Coupla Things...
* You know something that's always bothered me? The whole "my husband/wife is my best friend" thing. I blame this totally on Tim McGraw for that stupid song he and Faith Hill did when I was in college (creatively titled, You're my best friend). Here's why I have a problem with this: it's insulting to marriage and your other. How? I'll tell you how. I've been blessed with a lot of good friends in this world. I even have a best friend, Kyle Holmes, who's my boy and who I love. But you know what? As great a friend and person as Kyle is, that still doesn't put him on par with the love I have for my brothers. I literally love my brothers more than anyone in the world--even Kyle. But you know what? Someday I'm going to fall in love again, and want to spend the rest of my life with that person. And then my brothers--who I still love so much--are going to have to take a backseat to my wife.
That's why that drives me crazy. It's insulting to the Sacrament of Marriage, and to the person you're supposed to love and cherish over anyone on Earth. So if you're just "best friends" with someone...then don't get married. You're not ready yet. You're just causing the divorce rate to go up.
* You know what the saddest part of this story is to me? That they had to put the lioness down. Make sure you look at the links on the bottom, too. They're hilarious as well.
* Now I'm not a wrestling fan. But of course, while in college, I watched a few wrestling matches when Stone Cold was at his zenith and The Rock was starting to peak. So I'm flipping through the channels the other day and see some mostly naked chicks in white dumping water on each other.
Of course I took a moment out of my busy schedule to check this out. :-)
Anyway, so it's two women wrestling, which I guess female wrestlers who are attractive instead of scary--like China was--is the latest WWF gimmic. So these women start really wrestling after they get done hosing each other down, and were absolutely TERRIBLE. Just horrible. They were embarrasingly bad. I mean, of course wrestling is fake, but at least the male wrestlers make it look somewhat convincing. These ladies weren't even close.
My point: man you know you're fifteen minutes are done when all you've got left is soft-core porn to throw out there.
* Here's a really funny joke Bob told me that will cause you to never look at these people the same way again:
Q: What do you ask a rollerblader?
A: Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?
I guarentee you, from now on whenever you see a guy rollerblading, you'll think to yourself, "Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?" And no, I don't really think that, it's just funny.
* So congratulations this year to:
All are having children this year. The Miller's and Speakes' babies are due on the same day. In other words, I will not have sex the rest of the year (I mean, not that I was in the first place...ummm...hehe...yeah, this is awkward, let's just move on...) since this is The Year of the Baby. Beware! All of you who are not trying to have kids (all of these couples were, of course), you have been forewarned!
Obviously the strain of my friends all having kids at once has driven me mad.
* I've decided that there might not be anything in the world right now that makes me angrier than the Wright Amendement. More on that next week after a resolution is reached between the cities of Dallas and Fort Worth.
* Congratulations! We now have--without question--the worst government agency ever: FEMA. Did you see that those morons gave away $1.4 billion in fradulent Katrina claims? Hey, of course you're going to have fradulent claims that get through. I wouldn't even bat an eye at $10 million. $100 million would bother me, but it wouldn't surprise me. But over one billion? See, this is why we need to do what the military used to do, and execute people for gross incompetence. How great would that work? Look at it this way: we wouldn't have to try Ken Lay and Schilling (the Enron directors recently convicted) for the crimes they committed, we could save the time and effort from the trial and just execute them for their gross incompetence! This could work!
* I could say something here, but I think this blurb from MSNBC.com speaks for itself:
* On second thought, I can't resist: ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD XENU!!!
* World Cup's on. Yay.
* Here's another rule I'm going to make regarding marriage: if I have to do this to get my girlfriend to marry me, then maybe we're not quite ready for marriage yet.
* Finally, thoughts on Game 3 and the upcoming Game 4 tonight:
This is almost sad, really. It's very anticlimactic. We go from two great teams to this. Watching Game 3 was like watching the Mavs play any other mediocre team: they fucked around the first half, got a big lead the second half, and tried to coast it in the rest of the way. They forgot that DWade is a true star, but as Kobe has proved since Shaq left, one true star alone does not make a team. I expected the Quote of the Day was true, and was happy when Ric Bucher confirmed it last night. I think a very motivated Mavs team wants to establish their dominance, and beats the Hell out of the Heat tonight--winning by at least 20.
Heat fans: I don't mean to dog on you, but come on. I'm not down with the "let's wear white!" thing. That's a cheap rip of A&M, and I think it's corny when they do it, too. Also, you know you're beaten when your team has yet to play a home game, but your fans are already showing up with signs that say "I still believe" like they're down 3-0. Poor Miami...they're trying to be good fans, but they just can't quite pull it off. I give them credit for trying though.
Do you realize that Dampier is totally outplaying Shaq in this series? Yeah...I can't believe I just wrote that either.
Here's some Mav's wallpaper for ya:
Remember everybody...the NBA...it's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC! GO MAVS!!!
That's why that drives me crazy. It's insulting to the Sacrament of Marriage, and to the person you're supposed to love and cherish over anyone on Earth. So if you're just "best friends" with someone...then don't get married. You're not ready yet. You're just causing the divorce rate to go up.
* You know what the saddest part of this story is to me? That they had to put the lioness down. Make sure you look at the links on the bottom, too. They're hilarious as well.
