A Break
No, I'm not taking a break from the blog--it just seems that way, and I apologize.
No, I'm referring to taking A Break while in a serious relationship--the words everyone loves to hear that women like to say to men, "I think we should take A Break."
This is why I hate Friends. This all started when Ross & Rachel took A Break in Season 3 of friends. I didn't care for the show then...and I fucking hated it after that happened, as it inspired women everywhere to go out and take A Break of their own.
Oh yes ladies. You did. You weren't cool from 1997 to about 2002 if you didn't take at least one Break if you were in a serious relationship. Hell, you can make the argument that it's still the cool thing to do to this day. It's so predictable it's infuriating: get worked up over some drama--usually fairly pointless, as if it was a real issue you would just break up with the person--take A Break, go out with your girlfriends and complain about your boyfriend and how much you love him in spite of his flaws, get the required sympathy from your girlfriends (that's the most important part), have a couple of nights to go out and flirt with guys at a bar and feel single again, and then when you're done with your mid-relationship crisis (yes, it is just like a mid-life crisis), your man is waiting to take you back again.
That's A Break: that's what Ross & Rachel taught women to do, when it goes perfectly. But as in Friends, and as in Real Life, how often do things go perfectly? So let's go over some rules for taking A Break (including answering the who was right/who was wrong question in "The One the Morning After"), and then talk about whether or not it really helps a relationship.
Rule Number 1: A Break begins when one person declares A Break--and not before. This is a big one. Some people use A Break as a guilt-free means of cheating. "I met this girl at the club a coupla weeks ago...we hit it off...talked to her on the phone some...she's a club girl, so not a potential girlfriend, but man I want to hit that...I know! I'll have a fight with my girlfriend, take A Break, hit that, and then we'll end the break." Yeah. Nice try asshole. You want to go on A Break, and you have a girl/guy set up and waiting for you, that's just cheating, and shame on you.
Rule Number 2: Once in A Break...both sides are single. That's what A Break is. Look at the word! "Break" is part of "breaking up". If you decide you just want some time alone to think, then say, "Look, I need some time (it's best to specify the amount) to think about things and where I want to go with us". In that case, you're still obviously together. But if you ask for A Break, which dictionary.com defines as "to dissolve or annul", well, guess what? You've just said you're both single. Deal with it.
Rule Number 3: Be careful what you wish for... Here we get to the Ross & Rachel situation. For those of you who don't know what happened--and I looked it up to make sure I got it right--Rachel asked Ross for A Break. A despondent Ross met up with Joey and Chandler who had gone to meet some girl at a club. Well, Ross ended up hooking up with the girl. The next day, Rachel decides she's ready to end The Break. Of course, she finds out Ross hooked up, and is incensed. Ross insists that they were on A Break, and he did nothing wrong.
To Rachel: TOO BAD BITCH!!!! That's right. When you ask for A Break, both sides are single--see Rule Number 2. Just because you have that dream situation we discussed lined up in your head doesn't mean it's going to work that way. If you want to be on A Break, the person you just BROKE UP WITH has every right to go hook up, or even start a relationship--hopefully more stable, satisfying, and fulfilling--with someone else. Again, look at the definition of the fricking word. You wanted time off to be single and alone, you got it. Now live with the repercussions.
Consequently...if the person who called A Break goes out, meets someone new (thus not violating Rule Number 1), and hooks up or starts a new relationship, well, they have not done anything wrong, either. Dude, she broke up with you. If you want to wait around with her in the hopes that she comes back, hey, that's your business. Good luck with that. But make no mistake--you have been broken up with, and he/she is free to move on.
So there you go. Those are the Rules of A Break, which are obviously the simplified rules of Breaking Up With Someone. We've answered that question.
So now to the question of is taking A Break a good thing? Can it help a relationship? Do some couples need time away from each other to sort things out?
The answer, of course, is no. If you're in a serious relationship with someone--and that's the only time you take A Break, the rest of the time you just stop seeing that person--you can't backslide. Look at The Relationship Process! Do you see any backwards arrows after you hit "Girlfriend"? No. You don't. When you're in a serious relationship, you are trying to decide if you want to live the rest of your life with this person. Do you get to take A Break when you are married? No! Of course not. So if you can't work through your problems before you're married, what makes you think you'll be able to work through your problems after you're married? That's right. You can't. So no. No Breaks. If you're with someone and you can't solve problems without stepping away from them, then you shouldn't be with them. It's as simple as that.
