Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Top Five Greatest Animated Characters

Little late, but last week's Top Five list:

1) Optimus Prime
I think my thoughts on the greatest hero that ever existed are well documented. This should come as a shock to none.

2(tie) Darkseid & Apocalypse
Numbers 1 & 2 on my Villians List are two of my favorite characters of all time, and I just can't choose between the two. However, what makes these characters so exceptional in the animated realm is their voice actors. Michael Ironside (Darkseid) and the late John Colicos both brought a combination of calm, haughty, and incredibly evil tone to each of these characters that added to their allure exponentially. Like Peter Cullen & Optimus Prime, I'm not interested in anyone voicing these characters other than these two men.

3) Lord Sesshomaru
From the anime Inuyasha, Sesshomaru will definitely make an appearance in my forthcoming "Almost Heroes" blog. Sesshomaru is a character that started the series as almost pure evil, but has transformed as the series has progressed into--well, not a caring character, but one who is loyal and, while harsh, does follow a more just path. To his chosen companions and loved ones, he is caring. He and Ren's, his adopted daughter, dynamic is facinating.

4) A Pimp Named Slick Back
One of the funniest animated characters, ever. Hailing from The Boondocks, A Pimp Named Slick Back--not Mr. Slick Back, you say the entire name, like A Tribe Called Quest--is exactly what he says he is: a pimp. A charicature of pimp's everywhere, his straitforward and honest outlook on his lifestyle and how it operates in the world around him cracks me up. Excellently voiced by Katt Williams, he is my favorite character on a show full of excellent characters.

5) Samurai Jack
The ultimate samurai: strong, humble, dedicated to the cause of righteousness. What separates Jack, though, is his subtle sense of humor. Jack does occasionally make jokes, and is able to roll with it when others do, as well. His stoicism in facing an almost impossible quest is also an inspiration.

Honorable Mention
Grimlock, Wolverine (of course), Homer Simpson, Stewie Griffin, Bender, Lord Nibbler (I agonized between him & Jack, I LOVE the overdramtic Nibblonians), Bubbles, Prowl.

Labels: , ,

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Collapse of the Housing Market

Since my blog has basically become an NBA blog in the last coupla months, I decided it was time to get back on track and look outside the world of sports. As such, we're going to discuss two things: the collapse of the housing market and its effect on the economy, and the top five animated characters of all time. I know; they have a lot to do with each other. But versatility is one of the most admired traits at PJ's Place! So here we go. Today is the housing market, tomorrow we’ll do the top five.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know, it's not very often that two words can be used to describe a position in a complicated issue like the collapse of the housing market. It's also not very often that the same two words can be used with regards to all parties involved. However, in this case, I think these two words can fairly accurately be applied to all parties involved:

"Tough shit."

Harsh, isn't it? C'est la vie. Let's look at each group and how that phrase applies:

The Displaced Former Homeowners
Here's your situation: you've never been able to afford a home. However, banks suddenly started offering "variable rate mortgages" with ridiculously low interest rates to begin with. Sure, they charged high fees (more on this later), but didn't demand that you put much--if any--money down, and did no credit check on you. They might have checked to see if you're currently employed, and that's it. You looked to see if you could afford the house right now, and the monthly payments were about the same as your apartment rent. So you know what? You bought a house, even though you have a low paying job and have credit problems.

You moved in, and things were good for a while. You found out that houses are a lot more expensive than apartments; you have lawns to upkeep, you have to pay to have things repaired instead of calling your apartment complex and having it fixed for free, you need more stuff/shit since you have more room, and your utility costs have gone up. But you're making it--barely, but you're making it.

And then your rates changed.

You knew this was going to happen. I mean, that's what "variable" means. Your lender probably even made you sign a sheet of paper that said, "I've been told that variable means my rates will change, with the potential to go up drastically." You didn't worry about that then, because that would happen later--hopefully a lot later.

Well, later is here. Now you can't make your hourse payment, and as more people like you can't make their house payments, the rates keep going up as the banks try to recoup their losses, which of course just makes it worse. After awhile, the bank reposses your house. You are upset because you've lost your house.

"Tough shit."

I've ranted and raved here before about how much I hate the "No credit/bad credit/no problem!" commercials. While there are flaws with our credit system, it still does the basics of its job. And if you have bad credit, you usually have it for a good reason. You have it because you can't afford to live the lifestyle you're living. And then you went up a lifestyle! You bought a house!

The problem here, sadly, isn't that your house was taken away. The problem is you were ever given a house in the first place. You couldn't afford it, your past shows you couldn't afford it, and the overwhelming percantages that said you would end up defaulting simply played their part. The market worked.

The Builders
Here's your situation: due to current low interest rates and the fact that banks are handing out money like free pens, there's suddenly a HUGE demand for homes. So you start building.

But you want to make as much money as possible, and a lot of the upturn in this market is first time homebuyers who don't really know what they should be looking for...so you start to cut corners to make some extra cash.

You make smaller lots. Then you don't use brick on the back of homes, and pretend that that is okay. You offer "guarantees" that are really just admissions that you're not making quality homes, but will fix the problems later if the homeowner throws a fit. Then you make even smaller lots. You build "communities" before anyone has purchased houses in an area so you can make the same house over and over again, which helps your economies of scale by removing any differentiation in the homes. Then you make even smaller lots. And all of this is okay, because the price of homes keeps rising, and people keep buying them.

But then the sky falls, the prices of houses start falling, and people stop buying houses.

Now you're left with houses that are really worth a fraction of what you were planning on selling them for, because they're not really good houses. And there are a lot of them. You're worried you're going to go under.

"Tough shit."

You're smart enough to know this was an overinflated market. Hell, you're smart enough to know that, which is why many of you decided to but out the middleman (banks) and start financing your homes yourself. You wanted to get in on those fees (more on that later :-) and those variable rate loans where these poor people are really just paying interest, and not any principal, so you can keep sucking money out of them forever. And now you want the government to come in and help you out because--like deep down inside, you always new--it came to an end.

The Banks
Interest rates were ridiculously low, and people started borrowing more and more money to buy more houses. Well, it's the old quantity versus quality debate: "How are we going to make a better profit if rates are so low?" Easy answer: get more people to borrow money.

So you do two things. First, you start dreaming up fees. Fees for everything. Courier fees. Document handling fees. Ink fees for the pens. If there's a way you can charge a fee for it, you do. Why? Because that's your profit: your one stop, fixed cost, "this is our money and we have it immediately" profit. Your not adding an extra service; Hell, some of this shit is totally made up. But because A) the people your lending money to aren't good at this (because no one's ever been dumb enough to lend them money before, because their credit scores prove they can't handle it), and B) the rates are so low that people are getting a good deal right now, so they don't care about some fees that along the life of a loan look small in comparison. So you start ripping people off literally from the start.

Second, you start loaning money to anyone who comes in. You do do credit checks, but you do that as an excuse to give the people that you shouldn't be loaning money to variable rate loans. What this means is yes, you're taking a bit of a hit right now--though like we've said, you've covered yourself with the extra fees you charged--once this person is locked in to his home, you can raise his rates. Oh, you have to have a reason, of course, but you right in vague reasons that essentially give you the power to raise his rates whenever you want. Anyone with good credit would laugh at this and walk away, but these people don't know any better; they just know that they've been turned down loans many times, and now a bank is offering money, and it looks good right now. And you know that you'll be okay, as long as everyone doesn't stop paying at once. Deep down inside, you know there's a chance that will happen, but you're making so much money RIGHT NOW that you can't resist--your profit is inflated thanks to your accounts receivable, which is driving your stock price up, and is making you rich right now. So you quiet those doubts and little voices telling you that this is Business 101 and won't work, and you go make as much money as you can right now by giving away as much money as you can, right now.

Like we said, economies of scale.

Inevitably, the interest rate starts to rise. So you raise your variable rates. This causes you to lose some of your lenders who can't pay. Well, you don't want to lose that money; if you report a loss in profit, your stock price will drop! You won't make as much money! So what do you do? You raise the rates of your other variable rate leases to cover the ones you lost. This, in turn, causes more of them to default, as they were barely making it, which causes you to...

You get the picture.

Now, your nightmare has happened: everyone is defaulting at once. Your "accounts receivable" which you were using to drive up your profit to your stockholders has vanished, your reporting huge losses, Wall Street has bailed, and holy shit, you're facing bankruptcy. You need help.

"Tough shit."

It's business 101: don't lend money to people who can't handle it. Remember credit scores, which is the system that YOU set up, which is slanted to give not the consumer, but YOU an advantage? Yeah, those things, where we get penalized just for asking what our score is? Well, YOU choose to ignore them. And that led to this happening...AGAIN. Because this is not the first time in history that this has happened.

The market is doing what it was inevitably going to do: right itself. It's punishing those businesses who made poor business decisions. And you made poor business decisions.

The Government
A patsy and an evil oil barron are running the country. They're allowing rampant collusion among oil & gas companies so they can make as much money as possible. How can they get away with this, though, without the country throwing a fit? The answer is fairly simple: keep the economy running in spite of the rising price of gas, which affects EVERYONE.

