The Fight: Pacers versus Pistons

This wasn't unbelievable...this was inevitable.

Before we get into the ramifications, here's what happened for the few who don't know:

The Indiana Pacers were playing the Detroit Pistons in Detroit. With 50 seconds left in the game, Ron Artest (6'7", 250) fouled Big Ben Wallace (listed at 6'9" 240, but I doubt that...he's got to weigh more than that) hard. Not dirty, but hard. Ben shoved Ron Artest, who backed away from Ben so a fight would not break out. Eventually, he laid down on the scorers table and put his hands behind his head. The Pacers and the Pistons gathered around, and some shoving ensued--Stephen Jackson of the Pacers went particularly crazy--but nothing too bad happened. Things started to die down between the two teams.

At this point, a fan about 5 rows deep threw a full cup of beer at Ron Artest, hitting him in the head as he lay on the scorers table.

Ron Ron immediately got up, jumped into about the third row of the stands, jumped into the fifth row, grabbed the guy who threw the beer at him (reporters who saw the guy throw the beer confirmed that Ron Artest did get the right guy), and started to beat the shit out of him.

At this point, the guy's friends--four or five of them--grabbed Artest and drug him down. Then the Pacers entered the stands. Stephen Jackson grabbed one of the guys grabbing Artest and started to beat the shit out of him. David Harrison grabbed Artest and started to drag him towards the court. Jermaine O'Neal started to beat up one of the assailants. More fans began throwing drinks at the players.

Eventually, the players made it back to the court. However, several fans had made their way on to the court, and started physically and verbally abusing players. The players then started to beat the shit out of the fans on the court. The entire time, fans in the seats are throwing whatever they can get their hands on at the Pacers.

The coaches finally start guiding the players toward the locker room. Unfortuantely, the entrance to the locker room is by the bleachers. The Pacers were getting PELTED by almost everyone in the arena. O'Neal and Jackson again tried to get into the stands to get at some of the fans pelting them, but--fortunately for those fans--the blechers are raised at this section, and the players couldn't make it up to them.

On Sunday, David Stern suspended Ron Artest for the remainder of the season, Stephen Jackson for 30 games, and Jermaine O'Neal for 25 games. These are the three best players on the Indiana Pacers, and all suspensions are without pay. Ben Wallace was suspeneded for 6 games. There were a few other suspensions for one game for players leaving the bench.

Now...here's what I wrote in my NBA Eastern Conference Preview about the Pacers:
"Wow. This team has a chance to take over the Blazer’s title as “crackhead crazy team of the league”. Stephen Jackson, Ron Artest, and Jamaal Tinsley all on one team? Seriously? Through in Scott Pollard’s crackah ass? Wow! This is going to be awesome! "

Sorry...apparently I forgot to mention Jermaine O'Neal.

There are a couple things that it is important to note before we begin this conversation:

* Ron Artest has a history of violent behavior in the NBA. He is suspened for dirty play quite often. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that he is on steroids (the guy is huge, and I remember a few years back when he was just some skinny small forward). I believe the reason for his crazy behavior is Roid Rage. I hate Ron Artest.

* Stephen Jackson is, in my opinion, certifiably insane, and I can't stand him, either.

* Big Ben Wallace is one of the most popular and beloved figures in the NBA. He is HUGE. Literally a huge body of iron. However, he's a nice guy, and is seen as somewhat of a "lovable huggable bear" type of star...he's huge, but people love him because they feel they can trust him. I am also a fan of Big Ben.

* I support the suspensions...they were inevitable, they were going to be this long, you have to set an example. It doesn't matter. I thought Stephen Jackson's should have been longer, but I'm okay with it.

That being said, we can talk now.

I TOTALLY SUPPORT THE PLAYERS GOING INTO THE STANDS AND BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE FANS.

You might be surprised that I say that. But seriously people, let's not talk about legal issues or anything like that for a second. Let me just ask you a simple, common sense question:

Should you throw a drink at a man you know can kick your ass?

I mean, should you? Shouldn't you know better than to do that? Shouldn't your basic animanl instinct of self preservation tell you not to ATTACK a person who you know you cannot physically defend yourself from? What has happened here? I don't understand all the people who are saying it is the horrible players who are responsible here, and how could they do this horrible thing? What kind of society do we live in where a fan is the victim for ATTACKING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITHOUT PROVICATION? Isn't it just common sense not to do that? What am I missing here?

Let me ask everyone reading this a question: let's say you're at a party at someone's house, and someone smaller than you throws his drink--cup and all--in your face. While you're not looking. Almost hits you in the eye. What would you do? Is that person not grossly stupid? Is that person really a "victim" to whatever you decide to do? And are you really going to look me in the eye and tell me that there's no way you wouldn't hit that person? No way at all?

Sorry kids. Was it right for the players to attack the fans? No. They shouldn't have done that. You all know me...I'm 6'7" 240, and I'm pretty fucking strong. There are very few people I meet that I can't beat the shit out of. And how many fights have I been in in my life? Outside of my brothers :-)...1? 2? in my entire life? And those were in middle school. How many times in my life would I have been justified for getting in a fight? Many. But you don't do it. You take the high ground.

However, that being said, it doesn't mean there haven't been many times in my life that I had the right to beat someone up. There have been plenty of times when someone deserved to be beaten up by me. There have been plenty of times someone NEEDED to be beaten up by me. Just like those fans. The players shouldn't have fought them...but they deserved every fucking punch they took. If the DA in Detroit tries to prosecute the players involved, then he had better prosecute EVERY SINGLE FUCKING FAN WHO THREW SOMETHING. Every single one. You can find them on video. It's not that hard.

Also...to the NBA and all of professional sports...FUCK YOU TOO!

That's right. As I said, this was inevitable. How many attacks by fans have we seen in the last ten years? It's been getting worse, hasn't it? More and more and more fans are becoming more and more and more abusive. It's getting out of control. And what has any of the professional sports done about it? Nothing. Not a God damn thing. Monica Seles gets stabbed...what does tennis do? Throw one or two more security guards out there? Wow. You look at those matches; do you really feel like if someone had half a mind to get out there again, they would have any problem? Look at the NBA benches...is there any protection for players at all? Pro baseball? How easy is it for fans to get on the field? Ask the first base coach for Arizona Diamondbacks who was savagely beaten. Attacks--both verbal and physical--are becoming more and more savage and frequent. We're way past the point of some innocent heckling here people. Something must be done about fans.

And league's aren't doing anything. All they care about is getting people in the seats. THAT'S IT. We need some serious changes here, and the league's won't even condem fans behavior! And cities aren't doing enough about it either. I listened to ESPN's legal analyst this morning; the fans that STARTED this RIOT will probably just be charged with a misdemeanor, which means you pay a fine, MAYBE spend a couple of nights in jail--but more likely get some sort of probation or community service. But...that's only if the DA decides too charge them, which is highly unlikely!

So let me get this straight: we have a fan base that is growing increasingly more violent, hostile, and dangerous towards players and coaches, yet the sporting leagues will do nothing to protect the players, and the laws in place against the individual fans are way too lenient. So what I ask you is this: WHAT CHOICE DO THE PLAYERS HAVE? These human beings have the right to protect themselves. Since the leagues and civil authorities are not doing it, what else are the players supposed to do? Hence this being inevitable. Quite frankly, I'm glad this happened over a beer getting thrown. I'm glad it didn't wait until it got worse...until a player was somehow seriously injured, and then we notice that something needs to be done. Who knows though...like I said, Monica Seles--at the time one of the best tennis players in the world--was stabbed, and what the fuck have we done? What, does a player need to DIE before we admit that maybe the fans have a problem, and should be held accountable?

One last thing...alcohol. I loved the press conference where the NBA handed down suspensions, and blamed everything on the players and not the fans. One of the reporters asked David Stern about this, basically saying, "So, are you going to stop serving booze, since fans are getting drunk and attacking players?" To which David Stern dodged the question with a reply like "We're looking into the role alcohol played. Quick next question!" Meaning: "Bitch are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how much money we make off of alcohol sales? Hell will freeze over before we stop serving booze at a game!" Yet again proving as long as the fans are ponying up the dough, the leagues are content to pretty much let them do whatever they want.

So to anyone who wants to condem the players (and remember...I hate Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson. I would love to come out here and say that they are terrible people--they are--and are totally wrong. However, they are NOT wrong in this instance), I evoke the incontrovertable laws of common sense, and would like to remind you of this, my quote of the day:

If you don't want to get your ass beat, don't start a fight with a man who can obvioulsy beat the Hell out of you.

You see kids, if we all lived by that simple rule...then none of this would have happened.

KMart Buys Sears...or How The Might Have Fallen

Wow. Where to begin on this one.

KMart has $11 billion dollars? Seriously? Seriously? I thought they had gone out of business. And I don't mean that in a "haha, they are so pathetic I'm going to harass them and say they are out of business"; I mean, I really thought they went under. I know they filed for Chapter 11 3 or 4 years ago. I thought they closed up almost all their stores? Wow...they have $11 billion dollars? Seriously?

Sears...what in the Hell happened to you? Do you realize you just got bought by KMart? KMart? I think Wal Mart and Target keep them around just so they have a third person to beat on when they are sick of going toe to toe against each other. I didn't realize that Sears had fallen this far. I thought that they had done a good job of promoting the rest of their product lines (the rest being anything that doesn't say Craftsman on it)--Come See the Softer Side of Sears supposedly went over really well with women--but to be purchased by KMart is a huge blow.

This is a great deal for KMart. It will give them some legitimacy, and--quite frankly--I think their brand name is so poor right now, they might as well just drop it completely and go with Sears. They're taking on a lot of big names, however. Basically it is now KMart/Sears v. Lowes, Home Depot, Wal Mart, and Target. Those are some pretty big names. If they can attract a substantial minority from each of those retailers, this will be a huge success for them. However, if they find that people want to buy their specialty tools at Sears in the mall, and the rest of their home improvement items at HD or Lowes, and that the average retail shopper (Target/Wal Mart) isn't impressed with the Sears/Craftsman name and continues to not be impressed with KMart, then both companies are royally screwed.

In the end, I think the Craftsman name is strong enough to bring in a significant amount of the Home Improvement business, and with this, people will begin doing some more of their retail shopping at the new stores. It will take some time, but it will work. KMart/Sears just needs to make sure they don't favor one product line over the other...they need to have clean stores, good selection, and good prices in both areas, not one or the other. The main thing to remember is this will not happen quickly; it will take some time for people to get used to doing their Wal Mart/Target type shopping at Sears. Go with the Target model KMart; you want to be the Higher Quality mass retailer--this will work since Craftsman has such a high quality reputation already. Don't be the cheapest and messiest low cost leader like Wal Mart or, well, KMart. You tried that, and it didn't work. Try something new.

Mavs Update

Now that we’re 8 games into the Mavs season—and they are 7-1—it’s definitely time for our first Mavs Update.

I’m so happy with this team. They remind me of the team I feel in love with four years ago: an uptempo young team who just goes out and plays hard every night, and is damn good too. That’s not exactly what they are, but at least that’s what they remind me off. Last year they had too many older me first guys whose games weren’t quite comfortable in the half court, but were too old to run up and down all game. And we know what kind of defense they played. Now they have turned into…
 A team of young, quick, and talented guards/small forwards. Devin Harris, Josh Howard, Marquis Daniels, and Jason Terry have just looked fantastic out there. They go out, play hard at both ends of the floor, don’t try to do too much (that’s very important), and find ways to hurt teams. Don Nelson never really realized that to have a truly great uptempo team, it starts with a defense that can generate turnovers. That’s the best way to get a fast break going. Now—whether Nelson really intended this or not—we have a team that not only can, but loves to play that style of harassing, in your face defense that generates a lot of turnovers and leads to a lot of fast breaks.

And I still say that Marquis Daniels is one of the scariest looking people I’ve ever seen in my life. Those eyes are just EVIL looking. I’d be too scared to play hard against him. Especially for a guard…he’s very intimidating.
 A team with solid veteran leaders who are playing to win, but can still play. Never in my life did I think I would write the following words, and it scares me to write them down, but at least so far, Jerry Stackhouse has been a great addition to this team. He comes in off the bench, and for the first time in his career plays hard at both ends of the court, only tries to score 30 when he has too or when he’s really hot, and in general plays a more all around game than he ever has in his career. It’s like he’s finally realized/wants to do more than score 30 a night; it’s like he wants to do whatever his team needs him to do to win.

Finley was also playing very well before he got hurt; he wasn’t just settling for whatever jump shot the other team gave him (he even had some highlight film dunks! How many years has it been since we’ve seen that from Finley?). Alan Henderson has been a superb addition; the man comes in, rebounds and plays hard, hits a few people, scores if you throw the ball at him, and sits back down.
 A team with a solid, respectable center. I was worried about Dampier…like many professional pundits, I was one who questioned his desire, work ethic, whatever. I said I would have been thrilled to get ten points and 8 rebounds a game out of him. Well, he’s averaging 9.3 points, 8 rebounds, a block, and half a steal while shooting 51% from the field. And this is while he’s getting used to his new team. If he could get those numbers up to 12 pts, 9 reebs, and 2 blocks, I would say he has more than earned his fat contract. He’s also played hard and—quite frankly—looked happy out there. I’m surprised at his blocks; I’ve seen about three games, and he’s had at least two if not three blocks in all the games I’ve seen. The days of the Queens shooting 100 layups on us are now over. He also gives them a legit low post threat in the half court, and is athletic enough to keep up with the rest of the team when they break. In other words, he’s been everything the Mavs have hoped for.
 A team that finally has a Superstar that looks like he’s ready to put this team on his back and carry them. Dirk has looked awesome so far this season. I’d always thought that Dirk would end up being the best Second Best Player on a team ever. As in, he’s the best of a class that includes Scottie Pippen, Kevin McHale, James Worthy, David Robinson (sorry David fans…but Timmy was THE MAN, not him), etc.. Guys who were incredible second best players on their team, but were never good enough/mentally strong enough to be The Man on their teams. With Dirk, it was the mentally strong enough that I always wondered about. I never got the super-competitive feel from him, the “I want to rip my opponent’s heart out” desire that true champions (Bird, Magic, Jordan, Isiah) have. I always felt like Dirk was happy to shoot his jumpers, get his 8-10 rebounds, win 50 games, and talk about winning a championship. And last year…he looked TOTALLY lost and confused last year. He definitely took two steps back last year. I was starting to feel after last season like my suspicions about him had been confirmed.

This year, however, it feels like he wants this to be his team. I think he was embarrassed after last year; I think he realized that he played poorly and timidly, and that the rest of the league was starting to overlook him when it named great—or potentially great—players. I think that bothered him. I think it hurt in that last year, there were too many big name guys—Walker, Jamison, Finley, Nash. You didn’t know for sure who The Man was. I think that he likes the fact that there is no doubt at all that this is HIS team, that there are no excuses for anyone else, that there is no doubt about who will be taking the last shot. I think he knows that this team will go as far as he can take them, and for the first time in his career, he welcomes that challenge, and has decided to show everyone that he will take them farther than many expected them to go.


I think Dirk still shoots too many jumpers—this is an extremely well balanced team, but the bottom line is that it will still go only as far as Dirk’s jumper will take them—but I think Dirk has finally grown up a LOT this year. And trust me my friends; it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

So do I think they are going to win a championship? No…I’m not that impressed. I still think this team loves its jumper too much; I still think that they don’t have a shut down, championship-style defense (though it is much improved); I still think (will always think) that they are coached by a crazy man. All that keeps me from thinking that they are TRULY a championship contender.

That being said…

Maybe. And this year…who knows? With Denver already ravaged by injuries and looking totally lost, Minnesota having to listen to Latrell ludicrously demand $14 mil a year (he’s kidding, right? Surely he’s stoned), Indiana tearing itself apart, Detroit looking less than spectacular (I’m telling you: they got lucky last year), and people starting to realize that Miami is an Eastern Conference contender, but not really a title contender, then why not the Mavs?

They probably shouldn’t win a championship, but Detroit shouldn’t have won one last year, either. And this is a team that’s good enough to make you wonder, and fun enough to make you want them to pull it off.

So remember…the NBA…it’s FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC!!!

Halo 2

The gong you here is the sound of the end, my friends. For tonight, Halo 2 is released upon our unsuspecting world, bringing the purity of oblivion.

For those of you who don't know, Halo is the absurdely popular video game for the XBox. In it you play as Master Chief, a space Marine who hunts down and kills aliens (and there are plenty to hunt and kill). It is a First Person Shooter (FPS), meaning that you cannot see your body as you play. You can only see the gun you are shooting with, and of course the rest of the screen (ala Quake, Doom, Unreal Tournament, Bond, etc.).

I've never been a real FPS fan. Just never got into the watching a gun walk around by itself as much as others do. However, Halo is fun for everyone because of it's exciting multiplayer option. There is nothing better than killing your friend who is sitting right next to you, and listening to them scream in frustration, and getting to scream at them as they die. It's the ultimate shit talking game, and everyone loves that. Plus the funny lines that get dropped by men and women of all ages are priceless (hence the quote of the day, mumbled under the breadth of the beautiful Robin during one game).

So if you're wondering why that one kid is really tired at work tomorrow, or why he's not at work at all, or why you keep hearing people say phrases like "It IS a legitimate stradegy", "Pussy-ass snipers are too scared to go out and really fight", or "Rockets are the fucking bomb"/"Rockets are gay", then rest assured that it is simply Halo 2 working it's magic.

So have fun gamers everywhere, and remember...Master Chief needs a gun.

Thoughts on the Election...and the coverage therein

Did anyone watch CNN last night? I think CNN should be forced to adopt the Daily Show's motto: Where more Americans get their news than probably should. I know that I'm being stupid to long for some objectivity in journalism, but this is just ridiculous!

Some thoughts from various coverages:

* You should have seen the looks of horror on the CNN people's faces when it became obvious that Bush was going to win Florida. I mean, it wasn't just shock (which registering shock for winning a "swing" state is pretty unprofessional in and of itself); it was fricking horror. It was like it had never dawned on these people that Bush might actually win, and the thought that he would TERRIFIED them.

* The Ohio thing. As the evening goes on, first the CNN crew starts saying there are 50k provisional ballots. Then, when Bush's lead hits 100k, it becomes 200k. Then as his lead continues to slowly increase, it becomes 250k. At one point Wolf seriously said "with absentee and provisional ballots, there might be 600,000 votes out there!" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHAT DREAM WORLD ARE YOU LIVING IN? This was at 12:45am!!!!!!!! I think like 90-95% of the vote was in at the time, and he's trying to say that 600k are left!

* So about midnight, the Secretary of State for Ohio comes on. Wolf is despirately trying to get the guy to say that there are 250k provisional votes, so Kerry can still have a chance to take Ohio. The Secratery keeps saying, "I will not make any projections, and I will not make estimates on the number of votes." Wolf asked him specifically if there were 250k votes--practically BEGGED him to say there were--at least ten times, and the guy would never do it.

So what happens? As soon as The Secretary leaves, Wolf starts talking to the other idiots out there, and says, "And the Secretary of State for Ohio just indicated to me that there are 250k votes outstanding." NO! NO HE DIDN'T YOU ASSHOLE! HE REFUSED TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANTED HIM TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE IT'S WRONG! STOP LYING! JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN DOESN'T MEAN IT'S THE TRUTH!

* Some funny quotes from the evening:
"You know, I've lived in Florida for almost 20 years, and when one candidate has 53% of the vote, the other has 47%, and 95% of the vote is in, it's safe to say that that candidate has won the state." --Larry King to his talking head colleagues as they were refusing to concede Florida to Bush.

"It appears the President has taken Florida. I don't know about you all, but this feels like after Game 3 of the Yankees-Red Sox series to me!" Some dumb bimbo on CNN, implying that Kerry was going to make the most dramatic comeback in the history of presidential elections (which is what the Red Sox did to the Yankees in the American League Championship Series, taking 4 straight to win the best of seven series)

"You have to remember, a 1% win is not a small win. I've conceded before with less than that. If the automatic recount is .25%, then 1% is four times the amount necessary to declare a winner." --Rudy Giuliani

"It looks like Ohio is going to go to Bush, but we here at CNN just don't want to jump to any conclusions, so we aren't going to concede that state to the President." --Some twit on CNN who suddenly decide to have journalistic integrity. However, that integrity didn't stop them from awarding Wisconsin to Kerry even though it was closer.

* I was a little disappointed in MSNBC's coverage last night. I don't have a problem with any news network being convervative after last election, but they wouldn't project ANYTHING. They should be the somewhat neutral guys; CNN is far left, FOX is far right, MSNBC is closer to the middle. It just seemed to me like they said, "Look, we don't want to seem like we're rooting for either side, so we're just not going to say anything all night." A little disappointing.

* I was impressed with FOX last night. It might have just been that their guy was winning, but I thought they did a pretty good job of staying objective. Normally they whip me as much as CNN.

* Man John Edwards creeps me out. When he came walking out there to tell the crowd that they were going to wait for Ohio, for "every vote to be counted", he had the weirdest smile on his face! It's after 2:00am in Boston...you shouldn't look insanely happy! Upbeat, tired, positive, yes, but not with a certifiably insane grin on his face. I kept thinking of the Walkin Dude's grin; that's what it reminded me of (and to you people who don't read Stephen King, don't worry about it).


And the quote of the day goes to my beloved father, who--no matter who you voted for--summed up probably all of our feelings as I was typing this:

"The Associated Press just announced that Kerry has conceded to Bush. Thank God it’s over."

Feel free to make comments, and write your name at the bottom of your comment please! God bless America!