Does this mean you can't take some time to compliment the person you are with and your situation? As we discussed earlier, no, of course not. But that doesn't mean you're on A Break--it means you just need some time to think before you commit your life to the person you're with. It does not mean either of you are suddenly single again. And if you have to take time more than once or twice, well, then, that's a sign in and of itself.
So there you go. No Breaks. A Break is the ultimate in having your cake and eating it to, and we all know that that is not right. So just don't do it. It's the inverse of Nike. And thank you, Friends, for bringing that into the world. The world is a much better place because of it.
No, I'm referring to taking A Break while in a serious relationship--the words everyone loves to hear that women like to say to men, "I think we should take A Break."
This is why I hate Friends. This all started when Ross & Rachel took A Break in Season 3 of friends. I didn't care for the show then...and I fucking hated it after that happened, as it inspired women everywhere to go out and take A Break of their own.
Oh yes ladies. You did. You weren't cool from 1997 to about 2002 if you didn't take at least one Break if you were in a serious relationship. Hell, you can make the argument that it's still the cool thing to do to this day. It's so predictable it's infuriating: get worked up over some drama--usually fairly pointless, as if it was a real issue you would just break up with the person--take A Break, go out with your girlfriends and complain about your boyfriend and how much you love him in spite of his flaws, get the required sympathy from your girlfriends (that's the most important part), have a couple of nights to go out and flirt with guys at a bar and feel single again, and then when you're done with your mid-relationship crisis (yes, it is just like a mid-life crisis), your man is waiting to take you back again.
That's A Break: that's what Ross & Rachel taught women to do, when it goes perfectly. But as in Friends, and as in Real Life, how often do things go perfectly? So let's go over some rules for taking A Break (including answering the who was right/who was wrong question in "The One the Morning After"), and then talk about whether or not it really helps a relationship.
Rule Number 1: A Break begins when one person declares A Break--and not before. This is a big one. Some people use A Break as a guilt-free means of cheating. "I met this girl at the club a coupla weeks ago...we hit it off...talked to her on the phone some...she's a club girl, so not a potential girlfriend, but man I want to hit that...I know! I'll have a fight with my girlfriend, take A Break, hit that, and then we'll end the break." Yeah. Nice try asshole. You want to go on A Break, and you have a girl/guy set up and waiting for you, that's just cheating, and shame on you.
Rule Number 2: Once in A Break...both sides are single. That's what A Break is. Look at the word! "Break" is part of "breaking up". If you decide you just want some time alone to think, then say, "Look, I need some time (it's best to specify the amount) to think about things and where I want to go with us". In that case, you're still obviously together. But if you ask for A Break, which dictionary.com defines as "to dissolve or annul", well, guess what? You've just said you're both single. Deal with it.
Rule Number 3: Be careful what you wish for... Here we get to the Ross & Rachel situation. For those of you who don't know what happened--and I looked it up to make sure I got it right--Rachel asked Ross for A Break. A despondent Ross met up with Joey and Chandler who had gone to meet some girl at a club. Well, Ross ended up hooking up with the girl. The next day, Rachel decides she's ready to end The Break. Of course, she finds out Ross hooked up, and is incensed. Ross insists that they were on A Break, and he did nothing wrong.
To Rachel: TOO BAD BITCH!!!! That's right. When you ask for A Break, both sides are single--see Rule Number 2. Just because you have that dream situation we discussed lined up in your head doesn't mean it's going to work that way. If you want to be on A Break, the person you just BROKE UP WITH has every right to go hook up, or even start a relationship--hopefully more stable, satisfying, and fulfilling--with someone else. Again, look at the definition of the fricking word. You wanted time off to be single and alone, you got it. Now live with the repercussions.
Consequently...if the person who called A Break goes out, meets someone new (thus not violating Rule Number 1), and hooks up or starts a new relationship, well, they have not done anything wrong, either. Dude, she broke up with you. If you want to wait around with her in the hopes that she comes back, hey, that's your business. Good luck with that. But make no mistake--you have been broken up with, and he/she is free to move on.
So there you go. Those are the Rules of A Break, which are obviously the simplified rules of Breaking Up With Someone. We've answered that question.
So now to the question of is taking A Break a good thing? Can it help a relationship? Do some couples need time away from each other to sort things out?
The answer, of course, is no. If you're in a serious relationship with someone--and that's the only time you take A Break, the rest of the time you just stop seeing that person--you can't backslide. Look at The Relationship Process! