: B-
I've still got faith in Larry Bird and Donnie Walsh. They can afford to take a chance on Shawne Williams after grabbing what I will think will be the second best player out of last year's draft, Danny Granger. The bottom line is Williams is so young no one knows what he'll be. White isn't a bad pick for the second round.

Washington Wizards
Picks: Oleksiy Pecherov (18), Vladimir Veremeenko (48)
Grade: C
Ummmmm...sure, why not?

Sacramento Kings
Picks: Quincy Douby (19)
Grade: B+
They got the sleeper of the draft in Douby, who is instant offense off the bench. He'll be a great tweener guard backup for the Kings. Also earns points for his last name being "Douby".

New York Knicks
Picks: Renaldo Balkman (20), Mardy Collins (29)
Grade: D-
So much for Isiah Thomas being able to draft well. Don't worry about the fans in New York; I seriously thought that Jay Bilas was going to come off the set and attack Isiah. And no one would have blamed him.

Boston Celtics
Picks: Rajon Rondo (21), Leon Powe (49)
Added: Sebastian Telfair (Portland), Theo Ratliff (Portland), 2008 Second Round Pick (Portland), Brian Grant (Phoenix)
Dealt: Randy Foye (7), Raef Lafrentz (to Portland), Dan Dickau (to Portland), 2007 First Round Pick (Cavs)
Grade: D-
Wow. Simply amazing. How can all these ex-Celtics be such bad GM's? You want Telfair over Foye? Really? Or even Telfair over Gay? Really? And you'd rather have Rondo over a pick in next year's very deep draft? Really? The only thing that keeps this from being an F is I think they have the expiring contracts now to help making an Allen Iverson trade more realistic.

New Jersey Nets
Picks: Marcus Williams (22), Josh Boone (23), Hassan Adams (54)
Grade: B+
Nice draft for New Jersey. They took a top ten talent in Williams. He'll get to learn slowly from one of the best point guards ever--in other words, if he doesn't succeed here, he was not meant to succeed. It's late enough in the draft when you can take a chance on a thug from South Central (he'll be out of the league in 2 years, I'm calling it here, but I'd still take the chance here). I also think people are selling Josh Boone short--here's a guy who came to UCONN and looked like he was going to be a star, but took a supporting player role when the coach brought other "stars" in, and did it well and without complaint. I think he's going to be an Udonis Haslem type player in the NBA, which is EXACTLY what New Jersey needs. They kept it simple and did well.

Memphis Grizzlies
Picks: Kyle Lowry (24), Alexander Johnson (45)
Added: Stromile Swift (Houston)
Dealt: Shane Battier (to Houston), Future Second Round Pick (Portland)
Grade: A-
The Griz were not going to win a championship with Shane Battier. They were not going to win a playoff series with Shane Battier. Hell, they probably weren't going to win a playoff game with Shane Battier. So what not trade him for the player who has the potential to be the best in the draft? An all-purpose scoring slasher would be a perfect compliment to Pau Gasol. If this works and Gay reaches his potential, then the Griz will be championship contenders. If it doesn't, then they lost a decent player who would never help them get out of the first round. Good gamble.

Cleveland Cavaliers
Picks: Shannon Brown (25), Daniel Gibson (42), Ejike Ugboaja (55)
Grade: B
They did the "best player available" thing with Brown, since there wasn't much left at that point that they needed (maybe Farmar, but he's far from a sure thing). And they got in Daniel Gibson at 42 a player they were considering taking at 25. He might be the steal of the draft; unlike Brown, Gibson will get his chance to play as the Cavs sorely need a point. And I shouldn't say Brown won't play; I'm sure Larry Hughes will get hurt like he always does. Hell, maybe this is a B+!

LA Lakers
Picks: Jordan Farmer (26), J.R. Pinnock (58)
Added: Maurice Evans (Pistons)
Dealt: Cheick Samb (51), 2007 Second Round Pick
Grade: B+
The Lakers also drafted the best player available; fortunately for them, it also filled their biggest hole, point guard. I LOVED the Maurice Evans trade--they actually have someone to bring off the bench now, and they got him for nothing. More on that later.

Phoenix Suns
Picks: None
Added: 2007 First Round Pick (Cleveland's from Boston), Cash (Portland)
Dealt: Rajon Rondo (21), Sergio Rodriguez (27), Brian Grant (Boston)
Grade: A-
Surprised at the high grade? I am too. But let's look at their situation:

1: We like the team we have, and no rookie in the 20s is going to help us for the next 2-3 years, especially in a draft that sucks.
2: Money is tight for the outstanding players that we have; we need ever dollar we have to resign the team we like.
3: There are stupid people out there not only willing to take the bad contracts/picks we have off our hands, but are willing to give us a first round pick in next years much deeper draft.

I mean seriously, how many times have you looked at a championship-contending team, looked at the shitty draft/draft pick that they are stuck with, and were like, "Man, they were better off just not having to pay that guy for 3 years?" Well, the Suns thought the same thing, and did something about it. Kudos to them. God this is probably the best franchise from top to bottom in the NBA right now.

Dallas Mavericks
Picks: Maurice Ager (28)
Added: 2007 Second Round Pick (LA Lakers)
Dealt: J.R. Pinnock (58)
Grade: B
Same as the Lakers: drafted the best player available, who also filled a small need. This will free them up to trade for Sam Cassell. I'll explain more about that next week when I write a "What the Mavs Should Do This Offseason" Post. Also took a page from Phoenix's book and said, "Don't have a player we like at 58? Give him away and try again next year!" Good job!