So what do they do? The keep interest rates low. They see that the economy is going down a bad path: inflation is rising, too many loans are being handed out, it's been a bull economy for too long. But you are desperate to keep the economy going, so consumer confidence will remain high and people will stay happy. You even get a few economists to buy into it and start making ridiculous claims like, "Huh, it seems the price of gas doesn't effect the economy at all!" As time goes on, it becomes even more important to keep the ecomony running, because you're coming up on an election and you want your party to stay in power, and you know there's no way that will happen if you go into a recession.

But like the dam where everytime you plug a hole, another two pop up, you're having problems. Too many bad loans have been given out. The industry you're favoring keeps raising prices to keep their ALL TIME RECORD HIGH PROFITS going even higher, so people who were given loans are squeezed even tighter. They start to default.

It's the snowball that starts the avalanche.

Now you have some of the biggest names in business--Bear Sterns, Bank of America, etc., etc.--either in danger of going under completely, or posting their worst statements in their history. And what do they do first? Why they come to you, of course, and demand to be bailed out. You don't really want to do that, of course. You feel that this is their fault.

"Tough shit."

You were the ones who had Greenspan & Bernanke keep inflation rates too low for too long in order to keep the economy running at its breakneck pace. Instead of easing the economy into a "recession"--which would really just have been a slight adjustment in the market, let everyone pay some bills, and come out better in the end--you decided to stay glamorous and rob Peter to pay Paul.

The Recession, or Where This Leaves Us
So what does this mean? Is America doomed? Is the sky going to fall on everyone? Is GDII about to hit?

Of course not—as long as we don’t panic and do anything stupid.

A little recession—like revolution—now and again is not a bad thing. A small recession is simply the market righting itself—returning to a level of normalcy, as it were. It also means that the individual consumer (you and me) are taking the time to pay our bills and are stepping back and taking a breather from our spending sprees. This, of course, is also a good thing to do after a spending spree. So therefore, a mild recession is not only not bad, but necessary every few years.

I don’t worry about the people who lost their homes, either. As we discussed earlier, they shouldn’t have been in those homes to begin with. Look back fondly on your time in that house, and be happy with the smaller home/apartment you have now.

I don’t worry about the businesses that got hurt in this. Capitalism is survival of the fittest, and another will quickly rise to take your place, or you’ll recover and (hopefully) learn from this experience.

I don’t worry about the party that allowed all this to happen. The negative feedback from voters will cause them to have a better candidate for President, and will keep them from having control of both Congress and the Presidency, which is a good thing.

AS LONG AS PEOPLE DON’T PANIC, we’ll all be fine. And since, in spite of all the gloom and doom that the media is gleefully reporting, the dow is over 12k today, that tells me that people aren’t panicing. We’re just settling in for a little bit of a recession, which is exactly what we need.

So don’t worry about the housing market, people. If you want to worry about something, worry about how the oil & gas execs aren’t rotting in prison right now.

Labels: ,

Friday, April 18, 2008

2008 Western Conference & NBA Finals Predictions

Greatest regular season in sports history, unbelievable future for this conference, blah blah blah. None of that matters now. Let's hop to it:
ROUND I

LA Lakers (1) v Denver Nuggets (8)
Prediction: LA, 4-1

Surely AI can manage to win 1 game against the Lakers again, right?

The real question here is what do you do with Denver if they are almost swept in the first round--again. You have to trade Melo, right? I mean, this team obviously is never going to compete for a championship, and at this point I think it is becoming more and more obvious that (what I said many years ago) Melo is never going to be a #1 guy for a championship team. So if you're Denver...after another off-court fuck up by Melo...you've got to deal him, right? Interesting off season for them.

New Orleans Hornets (2) v Dallas Mavericks (7)
Prediction: Dallas, 4-3

This series is driving me crazy. I'm so conflicted. Time for the fav:

REASONS TO PICK DALLAS
* The only player on the Hornets with playoff experience is Da Peja, whose leg is permanently stained yellow from peeing on himself in the playoffs.
* CP3 is exhausted, and if you look at his numbers in April, it's pretty obvious he's carried the team for too long.
* The words "home court advantage" and "New Orleans" don't strike fear into me like Golden State did.
* Since the Kidd trade, Dirk has been playing the best basketball of his career.
* Kidd is finally comfortable here, and I think he's got one or two moments of, "I know I'm getting to the point where I'm almost washed up, but I can still summon the old magic against the new young guy and emerge as the victor!" left in him.
* Howard isn't out of his slump, but isn't completely sucking anymore, so that's good.

