Wedding Talk: The DJ
Several years ago, my friend Kortney came to me and asked me a very important question to anyone getting married:
"What are good songs to play at weddings?"
What a deep and profound question, from someone who probably just wanted some suggestions on what she should have at her wedding. But therein is the beauty of the question: how do you choose the songs to play at weddings?
Weddings have to be one of the hardest events to DJ. First, one must consider the makeup and tastes of the wedding itself: what's the social/racial makeup of the wedding? How religious are the participants? Are there any genre preferences outside of the norm? Does the wedding have any "under no circumstances" genres/artists/songs? It's easy to play at a techno club; you go in and play some techno. But to play a wedding, you need to have a pretty good idea of the mood of not just the bride and groom, but the crowd as well.
That's not the only hard part though. The other hard part is controlling the ebb and flow of the crowd. Again, if you're at a techno club, you're dancing nonstop. There's no break, there's no slow down, nothing. You just go. At a wedding, though? A good DJ literally uses his music to guide the attendees to do what they should be doing. Should you be mingling and talking while waiting for the wedding party? Then you'll need some quiet and soft music that doesn't inspire much movement. Need to get the crowd excited for the parties arrival? Pick it up. Dinner time? Calm the crowd down, end the standing conversations, and guide them to their seats. Tone down the music once everyone is sitting so they don't have to yell to talk--but make sure it's loud enough to be heard over the din. Guide the attendees to pay attention to cake cutting, toasts, etc.
And then the dancing begins.
You have to get the older folks to dance. You have to get the kids to dance. You have to slow dance. You have to insert the current popular dance trend. You have to keep the energy moving and get people to keep dancing...but not at such a frantic pace that they burn themselves out and go home early. You have to play popular music, but have a good enough ear to know that "popular and often requested song" doesn't mean it's a good dance song, and can kill a dance floor if you play that.
Then, of course, it's your job to calm everyone down and close out the evening...while making them happy to be on their way.
Having a great DJ on your wedding day is the same as having a great Best Man: yeah, you can get through the day with a mediocre one...but if you want any chance to have a really good and memorable wedding, you need to have someone who really knows what they're doing out there.
With that in mind, I made this list. I tried to come up with good categories for the various types of music so you can get a feel for not only when, but why these are good songs to play. I've also left off some timeless classics/must haves that are an absolute asswhip to all involved. Case in point, there will be no Chicken Dance at my wedding.
Frank
Frank Sinatra gets his own section. I am of the firm belief that any DJ who doesn't play at least 3 Frank songs should never be allowed to DJ a wedding. Here's a great breakdown of how and when to use Frank: once at the reception before the party arrives (gets people in a romantic mood, and gets people to start drinking), one right after all the Parent/Sibling & First Dance dances (assuming Frank isn't one of those dances, which is perfectly acceptable), and one as the evening winds down (great as the final dance of the night). My favorites are Under My Skin, Too Marvelous, I Won't Dance, The Way You Look Tonight.
80's Music
Got to have some good 80's hits in there, but beware of The Rule of Popular: just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's a good dance song.
* REO Speedwagon, Knight In Shining Armor. Good song while everyone is eating; a nice conversation starter.
* Boston, More Than A Feeling. A classic "everyone--no matter the age--loves this song".
* Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse Of The Heart. A must play since Old School so brilliantly, shall we say, adapted this song.
* Bon Jovi, Livin On A Prayer. Women LOVE this song.
Country
This is for the die hard country fans, and yes, I left Friends In Low Places off intentionally. It's overplayed, and if you think about the lyrics, is really an awful thing to play at a friends wedding. We'll see some more mainstream country in the Slow Dance section.
* Billy Cunningham, Starts With An I.
* Gary Allen, The One.
* Kenny Chesney, She's Got It All.
* Travis Tritt, Great Day To Be Alive. This song belongs in the Fun Song section as well, but it's so die hard country I'll place it here. Fantastic song that even if you hate country music you end up liking because of its energy. A good wedding party intro song, or good for the bride and groom to leave on for a heavy country wedding.
Techno/Fast Dance
* Fatboy Slim, Night. At least one Fatboy song should be played at every wedding. Qualifies as techno, but the mainstream crowd is cool with him.
* The Crystal Method, Get Busy Child. The name alone makes it a great wedding song. Make sure you play the short version though; the CD version is wayyyyyy too long.
* Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby. Don't laugh. This is a must play at weddings, and is still a popular enough dance song (especially in the 25+ bracket) that it still counts as a Fast Dance and not a Fun Song.
Pop
* Justin Timberlake, Sexyback. Sigh...it's not even worth the fight fellas. Just let it be played.
* Toad The Wet Sprocket, All I Want. Good song to start picking up the pace after dinner, or towards the end of cake cutting/toasts/etc.
* Sugarbomb, Hello. God I love this song.
* Fergie, Glamorous. For you Kortney. For you :-)
R&B
I'll give R&B it's own genre separate from Slow Dance since I love it so much, those most of these can be used there.
* Joe, Don't Wanna Be A Playa. Just kidding.
* Barry White, First, Last, Everything.
* Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrell, Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
* Van Morrisson, Brown Eyed Girl. Obviously, only if the bride has brown eyes.
* Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On. This and the next song are great "going for the garter" songs.
* Silkk, Freak Me. Anyone familiar with this song is smiling right now. And yes, I'm serious.
* Jagged Edge, Let’s Get Married. The original, not the remix.
* Alicia Keys, If I Ain’t Got You.
Fun Songs
These songs can't be the best to dance to, and in some instances are barely really songs, but people love them and are great change of pace songs.
* The Hamster Dance. Why do people play the stupid Chicken Dance and do those ridiculous looking hand motions (I won't insult dances by calling it a dance) when they could play the pure, unadulterated greatness of The Hampster Dance? The Hampster Dance is replacing the Chicken Dance at my wedding! F you, Chicken Dance!
* Rednex, Cotton Eyed Joe. If the The Hampster Dance is too much for you, then go with the Cotton Eyed Joe over the Chicken Dance. Please. Do it for me. I will end that song!
* Eric Prydz, Call On Me. You can kill two birds with one stone on this song: it absolutely counts as a Techno song, and fans of the video can't help but smiling, laughing, and dancing when the song comes on.
* Paperboy, Ditty. I don't know why...but women LOVE this song. Play it after dinner after the girls have had a coupla rounds, and enjoy the results.
* Sir Mix A Lot, Baby Got Back. Everyone from Parker is nodding right now.
Pick Me Ups
Not the best dance songs here, but great when you can feel the energy of the crowd dimming or low and you want it to pick back up. This is how you tell a true master from a generic DJ: don't use these and you don't have enough energy to last the night; use them too much and no one dances. You need to get it just right.
* Nickleback, Far Away. Great rock/love/high energy song. Really good song to play at a wedding because it covers so much ground.
* Orleans, Still The One. This might be one of the worst album covers of all time...but it's a great song, and the elder generation LOVES this song. You want to get the 40+ crowd dancing, drop this.
* Sister Hazel, All For You.
* Carlos Santana f/ Chad Kroeger, Why Don't You And I Get Together. MUST get the Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickleback), not the other version. The Kroeger version is harder to find.
* Kylie Minogue, Love At First Sight. One for Bob's wedding, for sure.
* Lionel Richie, You Are The Sun. Great energy, great feeling, awesome song.
Genres
These are the genres where you need to play one, maybe two songs at the most from each of these, but that's it. This is the most common area that The Rule of Popular is violated; you might love Rap or Death Metal, and I might love it too, but that doesn't make it good wedding music. Hit it quick and move on.
* Jazz, Corinne Bailey Rae, Trouble Sleepin. You could count this as R&B, but I think of it more as Jazz.
* Mambo, Lou Bega, Mambo #5. Make fun of me all you want; I love this song. A classic "you can't be in a bad mood while listening to this song".
* Salsa, The Gypsy Kings, Bamboleo.
* Salsa, Antonio Banderas, Cancion del Mariachi. The song from Desperado. Please remember not to kick anyone in the face at a wedding.
* Swing, Generic Swing Band, Generic Modern Swing Song. Doesn't really matter. Zoot Suit Riot is probably most popular. You must have at least one Swing song.
Oldies
* Three Dog Night, Joy To The World. Great message, and your Dad will love you.
* Wilson Picket, Land of 1000 Dances. The name says it all.
* The Isley Brothers, Shout. Another song that is ALWAYS played at weddings...for good reason with this one though.
* Bad Company, All Right Now. Good energy song at the end of dinner.
Slow Dance
Last but definitely not least, your slow dance songs. Here’s the best of the best.
* Dashboard Confessional, Stolen. There’s a big difference between the album and the major release, and I like the release better, though it is almost too fast to be a slow dance. This one is a bit of a tweener, and might be best as the wedding party arrives.
* Jodeci, Forever My Lady or Love You For Life. One or the other. Could either be R&B or here…for some reason that I can’t even explain, I like it here better.
* Old 97’s, Question. Great slow dance, or also great to play in the background for cake cutting activities.
* Huey Lewis & The News, Doin It All For My Baby. Perhaps my favorite song.
* Lifehouse, You And Me. This might be the most romantic song ever.
* Colbie Caillat, Magic. Play this as one of the last coupla songs of the evening.
* Boyz II Men, Bended Knee.
* Extreme, More Than Words. For my generation, this is THE Middle School dance song. Guaranteed to get everyone from my generation dancing.
* The Fray, Look After You.
* Bryan Adams, I Do It For You. In the early 90’s, you were legally required to play this song at weddings. Obviously that meant it got way overplayed, but there is a reason it got played so much: it is a great love song from a fantastic singer.
* Shania Twain, You’re Still The One. The late 90’s version of the above song. Same comments apply here.
* Savage Garden, I Knew I Loved You or Truly Madly Deeply. Not only are these great love songs, but your gay friends will be really impressed if you drop Savage Garden on them.
* Sara Evans, Could Not Ask For More. The first in the line of “modern country songs that were pop/mainstream enough that they satisfy the country fan while not really sounding like a country song.”
* Keith Urban, Your Everything. Ditto.
* Martina McBride, Anything & Everything. See above.
* Mr. Big, To Be With You. So much more than just and 80’s song. This is a must play at any wedding, and a guaranteed crowd favorite.
* Edwin McCain, I’ll Be.
* Dean Martin, Ain’t That A Kick To The Head?. A little faster paced, but a guaranteed get the elder generation dancing song.
* Donna Lewis, Always Forever. Make fun of me if you will, but I LOVE this song. Fantastic, beautiful song that should be a lot more popular to play at weddings. It’s tremendously versatile; great as a slow dance song or as filler during almost any of the evening’s events.
* D’Angelo, Cruisin. I love Smokey Robinson, and no one loves Huey Lewis more than I do, but this is by a mile the best version of this song. With apologies to Lifehouse earlier, this gets my vote for the most romantic song ever. Simply beautiful.
"What are good songs to play at weddings?"
What a deep and profound question, from someone who probably just wanted some suggestions on what she should have at her wedding. But therein is the beauty of the question: how do you choose the songs to play at weddings?
Weddings have to be one of the hardest events to DJ. First, one must consider the makeup and tastes of the wedding itself: what's the social/racial makeup of the wedding? How religious are the participants? Are there any genre preferences outside of the norm? Does the wedding have any "under no circumstances" genres/artists/songs? It's easy to play at a techno club; you go in and play some techno. But to play a wedding, you need to have a pretty good idea of the mood of not just the bride and groom, but the crowd as well.
That's not the only hard part though. The other hard part is controlling the ebb and flow of the crowd. Again, if you're at a techno club, you're dancing nonstop. There's no break, there's no slow down, nothing. You just go. At a wedding, though? A good DJ literally uses his music to guide the attendees to do what they should be doing. Should you be mingling and talking while waiting for the wedding party? Then you'll need some quiet and soft music that doesn't inspire much movement. Need to get the crowd excited for the parties arrival? Pick it up. Dinner time? Calm the crowd down, end the standing conversations, and guide them to their seats. Tone down the music once everyone is sitting so they don't have to yell to talk--but make sure it's loud enough to be heard over the din. Guide the attendees to pay attention to cake cutting, toasts, etc.
And then the dancing begins.
You have to get the older folks to dance. You have to get the kids to dance. You have to slow dance. You have to insert the current popular dance trend. You have to keep the energy moving and get people to keep dancing...but not at such a frantic pace that they burn themselves out and go home early. You have to play popular music, but have a good enough ear to know that "popular and often requested song" doesn't mean it's a good dance song, and can kill a dance floor if you play that.
Then, of course, it's your job to calm everyone down and close out the evening...while making them happy to be on their way.
Having a great DJ on your wedding day is the same as having a great Best Man: yeah, you can get through the day with a mediocre one...but if you want any chance to have a really good and memorable wedding, you need to have someone who really knows what they're doing out there.
With that in mind, I made this list. I tried to come up with good categories for the various types of music so you can get a feel for not only when, but why these are good songs to play. I've also left off some timeless classics/must haves that are an absolute asswhip to all involved. Case in point, there will be no Chicken Dance at my wedding.
