The 100-0 Game

One of my favorite characters on Penny Arcade (okay, one of many) is Jesus, the Christ. Not only do Jesus and I share an affinity for the same games (Jesus loves Street Fighter and Mario Kart), but he offers a bit of advice that I think is outstanding, and that everyone should live by. Jesus says:

"Don't be a dick."

And--as always--The Lord of Hosts is right. If people would just act with respect and deceny towards one another, and be considerate of their fellow men, then the world would be a better place.

Unfortunately, though, most people act like dicks. Thus is the case of the 100-0 basketball game.

As any who read this know, I'm a basketball player. Have been since seventh grade. I've also coached many times in my life, ranging from adults to kids (seventh and eigth graders). So I am very qualified to throw my two cents into this issue.

Here's a synopsis of what happened: in Dallas, The Covenant--one of the best private school teams in the state--beat Dallas Acadamy--a school that specializes in special needs/learning disabled kids--100-0. The Covenant pressed the entire game--coincidentally, until they reached 100 points--which was midway throught the fourth quarter. The score soon became a national story--it was addressed on PTI & Around The Horn on ESPN--and Covenant officials the next day apologized to the Dallas Acadamey for the lopsided game. About a week later, when Micah Grimes (Covenant coach) posted a comment online that he disagreed with the school apologizing, he was fired. That's the skinny.

Okay. I believe it's been well established here that I am opposed to the forced mediocrity that is becoming PC in this country. I've spoken before that when an athlete steps on a court, it's their repsonsibility to be prepared for any outcome--a 40 point win, or a 40 point loss. I've had 40 point wins as a player and a coach, and I've had 40 point losses as both. It's part of being an athlete: some days, you go out and win big; some days, you go out and get your ass kicked. You have to deal with it, and there's nothing wrong with that.

That being said, in any sport, whether you're a player or a coach, when you play on a good team, you invariable will play a team that is far beneath you, skill wise. It's a fact of life. You can tell within the first play or two that no matter how poorly your team plays, you're not only going to win, but you're going to win big. I played in a game like that not two weeks ago. Here, then, is a guide to how you act as a player or a coach in that situation, since too many people are too stupid or egotistical to figure this out:

1) DO NOT GET HURT. By far the most important rule, and the thing I fear most when you are playing much less skilled opponents. Opponents of less skill do strange things that don't make sense, and often violate the unwritten, "you just don't do that kind of thing because someone can get really hurt doing it". Why? Because they don't know any better, or because they have poor skills and just get in the way. So don't go out there and try to dunk on them or other actions that really embarrass them, because you can EASILY get hurt doing that. It's simple self preservation.
2) Play your worst players. These guys work hard in practice, do all the little things, and just ache for a time to shine. Well, now's their chance. There's no way you're going to lose, so sit your starters the entire game if you have to--it can also be a good learning experience for them, letting them know what sitting feels like--and let your worst players get a chance to have some fun.
3) Work on things you're not good at. This is what we did in the aforementioned game two weeks ago. Gangstalicious runs a pretty devastating 2-3 zone that generates lots of steals and blocked shots. So what did we do? We played man to man, didn't trap, and worked on that since that's an area we need to work on. It was good practice for us, and it led to the other time getting a coupla easy baskets when--as usual, which is why we needed to work on this--we didn't communicate well on who was guarding whom and a guy was left open. Both teams win.
4) Have fun. Encourage your players to do things they don't normally do. Let your big man shoot a three or two. Try a different type of offense that you're never practiced but the kids have always wanted to try. Basically, just roll out the ball and let them have some fun.
5) Finally, most importantly, don't try specifically to run up the score. Don't press. Don't fast break every time you get the ball. If you're a good 3 point shooting team, don't specifically bomb away from the outside. Don't play your starters the whole game.

Do what Jesus says. Don't be a dick.

From every report I've read, Micah Grimes was a dick. This guy realized he could score 100 points in a game, decided he wanted to do it, and did whatever he had to to reach that goal against a team who he knew had no chance of competing against him. That's a dick thing to do. When he then refused to apologize for it, well, then he deserved to get fired. I would not have insisted on him getting fired--I could have lived with just a suspension--but if that's what the school felt like they needed to do, then so be it.

