Thoughts On The Presidents Address To Congress

* It is simply unbelievable what a dynamic speaker Obama is. When Obama is rolling, there's damn near no stopping him. You just can't listen to the guy and not feel good.

* I loved all of Obama's talk about encouraging innovation. This, I believe, is the strength of his plan. I have doubts (which we'll discuss) about the short term benefits of Obama's Deal (as I shall henceforth refer to the stimulus package), just like the New Deal proved pretty much ineffective in the short term. However, just as the New Deal was an outstanding investment in America's future, this has the same potential. IF we use this money to encourage innovation--better cars that reduce our dependence on foreign oil, a more efficient energy grid, infrastructure improvements, educational improvements, etc.--then the long term benefits to America--which are desperately needed--will be tremendous. For the first time in years, we're seeing a forward-looking plan from the government instead of just short term, "what will keep me popular now" thinking.

* I had to wonder, though, what Obama's union buddies were thinking as they heard him speak of innovation, of learning new trades, of going back to school. With all due respect to the folks who brought us the weekend, but the modern union is against, well, pretty much all of these ideas. There's nothing that screams "status quo" more than unions. Obama certainly isn't making any friends amongst the unions with this, and I'm happy--check that, I'm THRILLED to see him not just cowtowing to them, as I feared he would.

* Good job staying positive Barack!

* Nancy Pelosi, if you don't sit your dumb ass down and stop standing up and clapping at every other sentence, I'm going to reach through the TV set and strangle you. God I hate that arrogant bitch.

* There are no two Americans more thrilled than Kyle and I were to find Team Obama going through the budget, line by line, and removing wasteful spending (on that note, my first thought when I heard Obama mention cutting spending on "educational programs that don't work" was, "Bye bye abstinence education!"). It's far past time that someone sat down, took a hard look at everything we're spending money on, and asked the question, "Do we really need to spend money on this?" Good for them. While I'm certainly not a liberal "making money is bad and means your evil" kind of guy, I'm okay with taxing the rich more. I don't support this because they have more money than most people do; it's every good capitalist's job to try to make as much money as possible, plain and simple. I'm okay with this because if we're learned anything over the last year, it's that not only have many of the elite of the country taken home ridiculous amounts of money to fail miserably at their jobs (See: any car Executive Officer, any bank XO, any mortgage XO, etc.), but they have been ridiculously pompous and arrogant about doing so. It is time for the haves to give back. (I can't believe that I'm writing these words. But, sadly, it's become painfully obvious that far too often that instead of the most rewards being given to the most deserving, the most rewards have been given to the Old Boy's Club who just watched each other's backs instead of doing what was best for their companies and shareholders, which in turn is what's best for the country. It's time to break up that Club and invite the best and the brightest back in. Look at it this way Kyle: instead of Francisco d'Anconia, I want Dagny and JG back in charge, and am cool with taking Franky's money from him.) THAT BEING SAID, I still don't see how Obama is going to do all the things he's promised to do and not raise taxes for anyone making under $250k. I love what you're trying to do Obama. I really do. But that math just don't work in my head.

* Joe Biden...wow. He might be the living personification of the goofy dumb kid in class. Was he texting the entire speech? Writing his grocery list? He kept looking into his lap the whole time like he was playing on a Blackberry, and looked disinterested most of the time. The only good part about it was he obviously shared my feelings on Pelosi: every time she'd stand and applaud after about the third time, he kept shooting her the, "Bitch, quit making me have to stand up, I'm busy surfing the web for notes on Jessica's weight!" look. I kept waiting for Obama to turn around and sternly say, "Joe, give me the Blackberry. Give it to me Joe. Joe...give me...there. Now we're going to talk about this when we get home. Now you will sit there, and you will pay attention, do you understand me?" Good to know he's in charge if anything happens to Obama.

* Credit to the Republicans: they did a much better job of being enthusiastic and respectful of the Commander In Chief than the Democrats even thought of being to Bush. Almost everyone stood, almost everyone cheered enthusiastically, and I didn't notice any of the Hillary Clinton "I'm just fake clapping because a camera is on me while looking disgusted" bullshit in the crowd. Way to be respectful of your leader, whether you agree with him or not.

* Next, to the Republican response, from their "rising star", Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal. His speech can be summed up pretty succinctly: he was AWFUL. Just awful.