Frank
Frank Sinatra gets his own section. I am of the firm belief that any DJ who doesn't play at least 3 Frank songs should never be allowed to DJ a wedding. Here's a great breakdown of how and when to use Frank: once at the reception before the party arrives (gets people in a romantic mood, and gets people to start drinking), one right after all the Parent/Sibling & First Dance dances (assuming Frank isn't one of those dances, which is perfectly acceptable), and one as the evening winds down (great as the final dance of the night). My favorites are Under My Skin, Too Marvelous, I Won't Dance, The Way You Look Tonight.
80's Music
Got to have some good 80's hits in there, but beware of The Rule of Popular: just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's a good dance song.
* REO Speedwagon, Knight In Shining Armor. Good song while everyone is eating; a nice conversation starter.
* Boston, More Than A Feeling. A classic "everyone--no matter the age--loves this song".
* Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse Of The Heart. A must play since Old School so brilliantly, shall we say, adapted this song.
* Bon Jovi, Livin On A Prayer. Women LOVE this song.
Country
This is for the die hard country fans, and yes, I left Friends In Low Places off intentionally. It's overplayed, and if you think about the lyrics, is really an awful thing to play at a friends wedding. We'll see some more mainstream country in the Slow Dance section.
* Billy Cunningham, Starts With An I.
* Gary Allen, The One.
* Kenny Chesney, She's Got It All.
* Travis Tritt, Great Day To Be Alive. This song belongs in the Fun Song section as well, but it's so die hard country I'll place it here. Fantastic song that even if you hate country music you end up liking because of its energy. A good wedding party intro song, or good for the bride and groom to leave on for a heavy country wedding.
Techno/Fast Dance
* Fatboy Slim, Night. At least one Fatboy song should be played at every wedding. Qualifies as techno, but the mainstream crowd is cool with him.
* The Crystal Method, Get Busy Child. The name alone makes it a great wedding song. Make sure you play the short version though; the CD version is wayyyyyy too long.
* Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby. Don't laugh. This is a must play at weddings, and is still a popular enough dance song (especially in the 25+ bracket) that it still counts as a Fast Dance and not a Fun Song.
Pop
* Justin Timberlake, Sexyback. Sigh...it's not even worth the fight fellas. Just let it be played.
* Toad The Wet Sprocket, All I Want. Good song to start picking up the pace after dinner, or towards the end of cake cutting/toasts/etc.
* Sugarbomb, Hello. God I love this song.
* Fergie, Glamorous. For you Kortney. For you :-)
R&B
I'll give R&B it's own genre separate from Slow Dance since I love it so much, those most of these can be used there.
* Joe, Don't Wanna Be A Playa. Just kidding.
* Barry White, First, Last, Everything.
* Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrell, Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
* Van Morrisson, Brown Eyed Girl. Obviously, only if the bride has brown eyes.
* Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On. This and the next song are great "going for the garter" songs.
* Silkk, Freak Me. Anyone familiar with this song is smiling right now. And yes, I'm serious.
* Jagged Edge, Let’s Get Married. The original, not the remix.
* Alicia Keys, If I Ain’t Got You.
Fun Songs
These songs can't be the best to dance to, and in some instances are barely really songs, but people love them and are great change of pace songs.
* The Hamster Dance. Why do people play the stupid Chicken Dance and do those ridiculous looking hand motions (I won't insult dances by calling it a dance) when they could play the pure, unadulterated greatness of The Hampster Dance? The Hampster Dance is replacing the Chicken Dance at my wedding! F you, Chicken Dance!
* Rednex, Cotton Eyed Joe. If the The Hampster Dance is too much for you, then go with the Cotton Eyed Joe over the Chicken Dance. Please. Do it for me. I will end that song!
* Eric Prydz, Call On Me. You can kill two birds with one stone on this song: it absolutely counts as a Techno song, and fans of the video can't help but smiling, laughing, and dancing when the song comes on.
* Paperboy, Ditty. I don't know why...but women LOVE this song. Play it after dinner after the girls have had a coupla rounds, and enjoy the results.
* Sir Mix A Lot, Baby Got Back. Everyone from Parker is nodding right now.
Pick Me Ups
Not the best dance songs here, but great when you can feel the energy of the crowd dimming or low and you want it to pick back up. This is how you tell a true master from a generic DJ: don't use these and you don't have enough energy to last the night; use them too much and no one dances. You need to get it just right.
* Nickleback, Far Away. Great rock/love/high energy song. Really good song to play at a wedding because it covers so much ground.
* Orleans, Still The One. This might be one of the worst album covers of all time...but it's a great song, and the elder generation LOVES this song. You want to get the 40+ crowd dancing, drop this.
* Sister Hazel, All For You.
* Carlos Santana f/ Chad Kroeger, Why Don't You And I Get Together. MUST get the Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickleback), not the other version. The Kroeger version is harder to find.
* Kylie Minogue, Love At First Sight. One for Bob's wedding, for sure.
* Lionel Richie, You Are The Sun. Great energy, great feeling, awesome song.
Genres
These are the genres where you need to play one, maybe two songs at the most from each of these, but that's it. This is the most common area that The Rule of Popular is violated; you might love Rap or Death Metal, and I might love it too, but that doesn't make it good wedding music. Hit it quick and move on.
* Jazz, Corinne Bailey Rae, Trouble Sleepin. You could count this as R&B, but I think of it more as Jazz.
* Mambo, Lou Bega, Mambo #5. Make fun of me all you want; I love this song. A classic "you can't be in a bad mood while listening to this song".
* Salsa, The Gypsy Kings, Bamboleo.
* Salsa, Antonio Banderas, Cancion del Mariachi. The song from Desperado. Please remember not to kick anyone in the face at a wedding.
* Swing, Generic Swing Band, Generic Modern Swing Song. Doesn't really matter. Zoot Suit Riot is probably most popular. You must have at least one Swing song.
Oldies
* Three Dog Night, Joy To The World. Great message, and your Dad will love you.
* Wilson Picket, Land of 1000 Dances. The name says it all.
* The Isley Brothers, Shout. Another song that is ALWAYS played at weddings...for good reason with this one though.
* Bad Company, All Right Now. Good energy song at the end of dinner.
Slow Dance
Last but definitely not least, your slow dance songs. Here’s the best of the best.
* Dashboard Confessional, Stolen. There’s a big difference between the album and the major release, and I like the release better, though it is almost too fast to be a slow dance. This one is a bit of a tweener, and might be best as the wedding party arrives.
* Jodeci, Forever My Lady or Love You For Life. One or the other. Could either be R&B or here…for some reason that I can’t even explain, I like it here better.
* Old 97’s, Question. Great slow dance, or also great to play in the background for cake cutting activities.
* Huey Lewis & The News, Doin It All For My Baby. Perhaps my favorite song.
* Lifehouse, You And Me. This might be the most romantic song ever.
* Colbie Caillat, Magic. Play this as one of the last coupla songs of the evening.
* Boyz II Men, Bended Knee.
* Extreme, More Than Words. For my generation, this is THE Middle School dance song. Guaranteed to get everyone from my generation dancing.
* The Fray, Look After You.
* Bryan Adams, I Do It For You. In the early 90’s, you were legally required to play this song at weddings. Obviously that meant it got way overplayed, but there is a reason it got played so much: it is a great love song from a fantastic singer.
* Shania Twain, You’re Still The One. The late 90’s version of the above song. Same comments apply here.
* Savage Garden, I Knew I Loved You or Truly Madly Deeply. Not only are these great love songs, but your gay friends will be really impressed if you drop Savage Garden on them.
* Sara Evans, Could Not Ask For More. The first in the line of “modern country songs that were pop/mainstream enough that they satisfy the country fan while not really sounding like a country song.”
* Keith Urban, Your Everything. Ditto.
* Martina McBride, Anything & Everything. See above.
* Mr. Big, To Be With You. So much more than just and 80’s song. This is a must play at any wedding, and a guaranteed crowd favorite.
* Edwin McCain, I’ll Be.
* Dean Martin, Ain’t That A Kick To The Head?. A little faster paced, but a guaranteed get the elder generation dancing song.
* Donna Lewis, Always Forever. Make fun of me if you will, but I LOVE this song. Fantastic, beautiful song that should be a lot more popular to play at weddings. It’s tremendously versatile; great as a slow dance song or as filler during almost any of the evening’s events.
* D’Angelo, Cruisin. I love Smokey Robinson, and no one loves Huey Lewis more than I do, but this is by a mile the best version of this song. With apologies to Lifehouse earlier, this gets my vote for the most romantic song ever. Simply beautiful.
Labels: weddings
posted by Michael Pondrom at 10:19 PM
4 comments