Los Angeles Clippers
Picks: Paul Davis (34), Guiellermo Diaz (52)
Grade: B+
Man the later teams in the draft did great! The Clippers didn't have a first round pick, but got a dirty white boy to go crash the boards and hit people (always necessary for a team contending for a championship), and got a guy who was a potential first round pick at the end of the second round. This team needs two things: to resign Sam Cassell, and to grow together. They should be fine.

Denver Nuggets
Added: Future Second Round Pick (Boston)
Dealt: Leon Powe (49)
Grade: C+
Didn't have a pick until late in the second round. As bad as they have drafted lately, and as bad as this draft was, not a bad thing.

Analogies & Metaphors

I got this in an email the other day, and it made me laugh enough that I decided it was worth sharing. Some of these kids might have a really superb, dry wit...and some are the biggest dumbasses in the world. My favorite is the quote of the day, and it was hard to choose.

***

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain, like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

The MySpace Phenomenon, or There Are A Lot of Shitty Parents Out There

We've all heard of MySpace. It's this year's fad that we will be making fun of on VH-1 in a few years (now that I think about it, when will we start making fun of the "Remember the blanks" show on VH-1 on a show making fun of past years? Okay, I'm rambling...). I joined a while back; you know when cause I made a comment about it here (I don't remember when exactly, and I'm not going to bother looking it up). So now that I've been on MySpace a few months, what do I think about it, and about the current controversies surrounding it? I'm glad you asked.

I was very embarrassed when my dear friend Mayra made me join MySpace. It's way too trendy of a thing for me to do usually. However, I let her talk me into it, and I must say it's been a great experience for me. I've met up with a bunch of friends from college who I haven't spoken to in a while, met up with old friends from high school who I've been very happy to hear from, and become better friends with friends from the past that would not have happened if not for MS. Of course, I've heard from some really random people as well, even some really crazy people. But that's the beauty of the internet: you just hit delete when you bump into them, and move on.

Do some people take MySpace too seriously? Of course. I find nothing more annoying than people who complain about whether or not they are on your Top 8 (you want to see new faces every once in a while people, or others are closer friends than you, sorry it's nothing personal), and some people really would like to talk over MS than with "real" forms of communication, like the phone or spending time together. But like anything in the world, if you take it too seriously it's not fun, but if you just roll with it and take things with a grain of salt, you're going to really enjoy it. So for adults, it's good clean fun (or dirty fun, if you're into that, but it's your choice).

Of course, one cannot be a popular piece of new web technology without controversy, and with kids is when it gets interesting. Of course kids got on and went what I like to think of as Avril Lavine on the page. They were talking about how much they hated parents/teachers/authority/whatever, talked about sex and drugs, basically just acted like kids. Nothing unusual, nothing they didn't do before they had a web page with which to permanently document the dumb things they say or did, but unfortunately for them, now it is out there for the world to see.

Parents around the country pulled a Sheila Broflovski and said, "Wh-wha-what?" There were immediate calls of protest from parents across the country, and several ridiculous stories have come about--high school girls flying to the Mid East to meet boyfriends out there, of course pedafiles meeting children on the site, "terroristic" threats made against teachers and schools, etc. MySpace's reputation in a matter of a couple months has changed from a fun and cool sight to meet friends on to an evil breeding ground to Columbine-like violence and pedophilia, capped off by news reports such as this article by Bob Sullivan that claim, "Fundamentally, MySpace is popular for one reason: Young people publish hundreds of thousands of risque photos of themselves, and others like to look."

Okay...parents...MySpace supporters...Bob...let's all take a deep breath and calm down. Are we calm? Are we relaxed? Are our minds open to honest, rationale thought and open discussion? Good.

Now that you're clam, I have to say this to angry parents and Bob: grow up and get a fucking clue.

Man I'd make a good mediator! ;-)

Anyway, to the parents first: while yes, of course it is necessary for MySpace to have some sort of controls in place, it is both totally unreasonable and literally impossible to expect MySpace to come up with a bulletin board site (which is essentially what MySpace is) that is perfectly safe for children. I have bad news for the idiot parents out there: THERE IS NO PLACE WHERE CHILDREN ARE COMPLETELY SAFE. Nowhere. None. Not at church, not at Scouting, not at a park, not at a mall, not at school, not at day care, and not online. Wherever children are, predators are there waiting. It's a sad fact of the world. So while yes, each of these institutions has a responsibility to make their situations as safe as possible for kids, it's up to you, parents, to be on guard for such activities, because there is no such thing as a foolproof security system anywhere.

This is just another example of shitty, lazy parents passing their responsibilities on to others. It's YOUR job to keep track of what your children are doing. It's YOUR job to make sure they're not participating in things they shouldn't be participating in. Parents need to teach their kids to be aware of strangers online just as they would strangers offering them candy on the street corner. It's a different medium, but it is still their responsibility. Get your kid's passwords. Know what sites they visits. TAKE SOME TIME and spend it with your kids as they surf, so you know what they're doing. All it takes is a little time and a little patience as you listen to your kid whine, but hey, I've got news for you, THAT'S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ALL ABOUT.

I think too many parents believe that their children have a right to privacy. What a foolish notion! Let me dispel that here: Your children have no right to privacy from you. None. Their emails, their letters, their room, their web pages, are all subject to your scrutiny. I don't recommend doing a full search of their email account every day when they've been behaving, but it's your responsibility to keep an active interest in their lives and make sure you know what they're up to. If parents to that, then kids won't have the opportunity to, I don't know, say plan in detail with 5 other kids the massacre of a school? Or try to book tickets to the Middle East to see an online boyfriend they've been talking to for months? So get off your asses you shitty parents and take an active role in your kid's lives. It's your job to teach your kids to be safe and to keep them safe while they're young. Go do it.

And to media pundits like Bob Sullivan: fuck you too! Fundamentally MySpace is popular for risque photos? Huh? WTF? Get a clue. Thanks for yet another example of sensationalist journalism. I'm glad to know that I, and all my friends, are voyers and pedofiles and just want to look at underage kids on the internet. You got us. We're all just out there looking for kiddie porn, according to you. What a moron. I've detailed above why MySpace is popular; I won't bother to do it again. But the sensationalist claims of the media that MySpace is a breeding ground for that kind of thing are absurd. And I'm not just speaking from an adult's perspective: my youngest (almost) brother is 16, and has had a MySpace page for almost a year. Obviously most of his friends are the same age. I see his page all the time, and I've seen many of his friend's pages as well. I've never seen anything that made me think, "Wow, that's really inappropriate for a kid that age to have out there" in either a sexual or a violent nature. So don't even try the lame excuse that all kids out there are doing the worst of the stories you read. It's crap, and you know it.

So in the end, MySpace is a fun way for people to keep meet up and stay in touch with each other. Can some people use it for possibly inappropriate purposes? Sure. Can some people use it for evil and criminal purposes? Unfortunately, yes. You know what that makes it? Just like another institution in the world.

So leave MySpace alone, raise your kids yourself instead of trying to pawn that job off to someone else, and let the vast majority of MySpace users have the good, clean fun that they've been having.

Thoughts on the NBA Finals

Let's do this question and answer style.

Did the Mavs just lose their best opportunity to win a championship with this nucleus?

Not necessarily, but probably. As we all know, Phoenix is going to be incredibly good next year when Amare Stoudamire returns--even if he's only 75% of the player he used to be. The Spurs for the first time will now focus at least some of their attention on beating the Mavs, and will likely improve. Houston could/should be vastly improved over their nightmare season. As long as the Clips keep their nucleus (especially Sam Cassell), they will be improved. Finally, the Mavs didn't have to play the Pistons, which was undoubtedly the best team in the NBA until Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, when they suddenly just lost it. So this was probably the best opportunity the Mavs had to win a title.

So is there any hope for the Mavs?

Of course. They are the second best team in the NBA, and provided they resign Jason Terry will have their nucleus in tact again next year. There's also the theory of the "Suffering Apprentice": you need to lose a few times before you can win. I like how this fits with the Mavs--look at how poorly they handled the playoffs last year, and look how well they handled it this year. They'll learn and get better from this, just like they always have.

That's all fine and good...but the real question is this: will the Dallas Mavericks ever win an NBA Championship with Mark Cuban as the owner and David Stern as the commissioner?

I don't know. I'm sorry, but Miami only really won two games in that series, and no one is really taking into account what a HUGE change switching to the 2-3-2 format was. The NBA dropped that about 7 years ago, for exactly the reason we saw here: it allows the away team to build up too much momentum, thus taking away the home court "advantage" from the team with the better record. If the home team loses one of the first two games, it's all but over, and that's why the NBA got rid of it. So make no mistake: David Stern decided that he was not going to give Mark Cuban a championship, and that was that.

This really disappoints me, and not just because I'm a Mav's fan and it was my team that got screwed. I'm disappointed because, for the first time I can remember, David Stern screwed over a team for personal reasons. The NBA has played to favorites for years--this is the league who switched the first round of the playoffs to 7 games in mid season when it looked like the Lakers were going to draw the Timberwolves and lose in 2003--but it has always been for marketing purposes, or the "betterment of the league". It was to favor the large market teams (LA, New York, Chicago, Boston) or teams with a compelling story that captivated the country (Barkley in Phoenix, etc.). It was never just because David Stern didn't like the team. Did this make it right? No, of course not. But this is a business, and at least from a business perspective you could understand doing that.

But this is pettiness, and that is disappointing. I've always admired David Stern, but now I will definitely never hold him in as high esteem as I have in the past. He stooped to a level that I considered beneath him in this Finals.

Did I answer the question? To make sure, here's the answer: I think so. I'd like to think that Stern wouldn't stick it to the Mavs for years, and that he just didn't want Cuban to make it his first time. But this opened us up to a whole new vindictive side of him, and now I--nor anyone--really knows how far or long he's willing to take this.

So obviously you hate the Heat...

No, not at all. I've always loved Dwayne Wade, and he proved what I've always thought of him: he's a tireless competitor who will take his game to the next level to win. The praise I gave him during the All Star Game still stands. I also love Shaq in his later years, and I love it even more that he won a title without Kobe--that just makes Kobe look like even more of an ass. I've also always liked Udonis Haslem and James Posey. Of course I loathe Antoine Walker and Pat Riley, but this is one of my favorite teams in the East.

I'm honestly disappointed, because I feel that the Heat--and DWade especially--were cheated in this, too. They're better than this, and if they win, they deserve to win straight up--not shooting free throws so much that the championship is handed to them.

So what were your thoughts on Game 6?

I'm glad it ended the way it did, if it had to end for the Mavs: with the Heat honestly winning the deciding game. They beat the Mavs in a real/fair game. The Mavs fell in love with their jumpers, and literally shot themselves out of the game. It was too bad, because they've successfully avoided that temptation for most of the year. The worst thing that can happen with players who like to shoot jumpers in basketball (at any level) is when they are just a tiny bit off. It's close enough to make them think, "Well shit, I'll hit the next one." They then spend the rest of the night firing it up, to disastrous results. That's exactly what happened here.

And to those who say that complaints about the officiating were just sour grapes by Mavs fans, I say that last night proved you false. Check out the stats from last night: The Heat shot 14 more free throws, and DWade shot 21. In Game 5, the Heat shot 24 more free throws, and DWade shot 25. Similar numbers, yes? But you don't here people complaining about Game 6 because those were deserved. The Mavs shot jumpers all day so they didn't get to the line. It was as simple as that. If it was just "sour grapes", then pundits and Mav's fans would be complaining just as much about Game 6 as they were Game 5. But there was a difference in the calls, even when the stats were the same.

What are the odds the Heat repeat next year?

Not good, without some major retooling. Shaq and Zo are at the point of their careers when they will start aging in dog years. Their bench is still terrible--the only game the bench truly came through on was Game 6. GP, who hit two HUGE shots for Miami in the series, will either retire this offseason or will not ever do that again. They still have a top five talent in the NBA in DWade, so of course, they'll be right up there--without question top 2 or 3 teams in the East--but they definitely do not need to stand pat to win another title.

What do the Mavs need to do this offseason?

Not much, you might be surprised to hear. They need to resign Jason Terry. Don't get cute and start thinking you can do better--pony up and give him the money per year he wants, only for four years and not the six he's wanting. That should get him back. I'd love for them to move Stackhouse for someone more consistent, but no one gettable is coming to my mind. They need to either keep him or find someone better, so they'll probably end up keeping him.

The one thing I would change is make a huge push to sign Sam Cassell. I don't think it's going to be possible--Sam still wants lots of money, and we won't have lots of money under the cap to give him. But the only real "hole" I can see on this team is a true point guard who can hit a jumper in the clutch. Sam would be perfect to fill that hole.

Where does Dirk stand after these Finals?

It's amazing that a player can shoot almost 50%, have 29 points, 15 rebounds, and you can still be disappointed in his performance. However, that's exactly what happened here. I really hate to say this, as this is one of the worst insults I can give a player, but Dirk reminded me of Chris Webber in the fourth quarter. He was without question hiding from the ball. I don't think it's because he's a coward like Webber is/was, however. I think Dirk just finally ran out of gas. I think that Dirk has finally reached the point in his career where he needs to think about the amount of time he spends playing basketball in a year--meaning not as many international tournaments, and not as many minutes during the regular season. There's no way he can be as clutch as he was against the Spurs and Suns and then say he's a Chris Webber/Karl Malone type performer--he was just too good when it mattered then. I think he just finally wore out, and he needs to think of that during the season next year. Or rather, Avery does.

Where does Avery stand after these finals?

Avery went from "it's impossible that a first year coach can be this good" to "wow he's making a lot of rookie mistakes" overnight. He really did not do a good coaching job in the Finals. It wasn't that Pat Riley outcoached him, he really hurt himself. I think the pressure finally got to him a little and he freaked out a little bit. It's understandable. I think he's like the rest of the Mavs--he'll learn from this experience and be more prepared next time.

Is the fact that the Heat won a setback to the NBA's revitalization like The Sports Guy is afraid it is?

Probably not. Like I said, this was a vindictive Finals, and I think most teams in the league are smart enough to realize that. Plus there are enough elite teams--the Mavs, Suns, Clippers, etc.--that are committed to playing a team oriented, uptempo style that have that nucleus set up for the next few years. They're not changing. I don't expect Rileyball or The Superstar Treatment to totally set in again like it did in the mid to late 90's.

However, the NBA needs to realize that they can't let that set in. The Mob isn't totally stupid, and it reaches a point where it realizes it's been had. Fans have watched the Lakers, Spurs, and now Heat be guided by the league over the years to playoff wins they didn't deserve, and are getting restless about it. If the NBA keeps that up AND goes back to the unentertaining style of play that gave them such a bad rep during the period mentioned above, they are going to lose a LOT of fans, and slip back into third place of The Big Three Sports. You can only screw over the people so long before they push back, or in this case, take their dollar elsewhere.

So congratulations Miami. You are the 2006 NBA Champions. I just wish I could be more excited about it.

Coupla Things...

* You know something that's always bothered me? The whole "my husband/wife is my best friend" thing. I blame this totally on Tim McGraw for that stupid song he and Faith Hill did when I was in college (creatively titled, You're my best friend). Here's why I have a problem with this: it's insulting to marriage and your other. How? I'll tell you how. I've been blessed with a lot of good friends in this world. I even have a best friend, Kyle Holmes, who's my boy and who I love. But you know what? As great a friend and person as Kyle is, that still doesn't put him on par with the love I have for my brothers. I literally love my brothers more than anyone in the world--even Kyle. But you know what? Someday I'm going to fall in love again, and want to spend the rest of my life with that person. And then my brothers--who I still love so much--are going to have to take a backseat to my wife.

That's why that drives me crazy. It's insulting to the Sacrament of Marriage, and to the person you're supposed to love and cherish over anyone on Earth. So if you're just "best friends" with someone...then don't get married. You're not ready yet. You're just causing the divorce rate to go up.

* You know what the saddest part of this story is to me? That they had to put the lioness down. Make sure you look at the links on the bottom, too. They're hilarious as well.

* Now I'm not a wrestling fan. But of course, while in college, I watched a few wrestling matches when Stone Cold was at his zenith and The Rock was starting to peak. So I'm flipping through the channels the other day and see some mostly naked chicks in white dumping water on each other.

Of course I took a moment out of my busy schedule to check this out. :-)

Anyway, so it's two women wrestling, which I guess female wrestlers who are attractive instead of scary--like China was--is the latest WWF gimmic. So these women start really wrestling after they get done hosing each other down, and were absolutely TERRIBLE. Just horrible. They were embarrasingly bad. I mean, of course wrestling is fake, but at least the male wrestlers make it look somewhat convincing. These ladies weren't even close.

My point: man you know you're fifteen minutes are done when all you've got left is soft-core porn to throw out there.

* Here's a really funny joke Bob told me that will cause you to never look at these people the same way again:

Q: What do you ask a rollerblader?
A: Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?

I guarentee you, from now on whenever you see a guy rollerblading, you'll think to yourself, "Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?" And no, I don't really think that, it's just funny.

* So congratulations this year to:

! Barry & Robin F
! David & Mindy Dulaney
! Carson & Brande Kettner
! John & Lynn Schofield
! Tim & Sherry Miller
! Jason & Kate Speakes

All are having children this year. The Miller's and Speakes' babies are due on the same day. In other words, I will not have sex the rest of the year (I mean, not that I was in the first place...ummm...hehe...yeah, this is awkward, let's just move on...) since this is The Year of the Baby. Beware! All of you who are not trying to have kids (all of these couples were, of course), you have been forewarned!

Obviously the strain of my friends all having kids at once has driven me mad.

* I've decided that there might not be anything in the world right now that makes me angrier than the Wright Amendement. More on that next week after a resolution is reached between the cities of Dallas and Fort Worth.

* Congratulations! We now have--without question--the worst government agency ever: FEMA. Did you see that those morons gave away $1.4 billion in fradulent Katrina claims? Hey, of course you're going to have fradulent claims that get through. I wouldn't even bat an eye at $10 million. $100 million would bother me, but it wouldn't surprise me. But over one billion? See, this is why we need to do what the military used to do, and execute people for gross incompetence. How great would that work? Look at it this way: we wouldn't have to try Ken Lay and Schilling (the Enron directors recently convicted) for the crimes they committed, we could save the time and effort from the trial and just execute them for their gross incompetence! This could work!

* I could say something here, but I think this blurb from MSNBC.com speaks for itself:

What on earth was Jenna Elfman referring to when she asked film director John Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?" The "Keeping the Faith" star reportedly asked the question of Roecker when she saw him wearing a T-shirt mocking her religion, Scientology. "It's one of the questions Scientologists are asked by Scientology leaders when they've misbehaved," a source familiar with the religion explains.

* On second thought, I can't resist: ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD XENU!!!

* World Cup's on. Yay.

* Here's another rule I'm going to make regarding marriage: if I have to do this to get my girlfriend to marry me, then maybe we're not quite ready for marriage yet.

* Finally, thoughts on Game 3 and the upcoming Game 4 tonight:

This is almost sad, really. It's very anticlimactic. We go from two great teams to this. Watching Game 3 was like watching the Mavs play any other mediocre team: they fucked around the first half, got a big lead the second half, and tried to coast it in the rest of the way. They forgot that DWade is a true star, but as Kobe has proved since Shaq left, one true star alone does not make a team. I expected the Quote of the Day was true, and was happy when Ric Bucher confirmed it last night. I think a very motivated Mavs team wants to establish their dominance, and beats the Hell out of the Heat tonight--winning by at least 20.

Heat fans: I don't mean to dog on you, but come on. I'm not down with the "let's wear white!" thing. That's a cheap rip of A&M, and I think it's corny when they do it, too. Also, you know you're beaten when your team has yet to play a home game, but your fans are already showing up with signs that say "I still believe" like they're down 3-0. Poor Miami...they're trying to be good fans, but they just can't quite pull it off. I give them credit for trying though.

Do you realize that Dampier is totally outplaying Shaq in this series? Yeah...I can't believe I just wrote that either.

Here's some Mav's wallpaper for ya:



Remember everybody...the NBA...it's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC! GO MAVS!!!

Villains: 10 to 1

We've been very adult here lately. Lots of sports issues, political/social topics, & coupla things dealing with the wild and crazy world around us. Well, it's time to get back to our "lighter" side, our childish side, our nerdy side. And to do that, I felt like it was unfair to have a top 40 heroes list and not name any villains at all. So let's correct that: here are my top ten greatest villains.

Dishonorable Mention: Mister Sinister, M. Bison, Shang Tsung, Queen Bavmorda, Naraku, Agent Smith, Dracula, Anubis (Stargate), Venom, Shredder, Doomsday.


10. Jenner (The Secret of Nimh): I honestly believe that you won't run into a more dark, a more evil, a more cunning, a more affective, and a scarier villain than Jenner under the age of 10. Perfectly drawn throughout the movie to appear more sinister, more powerful, and more devious than any other character (as a child you believe that he could beat Dragon if he put his mind to it), the scariest thing about Jenner is that you honestly don't believe he can lose. He's just too good at what he does.


9. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th series): I love the Friday the 13th movies. I swear that they make those movies by going to a room, sitting around a large office table, as the producer then says, "Okay, tell me the strangest ways you can think of to kill a human being" as the room then bursts into heated and frantic conversation. Trust me, in my head, it's a funny scene.

But funny as that may be, one cannot deny Jason's body of work. Or bodies of work. Jason kills without discrimination, without a real reason, or without a real purpose. And he's damn good at what he does. Combine that with the fact that he's nigh unbeatable, and he is truly the king of the slashers, and has earned a place in the top ten.


8. Shockwave (Transformers): Cold. Unfeeling. Logical. Patient. Unflinching. Ruthless. Unreasonable. Effective. Shockwave is the machine that mankind fears--he is evil not with emotion, but simply because that is what he is: evil. One of the most powerful Transformers ever in both his robot and Cybertronian state--an incredibly powerful ray gun--he is second in command of the Decepticons, behind only Megatron himself...and many believe that he is even more powerful than Megatron. Shockwave is similar to a brilliant scientist, except that his thesis is the destruction of his enemies and the subjugation of Cybertron and Earth. Whatever his goals, Shockwave is totally driven to achieving them, and nothing--least of all any emotion--will stand in his way.


7. Randall Flagg (Stephen King's universe): So many names...all the same man. While he is a servant of the Devil, Randall Flagg--The Walkin' Dude, The Man in Black, Walter o'Dim, The Ageless Stranger, Walter Padick, and any number of R.F. names--is the personification of evil in Stephen King's universe. He is the one that is bringing about the destruction of countless worlds, up to and including the Dark Tower itself. There is no evil that Flagg won't perform, no trick he won't pull, no limit to his means. He is driven to destroy, and has the means both supernatural and scientific to pull off his dark and twisted schemes. He is evil incarnate, and what makes it even more frightening is that he begins as a man, just like we all did.


6. The Borg (Star Trek series):

We are the Borg. Lower your shields and power down your weapons. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

There is no more feared greeting in the Star Trek universe. Since Q introduced the Next Generation's crew to The Borg, they have been the single greatest threat to the universe--even moreso than the Dominion. A collective mind that conquers, adds, and eliminates any race or culture it finds, it is groupthink truly gone mad. It is the "perfect utopian" society that madmen such as Hitler have strived for. Like Shockwave, they are not destroying you, your people, and your culture over any feelings or hate--they are assimilating you because that is what they do. And that makes them both powerful and evil.


5. Sauron (The Lord of the Rings): Similar to Randall Flagg, Sauron is a servant to the greatest evil--Morgoth--but makes this list for being the true architect of destruction that we come to know in the LOTR. Sauron is the lord of Mordor, and the creator of The One Ring, the one ring to dominate and rule all the other great rings of Middle Earth. Sauron seeks to dominate the will of all creatures of Middle Earth. Total and complete power is what Sauron craves, and he has the will and the means to achieve that goal. Whether appearing as a noble and beautiful Valar or a twisted spirit of blackness, Sauron is truly one of the evilest beings ever.


4. Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious (Star Wars): Palpatine was correct: he was the greatest Dark Lord of the Sith ever. Like Sauron, Lord Sidious was totally committed to the Sith dream of ruling the galaxy absolutely and dominating the will of all beings within completely. Unlike Sauron, The Emperor accomplished his goal for a time. Through treachery, guile, and an incredible knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force, Palpatine was able to conquer the Republic and establish his Empire, and to almost completely destroy the Jedi Order. This wizened and feeble-looking old man was one of the most powerful and evil forces ever.


3. Megatron (Transformers): To kill the greatest hero ever, surely you must be one of the greatest villains ever. You've earned your place, leader of the Decepticons. Megatron and Hitler (the evilest person ever) to me both shared a similar "style" for lack of a better word: both were chaotically insane, filled with hate, and prone to what appeared to be uncontrollable rages--yet there was always a method to their madness, a consistent rationale to the pure evil that they inflicted on the worlds around them. That is what made Megatron so frightening as a villain: he had the unbridled power of the insane, yet the will and clarity to channel it in the right direction and use it accordingly. Such a combination was rare, and truly deadly.


2. Apocalypse (X-Men): The greatest villain in the Marvel universe. I seriously considered putting Apocalypse as 1B instead of 2, as he is truly one of my favorite villains of all time.

En Sabah Nur is the world's first mutant, and undeniably one of it's most powerful. His natural power is a metamorph--he can alter his mass into almost any form, and he is immortal. On top of this, Apocalypse discovered a ship from the alien race the Celestials that also granted him immense power.

Apocalypse believes in "survival of the fittest", meaning that anything too weak to survive must be culled. Unfortunately, that means the entire human race and most of the mutant population. Apocalypse has succeeded in conquering the world in the Marvel universe several different times, and even almost destroyed the universe itself in order to rebuild it in his own image (Beyond Good & Evil, the greatest cartoon series ever). Marvel did an alternate universe comic series entitled Age of Apocalypse that is arguably the best comics series ever, in which Apocalypse conquers the Western Hemisphere.

Not only is Apocalypse incredibly powerful and horribly evil, but there is an inherent nobility to him that adds to his presence. Apocalypse believes that he is destined to rule the world, and that it is simply a matter of time before he does so. This icy, calm demeanor and noble arrogance add both to his evil nature and his aura of invincibility. Apocalypse is one of the greatest villains any universe has ever known--and he is well aware of this fact.