Look, I'll give you guys the benefit of the doubt. Barack Obama might be one of the best orators in the history of the world. I realize what high praise that is, but I think he's literally that good. So anybody following him--even if they're damn good--is going to look bad by comparison. So unfortunately, Bobby J was set up for failure from the beginning. I sympathize Bobby, I really do.

That being said, your speech was pathetic. First of all, there was way too much storytime. Look dude, I know you want to be President in 2012 and want to pimp yourself, but I don't need five full minutes on your life history. The President just gave an outstanding speech outlining what America needs to do; we're in a time of crisis, and he got in there, hit numerous points, and did so succinctly. So I'm not interested in your life story following that, I'm interested in your response to what he said. Second, I have to give mad props to the pure, unadulterated greatness of Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket on this one. The whole time he was speaking, Kim and I both thought that the way he spoke was odd, though we couldn't put our finger on exactly what it was. Well The Ticket nailed it this morning: he talked exactly like Kenneth The Page from 30 Rock! EXACTLY! From the simple sentences, to the soft, country boy, "please take advantage of me" tone of voice. Not exactly what you're looking for in a future President.

And finally, to his message itself. Republicans, I understand that you feel you have to argue with anything a Democratic president says. I understand that you two idiots (dems and repubs, of course) have convinced yourselves that in the modern world, you have to hate each other, and that there can be no compromise. I understand that you think that. Well, here's your problem. You've tried since Reagan to sell yourselves as the anti-government party; the party that wants a small government, little interference in people's lives, and as much money in the people's hands as possible. And hey, I'm all for that. That's what I'm interested in. I support that.

Here's the problem: that's not what you've been doing. You've spent tons of money, you've spent way too much time and effort trying to ram social issues down our throats, and you failed miserably at your job as caretakers of this country. It's not all your fault, to be sure, and you've gone through some remarkable challenges while you were in charge of the country. But the fact of the matter is, YOU FAILED. You didn't lower the deficit, your tax ideas didn't stimulate the economy, and the government didn't shrink while you were in charge. You didn't do what your supposed goal is. These are the facts, and they are irrefutable.

As such, the people voted you out, and wanted to try a new path. And the guy they choose has taken some of your ideas: no new taxes for people making under $250k should be a Republican's dream come true! Encouraging innovation in the private sector is what your party has championed for years! These are all ideas you should get behind. So if you don't get behind those ideas, and instead throw our ridiculous and uncompromising criticisms--like insisting that the stimulus should be nothing but tax cuts, when you didn't even do that when you were in power--then you're just proving one thing: that you're not really the group that wants a small government with most of the money in the people's hands. You're the group that supports the Old Boy's Club: you want as much money going to your rich buddies as possible, and you don't give a shit about anyone else. You want to be in charge because you want to be in charge, not because you think your ideas are for the best of the country. You want the title, not what's best for the country.

Let me put it this way: I sure as fuck don't want to see the Governor of Louisiana up there bitching about how big the Federal government is, while telling stories about Katrina, when ALL THE WORTHLESS STATE OF LOUISIANA HAS EVER DONE SINCE KATRINA IS BITCH ABOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH HELP FROM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT! I couldn't believe my ears as BJ was talking. Really? You want to bitch about the Federal government being too big, when your state just sat on their asses and did almost nothing while waiting for the government to do everything for you? Really? That's how you want to show that a Federal government is bad? FUCK YOU!!!!! THERE WOULDN'T BE A NEW ORLEANS RIGHT NOW IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT! AND AS A FEDERAL TAXPAYER, I'M FUCKING OKAY WITH THAT BJ!!!!!!!

...

So in conclusion, I wasn't a big fan of the Republican response, and I don't find myself a support of Bobby Jindal going forward.

* I don't want to end on a negative note, so let's accentuate the positives once again. I like what I'm hearing from Obama. He's far less Liberal than he seemed on the campaign trail. I think he does have good ideas and intentions as to what we need to do to fix our country. I think he's a dreamer and is only going to be able to accomplish half of what he wants to accomplish, but I'm okay with that. It's been far too long since we've had a leader who had lots of good ideas for the future, and that's what we need right now: a man who's interested in what we can do, and not what we can't.

Excellent work Mr. President. Now go make it happen please.

Coupla Things...