REASONS TO PICK NEW ORLEANS
* EVERYONE is picking the Mavs to upset the Hornets. Whenever all the pundits are going one way in an upset, go the other.
* CP3 just had the greatest season a point guard ever had. Ever.
* Not only is David West one of the most underrated players in the league, but he is a GREAT matchup agains Dirk. He's quick, he's long, and can hang with him.
* Speaking of Dirk, at best his ankle will be 85%.
* In spite of all their doubters, over and over again all season, they've proved they are for real, as proof by finishing with the second seed.

I'm not sure if I'm going with the Mavs because I want them to win, or if its because I honestly think they'll win. The fact that everyone is picking them terrifies me. However, in the end, two things made me decide on them:
1) The Mavs win Game 7's...especially in the first round. Ask Portland and Houston. If the Mavs make it to Game 7, they take it--and usually convincingly so. It's getting there that is the hard part.
2) The most important reason is I think Byron Scott lost this series when he played his starters in the final game of the season against the Mavs. As I mentioned earlier, CP3 is obviously gassed. They had the 2 seed locked up, so he had one of two choices: give his starters some valuable and much needed rest, and say to his team/the world, "We're not afraid of the Mavs; bring em on", or play the game and get the easiest first round matchup (Denver) if they win, but risk wearing your starters down more and convincing the Mavs "We can beat these guys" if you lose. When, not only did they lose, but they lost pretty soundly, and they lost in a game that Dirk sucked. I think that decision will really come back to haunt them.

Beware the Hornets next year, though...

San Anotnio Spurs (3) v Phoenix Suns (6)
Prediction: Suns in 6

There are lots of reasons I could espouse to you that the Spurs won't win, that are all legit, intelligent, and noteworthy. However, I can also sum it up fairly quickly:

It's an even year.

Ergo, Suns win in one of the toughest first round matchups ever.

Houston Rockets (4) v Utah Jazz (5)
Prediction: Jazz in 5

I know Utah is the 4 seed, but how is that the case if the Rockets get home court because they have the better record? Still drives me crazy. Anyway...I'm sorry, but while it was impressive, the Rockets 22 win streak was the fakest 22 game win streak ever, and they have been barely above a .500 ball club. With Skip To My Lou out for the first two games, the Jazz take one, and then close the Rockets out at home, where the Jazz are borderline unbeatable.

ROUND 2

LA Lakers (1) v Utah Jazz (4)
Prediction: Lakers in 6

The Lakers are just a bad matchup against the Jazz. On paper, the Jazz should win. Boozer can check Gasol. AK-47, the best defender in the NBA, can slow down Kobe. Williams goes nuts, Okur goes nuts, benches are even, Jazz win.

Unfotunately, that's not the way it is. Boozer can check Gasol. But AK-47 is a shadow of his former self, and can't stop Kobe. One of the Jazz's best strengths, bringing Kyle Korver off the bench, can't happen because he can't guard Kobe or Odom. The Jazz just never seem to play well against the Lakers; they are one of the few teams who can boast a win in Utah.

Lakers prevail.

Dallas Mavericks (7) v Phoenix Suns (6)
Prediction: Suns in 6

If Dirk was 100% and this were the Spurs, I would pick the Mavs. However, Dirk is not 100%, and this is not the Spurs. Amare goes nuts, and the Suns win.

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

LA Lakers (1) v Phoenix Suns (6)
Prediction: Lakers in 7

God I want to pick the Suns. However, I think Kobe pulls a DWade and shoots 25 free throws a game, and the Lakers pull it out.

In fairness, the Lakers match up well against the Suns. They can throw Fischer & Farmer at Little Stevie Nash and wear him down. Kobe v Raja is still a win for Kobe. And the Odom-Gasol triumverate can break even with Shaq-Amare.

The only chance the Suns have is if Boris Diaw turns back the clock two years. If he does that, they win. If he doesn't, the Lakers win. Simple as that.

NBA FINALS

Boston Celtics (1) v LA Lakers (1)
Prediction: Celtics in 6

Not only have the Celtics proved themselves by winning an amazing 25 games against the West, but I think they match up great against the Lakers. Allen/Allen/Pierce do a decent job against Kobe, KG kicks the shit out of Gasol, Pierce/Posey are fine against Odom, Perkins is better than Turiaf, and Rondo/Cassell tops Fisher/Farmer. Any strength the Lakers have the Celtics have an answer to, and then some.

Finally, I think this is one of the few matchups where the NBA doesn't call in the Laker's favor. I think Stern would love to see KG win one, and would be happy with a title in either market, so Kobe doesn't get his usual favoritism.

Once again, Boston wins.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

2008 Eastern Conference Playoff Preview

What could break me out of the stunning silence that has hung over my blog like a dark cloud of despair for far too long? Two things: 1) the potential for the best NBA playoffs ever, and 2) one of my kids emailing me and saying, "dude. when the time comes, you're going to post your playoff predictions right?" Yes, John. YES I AM!

So...without further ado...here we go:

ROUND I

BOSTON CELTICS (1) v ATLANTA HAWKS (8)
Prediction: Boston, 3-0

I'm not even wasting my time writing about this one. And yes, I meant to put 3-0. Like there's a 7-0 skunk rule in pickup ball, there should be a 3-0 skunk rule in this playoff series. Bring back the 5 game first round!

DETROIT PISTONS (2) v PHILADELPHIA 76ERS (7)
Prediction: Detroit, 4-2

I feel for the 76ers, who I think would beat any team in the East--except for Boston or Detroit. Yes, even Orlando. Unfortunately, while Detroit has earned a reputation of peeing over their leg in the playoffs, they don't do that in the first round. Philly is talented enough to take a coupla games and make Detroit focus, but not talented enough to pull off the upset. Too bad, because this is a young, entertaining team that I will definitely root for over the SSDD that is the Detroit Pistons.

ORLANDO MAGIC (3) v TORONTO RAPTORS (6)
Prediction: Raptors in 7

Their has to be one first round upset, right? And no, I don't think that a 5 beating a 4 really counts as an "upset". More on that later. While I'm not a huge fan of this Raptor's team--for God's sake, they only finished one game over .500 in the pathetic East--I'm not too excited about this Magic team either. Dwight Howard is a budding superstar, but he's not a superstar yet. Rashard Lewis is NOT an All Star, even if he's getting paid like one. And I'm sorry, but I think Jameer Nelson is unquestionably one of the ten worst starting point guards in the league, and might slip into the top five. I just don't see a team like that winning their first foray into the playoffs when they're playing a team who is close to them talent-wise, and has been there and done that.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (4) v WASHINGTON WIZARDS (5)
Prediction: ????

This all depends on Lebron's back. If Lebron's back is decent, I say the Cavs win. If it's not, then Washington wins--and wins rather quickly.

Basically, they need an outstanding effort from Lebron to win this series. This, of course, is not a problem for at all, especially since he likes to torture the Wizards. But if his back is messed up, and all signs point to the fact that it is...then they are D-U-N done.

Fine, I won't be a wimp...I think Lebron is able to pull it together in this series. Cavs in 6.

ROUND 2

BOSTON CELTICS (1) v CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (4)
Prediction: Boston in 6

And I don't really think it's going to be that close. Let's face it, the Cavs don't have the magic this year they did last year. Yes, Lebron took his game to another level this season, but at the same time, he became more frustrated with the fact that he elevated his game and his team/teammates did not.

In a way, the front office failures and lack of development of his teammates is a good thing. How, you ask? Because in 2010 when his Cleveland contract is done, it will be easy for him to say, "Well, I tried...off to New York!" instead of it being an agonizing, awkward decision that is inevitable.

DETROIT PISTONS (2) v TORONTO RAPTORS (6)
Prediction: Pistons in 6

I don't like the Pistons, as has been well documented. However, this Raptors team just doesn't have the firepower to pull off this upset. Detroit benefits from playing in a crappy conference, and wins a series were all the games are close but the outcome is never really in doubt.

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

BOSTON CELTICS (1) v DETROIT PISTONS (2)
Prediction: Boston in 6

Honestly...I wouldn't be surprised if it's Boston in 5. I think a trancendent player like Lebron can steal two games from the Celtics. I don't think anybody else in the Eastern Conference can honestly be "expected" to win two against the Celtics.

Because of how entertaining the West race was, people have VASTLY overlooked the Celtics. This team won 66 games! They are one of the best defensive teams EVER. Literally, one of the best of all time. They have the perfect balance of youth & veteran leadership. They have playoff experience. They have three future Hall of Famers, two of whom are still in their prime, and the third of whom happened to find himself in that "I'm slightly past my Hall of Fame prime, but if I'm on a team with one or two other great players I can still light it up". The have one of the best clutch players/leaders of all time. The have one of the greatest coachs/leaders (no, I'm not referring to Doc Rivers) ever, who is totally devoted to winning and has set the tone as such for the entire team. Finally, everything I said they needed to do in the preseason--turn Rajon Rando into a solid point guard, get production out of their younger players, pick up a coupla good veterans as the season went on--they've done.

This is the Celtic's year.

TOMORROW: WESTERN CONFERENCE & NBA FINALS