Like is quite often the case, it's not the final score that matters. Two fairly equal skilled teams can play on any given day in any sport, and one of them can end up killing the other. There's nothing wrong with that. But when two unmatched teams play, and the coach acts like an ass and does whatever he can to embarrass the other team...well, then that guy needs to learn a lesson, and if losing his job is the only way to learn that lesson, then so be it.

That's what you get for being a dick.

Final Thoughts on the Bush Administration...& First Thoughts on the Obama Administration

The final days of the Bush Administration have left me with three main emotions: impressed, sad, and frustrated.

I've been very impressed with the class and dignity Bush has shown in his final days, in a complete 180 from his scumbag predecessor, Bill Clinton. One could easily describe Bush as eager to pass the torch to Obama; he almost immediately met with him after his win, and set the tone for bipartisan partnership by immediately working with him instead of foolishly clinging to his last coupla weeks and trying to push his own agenda. Bush seemed relieved to be leaving Washington, didn't pardon true criminals just because he happened to know them, and left happy with the person who was taking his place. Bush's actions showed, once again, that no matter what you thought of his politics, he was a man of class and dignity who truly respected the office he held for eight years, and that should impress every American.

I was also impressed because, looking back, Bush did have more successes that people had a tendency to remember. Bush was a fantastic leader after September 11th who was instrumental in America rediscovering its courage, sense of peace, and sense of safety. Another important fact that is overlooked is this: If you'd come up to someone on September 12, 2001, and asked them if they thought the US would be a victim of another terrorist attack by 2009, EVERYONE would have answered yes, right? None of us thought it would be possible to live through seven years of peace at home. Bush deserves to be commended for that; that is a MONUMENTAL achievement that everyone is overlooking.

That being said, however, it's hard to look at Bush's presidency as anything other than a failure. Bush inherited an economy that had serious long term flaws, and rather than correct these flaws for the good of the long term at the expense of the short, Bush exacerbated these flaws, hurting the economy even more in the future. He allowed rampant collusion to occur in the oil & gas industry, totally screwing over consumers in the process. While I still believe that invading Iraq was the right decision, almost every other decision made regarding that event--from how it was handled in the media to deciding on an overall plan--was handled poorly until Robert Gates entered the administration. Prison abuses tarnished the US reputation, and too much time was wasted debating social topics that paled in comparison to important national issues like health care and social security reform, which changed little during his time. And finally, he never managed to capture Public Enemy #1: Osama Bin Laden. Sadly, I think when we look back at Bush's presidency, we probably would have to consider him one of the top five worst presidents, and certainly in the top ten.

In the end, though, I'm mostly frustrated, because I believe George Bush got screwed over by everyone. I've always believed that Bush never wanted to be President; I think that Bush was strong-armed into running by the radical majority that unfortunately ruled (hopefully ruled and no longer rules) the Republican party because they thought he could win on his name. I think Bush agreed and trusted his party to do a good job of ruling for him (this is why Bush spent more time out of Washington than any other president, easily blowing away Reagan's vacation record); instead, we were left with a man who is evil (Dick Cheney) running the country. I feel that Bush is a living embodiment of the Peter Principle: he's a good man who was a great Governor of Texas, who unfortunately rose to a level he was not prepared for, and evil and/or incompetent men were able to take advantage of him. George Bush deserved better, and we certainly deserved better.

HOWEVER...there is one other culprit if you're looking to place blame on having the Bush Administration for eight years. That would be the Democratic Party. Why, do you ask? Because even now, using hindsight, if my choices are Bush v Al Gore or John Kerry...I think my answer is still George Bush. That's how little respect I have for those two men. If you think you can do better Democrats, then run someone out there who is worth voting for.

Which is what they did this time, and leads me to my first impressions of Barack Obama. I didn't vote for Obama, and while I do have reservations about him that have already been visited here, I've been impressed with him so far in office. Obama has moved quickly and earnestly in his attempts to revive the economy. He has made good on his promise of a bipartisan cabinet; I've been impressed with the way he seems to add the extremes of both sides of an issue to his Cabinet. You can see both sides vehemently arguing their case in the future, with Obama listening and learning from both, and then (hopefully) choosing the most prudent course of action--which is almost always the one in the middle. He's already mentioned that social security reform is a necessity right now, and basically told the Unions, "Look, you know I'm your boy, but we're in a full blown Recession right now, and I'm not even going to try to placate you until things get better." He's moved quickly and earnestly on some of his difficult campaign promises--like shutting down Guantanamo Bay--without doing so recklessly and without thinking--like giving himself a year to figure out how, exactly, he's going to shut down Guantanamo Bay.

Mostly, though, I've been impressed with Barack Obama the man. This isn't Bill Clinton, the scumbag, coming into office with a sham marriage and a litany of scandals waiting behind him; this is a man who truly loves his family and his country, who is coming into office honestly trying to help his country. Like George Bush, I can give leeway to a good man who is trying to help, even if he makes mistakes. So far I feel the same way with Barack Obama.

So good luck Obama. You're going to need it, because you have a lot of daunting issues out there. But--like every American should, regardless of who they voted for and what their party affiliation is--I'm rooting for you.

Coupla Things...

So obviously I've been on hiatus for a while. I apologize. In return, I'm offering up a monster Coupla Things...even if some of these are pretty dated. Let's get to it!

* I watched M. Night Shamalamadingdong's The Happening last night. I'll say this...it was better than The Village. I think one of the biggest disappointments of Night's career is he seems to have lost any bit of subtely. The 6th Sense was genius because it came from out of nowhere. Unbreakable was great, too, because you didn't see Mr. Glass coming. As his career has gone on, though, his twists have become more and more ridiculous, and more and more obvious. There was no subtle imagery in this movie: huge shots of not one, but two nuclear power plants in the background, huge housing signs that proclaim, "You deserve this!", etc. We get it. You have a message you want to get across. Now can we go back to being creative, please?

* So I've made comments in the past about Putin being a benevolent dictator. Well, sadly, he's dropped the benevolent part. And if you're not concerned about this, then you should be.

* Ladies, I love you. I really do. But sometimes...well, you make it hard.

* For all of you people who want nationalized health care and consider Canada this perfect system, I think you need to look closer. There are cases of people literally dying in ER waiting rooms because of the overcrowding of hospitals, and doctors in Canada are almost to the point of revolting they are so unhappy with the system.

Look, I'm not saying the current system is perfect. Far from it. But to think that handing over our health care to the Federal government and trusting them to run it perfectly is, with all due respect, just stupid. Let's be smart, and try to think of some better, more realistic options.

* The Denver Nuggets are playing great since the acquisition of Chauncey Billups, and everyone in Denver is very excited. But people, I've got bad news for you: the Nuggets will still lose in the first round of the playoffs. And in two years, they are going to be an AWFUL team. I like Chauncey and all, but that's what's going to happen.

* I found this article on adultery facinating, on two levels. The first: can you imagine what would happen in Hollywood if adultery was illegal? That's just hilarious to think about. The second: why isn't adultery illegal?

I support gay marriage because I see a state issued marriage license as exactly what it is: nothing holy, simply a legal document that two people enter into. That's the stance that everyone should take on marriage (whether your church recognizes these marriages is up to the church; as far as I'm concerned, they're two different matters.) So if one member commits adultery, how is that any different from breaking the contract? That's part of the legal arrangement is to be faithful to each other, correct? And when you break any contract, aren't you subject to penalties, up to and including jail time?

Perhaps it shouldn't be a "crime". But the party that commits the offense definitely should be responable for damages; a wife who cheats on her husband definitely should not get half of his estate, nor vice versa, etc. You want to lower the divorce rate and make sure people behave correctly? Then enforce the contracts correctly.

* After Michael Crichton's death, I metioned that I see a difference between authors and writers. Allow me to briefly explain. When I think of an author, I'm typically thinking of a novelist. Someone who writes a book is an author. A writer, though, writes something substancially shorter: a newspaper writer or an internet columnist is a writer. It's a subtle difference, but I do see it.

* Speaking of adultery, enjoy this. Here's a question: why would anyone from a Western Civilization ever vacation in an Islamic country? With all due respect to Islam, but their definition of "fun" and ours are pretty different, as we can see.

* Here's another good Sexploration article from msnbc.com. I enjoy this series for several reasons: it's a very interesting and educational look at what is still a somewhat tabboo subject, the titles (like this one) are always catchy and usually make me laugh, and the picture of the author of most articles (Brian Alexander) CRACKS ME UP. I mean just look at him. If he doesn't fit Seinfeld's personification of an "Orgie Guy", I don't know what does. I mean, if you had to guess what a guy looks like who writes these articles, it'd be that guy, right? Good times.

* Okay...am I the only one who feels dumber any time I hear Wade Philips or Bill Walton speak?

* Listen people, Illinois' governor (I'm not going to even try to spell his name) trying to sell Obama's Senate seat is not Obama's fault. Period. And it's in pretty poor taste for the guy appointed to show up, because if he was really an honorable man, he would only want to join the Senate if he knew it was deserved. But hey, I'm old fashioned, I guess.

* Don't get me wrong, I hate Setphon Marbury as much as the rest of the world, but you've got to admit that him showing up to watch the Knicks play the Lakers is kind of funny.

* Hey, I think I remember these lawyers! Aren't these guys the same dumbasses who represented Mike Tyson with the, "Hey, she deserved it!" defense? I've already written about the housing mess, so I don't need to go too much into it here. But I will say this: homeowners, you're responsible for the contracts you signed. If you signed a bad contract and can't afford it, well, then that's your fault. That being said, though, if lenders are asking for Federal funds while advertising that they want to work with homeowners to refinance, then they God damn well better be doing that. Period.

* Let's discuss your Dallas Mavericks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the people of Dallas need to accept the fact that this is a very mediocre team. They're better than the bad teams, their not as good as the good teams. The Mavs have only one hope left: to turn Jason Kidd's expiring contract into young talent. That's it. That's all they've got.

If I'm the Mavs, I'm moving Josh Howard at the trade deadline, and I'm willing to take $.50 on the dollar for him, talent wise. Next, I'm moving Jason Kidd, but not necessarily for a player. I'm moving Jason Kidd for either a young player with potential (Pat Reilly hates Michael Beasley and needs a PG; you think Kidd wouldn't be a good fit in the East? You think Reilly wouldn't mind losing Beasley? That kind of thing); not Derrick Rose potential, but upside, or I'm trading him for cap space. Both of those moves also include some at least halfway decent draft picks. I'm also taking any deal that gets the Diop (possible), Stackhouse (possible), or Dampier (impossible) contracts off the books. I spend my free space wisely (which we haven't done lately; again, see Diop, Desigana), I draft well, and in 2-3 years I'm hopefully competitive again with younger talent while Dirk still has some legs left.

If we can't pull that off, then sadly, the only other option is to blow the whole thing up, and start over. And yes, that means moving Dirk. And the thought of that makes me want to cry.

This is the Mavs last chance. Their only hope is to make something happen with Kidd's contract. It's the only real chip they have left to play, unless someone gets drunk and makes a stupid offer for Howard, which I don't see happening. The Mavs future will be decided by February 19th.

* Finally, I'll leave you with these thoughts from the Sports Guy, validating once again my assertion that A) David Stern screwed the Mavericks over so Mark Cuban wouldn't win a title, and B) that the Miami Heat are the worst team to ever win an NBA championship, and are possibly the worst team to win a championship in any sport:

Q: Can you guess which two jerseys the Heat have retired? Michael Jordan's and Dan Marino's. Quite a franchise.
-Ian S., New York City
SG: I've confirmed it on the Internet and still can't believe it. Preposterous. Is it too late to retroactively void Miami's 2006 title? We already had plenty of ammo after Games 3 and 6 were rigged and the fans did the whole everyone-wears-white-T-shirts-to-playoff-games gimmick. Isn't this the final piece of the puzzle? I can't take it. Marino and Jordan? Why not put Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas up there?

Please God, let the Mavs get this right.