* First of all, I have a fantastic new site to share with you that I'm adding to my links on the right. It's called Mental_Floss, and it's billed as Where Knowledge Junkies Get Their Fix. I highly encourage you to start checking out this site, as you can find stories about

! The Surprisingly Cool History of Ice
! 5 Drinking Stories That Put Yours To Shame
! Money For (Practically) Nothing
! 8 Fairy Tales And Their Not So Happy Endings

It's really a fantastic site, and I can't recommend it enough. Here's a tidbit from a list of ridiculous medical cures that I (and every man in the world) absolutely LOVED:

2. Lydia Pickham’s Vegetable Compound (Great for boozy housewives!)
Touted as one of the world’s first successful businesswomen, Lydia Pickham exploited her reputation as a local medicine woman to propel her herbal remedy into a commercial success, eventually grossing almost $400,000 yearly. The remedy claimed to cure all womanly ailments and weaknesses and sold for $1 a bottle. What was in the herbal remedy? Turns out, it contained less than 1% solid substance from vegetable extracts and almost 20% alcohol. If a woman took the suggested 1 tablespoon every 2-4 hours, she will have consumed 5 ounces of 13.5% or higher alcohol by the end of the day – more than enough for a healthy buzz that made life seem a bit more cheery to boozy housewives. When the Federal Trade Commission tightened its laws on claims made by medicines, Lydia Pickham’s Vegetable Compound had to swallow the restrictions with a spoonful of sugar.

Enjoy, and thank me later.

* I was thrilled to see that Harry Truman made the list of top five greatest presidents earlier this week. I've always felt that Truman was a fantastic President and doesn't get the respect he deserves. Here is one of the many great points about Truman: any person alive today who had a parent serve in WW2 owes Harry Truman their very existence. It's as simple as that.

* After reading this ridiculous list recently, you can bet on the triumphant return of the Top Ten Hottest List coming soon. I'm sorry it's been so long.

* Now I know you're all going to be shocked to find that this is right up my alley, but I think that this is one of the best dating ideas ever. I'm totally going on this if they have it in Dallas! Oh, right...sorry Kim ;-P

* In yet another sign of how ridiculous and polarized America has become, I read this gem. You know what the saddest part of this is to me? I've seen these signs, and my first thought was, "I wonder how long until I read in the Dallas Morning News that hippies are running around and stealing or vandalizing these signs." Look people, the guy was the President of the United States. You don't see me tearing down any Clinton signs and I can't stand his ass. If you can't at least show some respect for the former President, at least show some respect for people's personal property, and if you can't show respect for that, then guess what? I don't value your political opinion because you're just a fucking crook, so piss off with your statements.

On the bright side, what a great idea by that kid. He's got all the angles played: an idea that will have good demand, a good sympathetic story that makes people feel good about buying from him, and sharing some of the wealth to make people feel even better about buying. Excellent work Patrick Bibb.

* I find it funny that I'm posting this today; obviously I've had this for a coupla months so it's a little dated, but then the car companies when to Congress and said they needed even more money yesterday! Thanks you fucking morons for making this joke applicable again!


* I'll say this: when you list the states where a porn star could possibly win a Senate seat, Louisiana has to be in the top five, right? DEFINITELY read this article all the way through; if there was a Comedy Awards with categories like the Golden Globes (fuck the Oscars), then this article would win Double Entendre Article of the Year.

* I think it's been well established that I'm not a fan of Communist China. However, I have to give them props on the contaminated milk episode. Why? Because justice was served by executing the CEO and a few other managers. It's pretty straightforward, really: they knew they had a dangerous and contaminated product, they released it anyway to make a buck, simply hoping for the best, and it ended up killing several children. China acted swiftly, and justice was served. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen in America. It should happen, though, to the peanut guy. This man has intentionally killed at least 9 people. He deserves to go.

* Some politics: I'd like to (as usual, it seems) praise and scold our new President. I thought this quote about Republicans from his first public address was priceless:

"It's a little hard for me to take criticism from folks about this recovery package after they presided over the doubling of the nation's debt. I'm not sure they have a lot of credibility when it comes to fiscal responsibility."