* Now I'm not a wrestling fan. But of course, while in college, I watched a few wrestling matches when Stone Cold was at his zenith and The Rock was starting to peak. So I'm flipping through the channels the other day and see some mostly naked chicks in white dumping water on each other.
Of course I took a moment out of my busy schedule to check this out. :-)
Anyway, so it's two women wrestling, which I guess female wrestlers who are attractive instead of scary--like China was--is the latest WWF gimmic. So these women start really wrestling after they get done hosing each other down, and were absolutely TERRIBLE. Just horrible. They were embarrasingly bad. I mean, of course wrestling is fake, but at least the male wrestlers make it look somewhat convincing. These ladies weren't even close.
My point: man you know you're fifteen minutes are done when all you've got left is soft-core porn to throw out there.
* Here's a really funny joke Bob told me that will cause you to never look at these people the same way again:
Q: What do you ask a rollerblader?
A: Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?
I guarentee you, from now on whenever you see a guy rollerblading, you'll think to yourself, "Was it hard to tell your parents you're gay?" And no, I don't really think that, it's just funny.
* So congratulations this year to:
! Barry & Robin F
! David & Mindy Dulaney
! Carson & Brande Kettner
! John & Lynn Schofield
! Tim & Sherry Miller
! Jason & Kate Speakes
All are having children this year. The Miller's and Speakes' babies are due on the same day. In other words, I will not have sex the rest of the year (I mean, not that I was in the first place...ummm...hehe...yeah, this is awkward, let's just move on...) since this is The Year of the Baby. Beware! All of you who are not trying to have kids (all of these couples were, of course), you have been forewarned!
Obviously the strain of my friends all having kids at once has driven me mad.
* I've decided that there might not be anything in the world right now that makes me angrier than the Wright Amendement. More on that next week after a resolution is reached between the cities of Dallas and Fort Worth.
* Congratulations! We now have--without question--the worst government agency ever: FEMA. Did you see that those morons gave away $1.4 billion in fradulent Katrina claims? Hey, of course you're going to have fradulent claims that get through. I wouldn't even bat an eye at $10 million. $100 million would bother me, but it wouldn't surprise me. But over one billion? See, this is why we need to do what the military used to do, and execute people for gross incompetence. How great would that work? Look at it this way: we wouldn't have to try Ken Lay and Schilling (the Enron directors recently convicted) for the crimes they committed, we could save the time and effort from the trial and just execute them for their gross incompetence! This could work!
* I could say something here, but I think this blurb from MSNBC.com speaks for itself:
What on earth was Jenna Elfman referring to when she asked film director John Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?" The "Keeping the Faith" star reportedly asked the question of Roecker when she saw him wearing a T-shirt mocking her religion, Scientology. "It's one of the questions Scientologists are asked by Scientology leaders when they've misbehaved," a source familiar with the religion explains.
* On second thought, I can't resist: ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD XENU!!!
* World Cup's on. Yay.
* Here's another rule I'm going to make regarding marriage: if I have to do this to get my girlfriend to marry me, then maybe we're not quite ready for marriage yet.
* Finally, thoughts on Game 3 and the upcoming Game 4 tonight:
This is almost sad, really. It's very anticlimactic. We go from two great teams to this. Watching Game 3 was like watching the Mavs play any other mediocre team: they fucked around the first half, got a big lead the second half, and tried to coast it in the rest of the way. They forgot that DWade is a true star, but as Kobe has proved since Shaq left, one true star alone does not make a team. I expected the Quote of the Day was true, and was happy when Ric Bucher confirmed it last night. I think a very motivated Mavs team wants to establish their dominance, and beats the Hell out of the Heat tonight--winning by at least 20.
Heat fans: I don't mean to dog on you, but come on. I'm not down with the "let's wear white!" thing. That's a cheap rip of A&M, and I think it's corny when they do it, too. Also, you know you're beaten when your team has yet to play a home game, but your fans are already showing up with signs that say "I still believe" like they're down 3-0. Poor Miami...they're trying to be good fans, but they just can't quite pull it off. I give them credit for trying though.
Do you realize that Dampier is totally outplaying Shaq in this series? Yeah...I can't believe I just wrote that either.
Here's some Mav's wallpaper for ya:
Remember everybody...the NBA...it's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC! GO MAVS!!!
posted by Michael Pondrom at 11:02 PM
6 Comments:
No Podkolzin????
I'll be interested to see the post now that Miami just dogged Dallas by 25. And Dampier v Shaq isn't a fair comparison. Dampier isn't getting double and triple teamed.... and last I checked, Shaq STILL had like 6ppg more and only 0.5rpg less.
Tone-Loc
you forgot Queen Bavmorda. She deserves a top 10 spot. or at LEAST an honorable mention
Tone-Loc
just kidding... gross oversight on my part. she DID make dishonorable mention. good call
Do you think Riley winning another championship would set back the game of basketball like it did in the eighties? Would we lose the free-flowing game of the Suns? Would the NBA revert back to '90s Knicks style?
If it does I'll have to hunt Riley down and kill him. I don't think so...but who knows? I would hope that coaches and GM's are smart enough to know that if Miami does win, they won because David Stern didn't want to give the trophy to Mark Cuban, not because Miami is a better team.
Got your back T.
Michael
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