1. Darkseid (Superman): Narrowly beats out Apocalypse because I think that Darkseid is slightly more powerful. Maybe. Possibly. Anyway, Darkseid is the ruler--god, really--of Apokolips, which he attained by assassinating his own mother. He seeks to rule the entire universe by discovering the Anti-Life Equation, which will allow him to suppress all free will in the universe. He is the most powerful enemy of Superman, but his power is such that he is really the enemy of all characters in the DC Universe.

Darkseid has strength, stamina, and speed on par with Superman. However, his most powerful weapon is his Omega Beam: two beams of red light he fires out of his eyes. These can do almost anything: transform matter, teleport an individual wherever Darkseid wishes, create life, or destroy an individual entirely.


Darkseid is truly evil incarnate. He rarely gets outwardly angry or upset, in spite of the unbridled rage that exists inside him. Darkseid sees himself as an honorable ruler, but never lets his sense of "honor" get in the way of his lust for power. Like the Devil, Darkseid takes special pleasure in seeing the "good" guys brought low through moral dilemmas or sacrifices they are forced to make, in order to watch them suffer and forced to face potential evil of their own actions. He honestly sees himself as a god, and expects to be deified as such. Somewhat sadly, he rules the Hell-like world of Apokolips so completely that the people of that world do see him as a god. To rule the universe by totally and completely removing free will is his right and destiny, and like Apocalypse in Marvel, he sees it as only a matter of time before he succeeds in this task.

Thoughts on the NBA Finals: Game 1

Today's quote is for you, Miami.

Last night was like watching an overly polite host argue with an overly polite guest.

Host: "Please, I insist: go ahead and take the game."
Guest: "Oh no, I couldn't possibly."
Host: "No no no...I insist. I want you to have it."
Guest: "I thank you, but I just couldn't. I really wouldn't feel right."
Host: "But please! You simply must take it! It's only proper."
Guest: "Really, I must decline. I know how much it means to you; I just would not feel right."
Host: "Are you absolutely sure?"
Guest: "Positive. It would make me happy if you took it."
Host: "Well...if you insist..."
Guest: "I do. Please enjoy!"

With the exception of Jason Terry and maybe Erik Dampier (I know, I can't believe I just wrote that either), everyone on the Mavs had a bad game last night. In spite of that, the Heat still couldn't beat us--and they had a better game than people realize. Walker had a good game, they did a great job on the offensive boards, and Shaq & DWade shot 53% from the field. In other words, this was Miami's best opportunity to win a game at home from the Mavs, and they could not do it.

Again, that's what surprises me so much about the pundits who picked Miami. This team is just not that good. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Shaq is a 20-10 guy now, not a 30-15 guy. While statistically that does not look like a big difference, in basketball terms it is a huge difference--especially when the rest of your team sucks. You might see one, maybe two "monster" games out of Shaq in a 7 game series at this point in the playoffs, but he's just too old and worn down to put up any more than that. People get old. It happens. Accept it.

And I don't want to hear any "well, Miami will never shoot 37% from the free throw line again! I just can't believe that happened!" Yes, it will. It's happened before--they shot 30% against the Pistons in one game, so it can get even worse--and it will happen again. When something happens once, it's a fluke. When something happens again, then it's reality, and when two of your starters--Shaq and Toine--shot 47% and 63% from the line, respectively, then you're usually going to shoot around 50-60% as a team--which is not good, especially when you're playing a team that shoots 75% from the line on a bad night.

Last night was interesting, in that you didn't truly know what to expect, which has been unusual. Dallas has played San Antonio and Phoenix so many times this season/over the years, that you know how the teams match up, who has to stick who, which team has to establish their style of play, etc. You knew what each team needed to do to win; it was just a question of who was going to do what was needed.

But Dallas only plays Miami twice a year, and it's safe to say that the Miami team Dallas played early in the season is not the same team that is playing now. You had a general idea of how the games would play itself out, but you didn't really know what was going to happen. Well, now we have an idea, and it's confirming what I thought before the series: Shaq and DWade--maybe even Toine if he gets really hot one night--can come together and have a really monster game, and win one or two games. And I mean monster games. But aside from that happening, Miami cannot beat Dallas. They just can't. They're just not that good. And Shaq and DWade just aren't good enough to have 4 of the monster games they need to have to win the series. Shaq is too old, and DWade is too young. It's almost sad, because I like Miami--I love Shaq and DWade, and if they weren't playing Dallas, I'd probably be rooting for them. But these are the facts--and they are irrefutable.

Go Mavs!

15 Years.

I've been waiting 15 years for this moment.

That may not sound like a long time to some people. But it seemed like a long time to me.

The Dallas Mavericks defeated the Phoenix Suns 102-93 on Saturday, and won the Western Conference Championship. The Mavs will now play the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals.

That's right. The Mavs are in the NBA Finals.

I remember when I was in 7th grade, and became interested in basketball. I started to watch the Mavs on TV. This was not an easy thing to do: no one in my family watched--really watches--sports on TV. I was reduced to watching the 13" screen TV in Mom and Dad's room. I'm pretty sure we didn't get ESPN back there, so the only sports I could watch were the local channels--ie your Dallas Mavericks on what would today be the UPN.

This was in 1991. This was not a good year to become a Mavs fan. The Mavs won a whopping 22 games that year. Sadly, this would be one of the better teams I'd see for a while. In 1992 we won 11 games, literally winning the last two games of the season so as not to tie the mark of the worst record in the history of the NBA. Next year wasn't much better, as they won only 13 games.

However, I watched as many games as I could. I loved it. I loved cheering the home team on, and watching the players play, and learning how to play, and how not to play. I learned the evils of drug use as I watched Roy Tarpley kill our team through his selfishness. I learned the meaning of hoping against hope, as I got excited when the Mavs traded for dregs like Tony Campbell (he averaged 22 a game once!). I learned the meaning of the word "business" as I watched Jim Jackson sit out for over half a season. I learned how to play basketball, by watching a team desperate for any win try so many different styles of play, desperately hoping to find one that worked. I learned the value of hard work, guts, passion, and love, and I learned the value of talent.

I learned to love three things that would affect me for the rest of my life: basketball, my city, and my team.

I learned a lot watching that 13" screen TV.

Anyone who knows me knows what a huge impact the game of basketball has had on my life. That's the first thing that comes to mind if you were to ask me who I am: I'm a basketball player. Have been since 7th grade, and always will be. Watching those games not only helped teach me my love, but also helped me to love my city, my town, my hood. This was my home, and I loved it here, and I wanted it to be represented as well as possible. Which meant I rooted for my team, my club, my squad--they represented my city, they represented me, and I wanted them to represent us well.

Just like in life, there have been good times and bad times over the years with my Mavericks. And just like in life, there are those great times: those fantastic moments, the "once in a lifetime experiences" that you remember forever.

I'm grateful that I'm at a point in my life where I can appreciate such a moment as it happens now.

***

Of course, predictions.

Mavs in 6. To be honest, I'm surprised at the amount of pub the Heat are getting. I'm happy about that--as you know, I believe that if too many people think one team will win, it quite often doesn't happen. But seriously, let's just take a look at who's get the edge in probably lineups:
Devin Harris v Jason Williams: Slight edge to Williams. Very slight. Almost even.
Josh Howard v Dwayne Wade: Edge to Wade, of course, but not a major edge. Wade has said that no one in the league D's him up better than Howard, and Howard will make him work offensively.
Jason Terry v James Posey: Edge to Terry, possibly major. Even though Posey is bigger, he is not an offensive threat at all, so it's not a problem for Terry to stick him. And while he's a good defender, he's not near quick enough to hang with Terry.
Dirk v Antoine Walker/Udonis Haslem: I was reading someone earlier talk about Haslem would be the toughest matchup Dirk faced in the playoffs. The fucking media man...they amaze me sometimes. I love it when people try to talk themselves into something. So after facing Pau Gasol, Eddie Jones, Bruce Bowen, Tim Duncan, Shawn Marion, and Tim Thomas, you're telling me that Udonis Haslem is going to be Dirk's toughest matchup yet? Hey man, I had Haslem on my fantasy league team last year. But come ON. And I laugh in the face of Toine (as I always do). MAJOR edge Dirk.
Shaq v Eric Dampier: Major edge Shaq, of course. However, not near as much as it has been in the past, as people seem to be forgetting.
Bench: RIDICULOUSLY MAJOR EDGE to the Mavs. Wow. It's pathetic. Do the Heat have a bench other than Zo? No, Payton does not count--I'd rather have Darrell Armstrong than him, and I can't believe I just wrote that. Here's a good question: Does Shaq have a major edge over Damp/Diop/Mbenga (when he gets back)? Probably not. Who on the Heat matches up with Stackhouse (when he's on)? Griffin? Daniels, who I think should be playing more? What if KVH gives you something?

Sorry guys. I think Mavs in 6. Shaq and Wade can't carry a team that far by themselves. Remember, they haven't played a quality team yet, since the Pistons decided to just pee all over themselves instead of coming to play. So get ready Dallas...we should be celebrating our first NBA championship soon.

GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PJ's Place is for da children.

Coupla personal/site remarks:

* Have you heard of Junior Achievement? It's a fantastic program that sends professional adults out to teach kids. I taught a group of 7th graders last year at a Middle School in Oak Cliff (and learned that there is a BIG difference between summer school and summer camp :-) Anyway, I'm the captain of a Bowl-A-Thon team to benefit JA, and I need your help raising donations for this great cause!

Click here to get to my Bowl-A-Thon JA page. You can give donations there. Even if it's just $5 or $10, it would be greatly appreciated. You all know that I don't get behind the "asking for money" causes very often, but this is a really good one.

And if you don't do it, then you support Puffy and obviously hate children. And that makes Baby Jesus cry. You don't want to make Baby Jesus cry, do you?

* I've added a coupla new links to "My boys" and have even been forced to rename it "My boys (and girl)", as one of the new blogs is done by a woman. See, I told you I don't hate women. Anyway, my buddies Stewart and Susan both have blogs, and you should check them out. Yo.

* One last thing that's not quite deserving of it's own post, but I had to comment on regardless. Did you see that Lance has been cleared of doping allegations? Shockingly, there were discrepancies found in the handling of the samples! And researches violated protocol by releasing info to the media! Some even got suspended. Wow. I'm shocked that this would happen. I really had faith in our French brethren to be honest and objective when dealing with the greatest cyclist in the history of the world--who happened to be American.

Anyway, thanks a lot, and please help out with Junior Achievement!