That's priceless. I've discussed the current economic woes in detail before and won't do so again, but yes, for Republicans to sit there and scream "Nothing but tax cuts!" and then be surprised when they don't get there way is ludicrous. Gentlemen, you had your chance to stop this disaster for eight years. Instead, you decided not to take the political hit of starting a small recession to keep from having a big one, and now we're stuck in a big one. The people voted, and decided we needed to try something new. Like this plan or not (and I don't think it's great--any plan where you spend more and take in less isn't exactly sound logic to me, but hey, what do I know, I'm just a financial analyst--but I don't think it's as terrible as most people believe), you had your chance, and the people of this country decided to do something different. Obama's doing exactly what he promised to do during his campaign: go in there and spend money on a zillion different things. Live with it.

That being said, I do have a complaint for Obama, which I saw perfectly articulated in this WSJ article. Mr. President...cut the gloom and doom shit, please. We've discussed here before how the perception of the economy makes much of it's reality. Your constant doom and gloom forecasts aren't fucking helping. I understand you were doing it to get everyone behind your stimulus package so you could go spend a shitload of money on all of the things you're interested in. I get that. But now that it's passed, I want that to stop, and I want it to stop right now. You can't expect Consumer Confidence to go up when you're constantly calling for doom and gloom. I'm not saying that you should say that this will be fixed in a year, but start mixing the positivity you showed during your campaign about the economy. Here's a simple fact about any economic system in the world: in order for it to get better, people must THINK it will get better. Start encouraging them to think that way. Remember your own words: have the audacity of hope.

* One last political thing: I saw the Secretary of State, the one, the only, Hillary Rodham Clinton on Good Morning America the other day. She was also spouting out Obama's economic gloom and doom forecast.

Now Hillary, I'd like to be as diplomatic as possible about this, so here are my thoughts/advice to you on the subject of economics:

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I don't fucking want to hear you chime in about the economy Hillary. First of all, one of the biggest reasons we're in this situation is because of the Subprime Mortgage Disaster, which YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND started back when he was President. As an aspiring politician who was undeniably helping him run the country back then, I hold you responsible for that. So please, don't sit there and fucking gloom and doom us, as that isn't helping, it's just making worse the mess you started. Second of all, you're the Secretary of State. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. I want your focus to be external. I want you to get governments to stop supporting terrorists. I want you to bring peace to distraught nations. I want you strengthening the relationships we have with our allies. I think it's safe to say that there are plenty of problems going on in the world today that the SoS doesn't need to be sticking their nose in other concerns of the government. You were not elected President Hillary. Go do your job.

Sorry. That's about as diplomatic as I could be.

* Finally, the NBA has reached it's midpoint and is approaching the Trade Deadline (Thursday). Here are various thoughts on various subjects throughout the association:

# The Marion for O'Neal deal was incredibly exciting...four years ago. Now, it's just two washed up veterans switching spots. I think Miami got the better talent from the deal (due to securing Jamairo Moon as well), though I think I would rather have let Marion's contract expire at season's end then get harnessed with O'Neal's bad deal.
# I cannot wait for Carlos Boozer to go into free agency and find that no one is willing to give him any big money. Sometimes there is justice in the world.
# Dude...Phoenix is not trading Amare Stoudamire. But New Jersey will trade Vince Carter.
# I've got bad news for the Rockets: TMac is D-U-N done, and no, it's not fake. I remember watching him the first game of the season: he got the ball about 12 feet out, threw a headfake that the defender TOTALLY bit on, went to blow by him for an easy dunk...and just couldn't move. It was like watching a guy in slow motion. It's sad, but his great athleticism has finally run it's course, and there's nothing he nor you can do about it.
# I cannot believe the Hornets just traded Tyson Chandler for Joe Smith and Chris Wilcox. What a give up by the Hornets, one of the most promising teams of the next few years. Shame on them.
# Shaq, trying to get back to the Lakers is ridiculous. You look like a buffoon. Just stop it.
# There are few people in this world more overrated than Nate Robinson.
# Lebron James will win his first NBA championship this season.
# I continue to be proud of this Mavericks team. If you told me that at the All Star break they would be 10 games over .500 and basically one win out of fourth place, I would have been thrilled. Even though this team is not as close to being as talented as the Mavs of the last five years, this continues to be a team that plays above it's talent level almost every night. Good for them.

Long term, though, my assessment remains the same: I hope Howard, Kidd, and Stackhouse are all shipped the next two days, and the rebuilding process begins with hope for a championship in three years.

As always...the NBA continues to be FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC!