The Last Word on the Sarah Palin Experience

I wanted to write about this topic after the election, but I didn't because I wanted to stay positive about the many good things that happened. However, it's a topic that needs to be addressed, so we'll discuss it now.

The media and the Republican Party's treatment of Sarah Palin has been absolutely revolting.

We crossed the line from the normal bullshit "this is the candidate we don't like" coverage to just plain petty, spiteful, and untrue. Allow me to address these topics one at a time:

* The claim that Palin didn't know that Africa is a continent is riGoddamndiculous. She's the Governor of Alaska. She's a fucking college graduate. She knows what a continent is. Shame on you.
* The whole shopping spree thing...first of all, I'm doubting she spent as much money as they said she did. For the sake of argument, however, let's say that she did. WHO FUCKING CARES? She's the first female VP candidate! She needs to look her best at every minute of every day. Really, you don't think men aren't going to judge her on her appearance? You don't think women are going to judge her on her appearance? What woman do you know that doesn't read Cosmo, Elle, Allure, or some other fashion mag? NONE!!!! THAT'S ALL WOMEN DO IS JUDGE OTHER WOMEN BY THEIR APPEARANCE! Sorry ladies...but if Palin has proved anything, it's that the toughest glass ceiling a female politician is going to have to crack is the one that her fellow girls built over her head.

And as for buying the rest of her family clothes...really? You don't think she should have done that? What was the first issue on her campaign: her family and the issues therein. In today's "What's Lindsey Lohan's sister wearing today" world, you don't think it was necessary for all of her family to dress well? Listen you faukers, you're the ones who go out and buy fashion mags nonstop, and watch E! News and What Not To Wear and all that crap. THIS IS THE SOCIETY THAT WE CREATED, AND WE HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME FOR IT BUT OURSELVES. So please, let's not penalize the lady for going out and buying the most expensive clothes for her and her family, because yes, we would hold it against her if she did not do so.

* The answering the door in the towel thing. So apparently here's what happened: two McCain staffers came to her hotel room to speak to her about strategerie, Palin answered the door in the towel wrap--you know, just like we've all seen a million women do in our lives--told the guys to come on in and chill with her husband in the living room area while she finished getting ready. Apparently these two yes men were flabbergasted by this.

Hey yes men: FUCK YOU!!!

This is one of the most sexist things I've heard of in a long time. How is this an issue? So McCain and Obama never did an interview/discussed strategy while working out with their shirt off in the gym? Never discussed politics in the locker room, or the steam room, and they never had to let someone into their room right after the got out of the shower?

If I had to guess, I would say that candidates are working what...20 hours a day? At least? Probably about the only sleep they get is on the plane/bus from place to place. So I'm sorry, I have no problem if Palin...or McCain...or Obama...or Biden...answer the door to their rooms in their towels, and tell THEIR FUCKING STAFFERS to go into the other room and wait for them to get ready. I admire the hard work all four of them put in during this difficult season. To claim that Palin was doing the most to maximize her time is somehow inappropriate is just ridiculously sexist.

As for the Republicans, I have news for you. Here's the top five reasons John McCain lost the Presidential election:

1. John McCain was attached to the Republican Party, which is attached to the personification of Evil, Dick Chaney.
2. John McCain was attached to the Republican Party, which is attached to George Bush, whose Presidency is one of the worst of all time.
3. John McCain was attached to the Republican Party, which had control of Congress and the Presidency for almost two full terms and did nothing to improve the country.
4. John McCain's pivotal moment during the campaign--the time out he called to try to fix the economy--was a total and complete failure in which he appeared to hurt the situation more than he helped it.
5. Sarah Palin's addition as VP didn't add any new voters to the Republican Ticket.

What do you notice on that list? You notice Palin's name didn't occur until Number 5, and that was a DISTANT five. The Republican loss wasn't because of Sarah Palin, it was because of the almost complete failure of the Republican Party in the last five years. Nice try pinning it on the girl, but as Truman said, the buck stops here. YOU all had the opportunity to do great work for this country, and YOU didn't. That's the reason you lost. End of story.

Finally, to be fair, I will say this to critique Palin, both to show that I'm not just a blind Palin-lover, and because I think it's both true and something that needs to be said to her:

Sarah...you're through.

I'm sorry Sarah, but you're done. You're not running for President in 2012. You're not running for President in 2016. Your job was to excite the populace and inspire women and moderates to vote for you. Fairly or not, you did neither. It doesn't matter whether the criticism laid on you by your fellow fems was fair, it doesn't matter whether the media's portrayal of you was correct. What matters is a simple question: did people go out and vote for you? The answer was an obvious no, and given how hostile both of those groups were towards you, there's no reason to think that will change in four years. There's no reason to think that will change in even eight years. So quit talking about it, quit hinting at it, and quit trying to stay in the national spotlight. Enjoy your fifteen minutes, be proud of the landmark you did accomplish, and go back to being Governor of Alaska. Maybe you can be Alaska's Senator, but that's about as good as it's going to get for you. Like it or not, you're done. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.

So there you go. The Sarah Palin experience is now over. One thing, in the end, we can all agree on, no matter what our stance, beliefs, and prejudices were against her: she definitely made things more interesting.

Good night, and good luck.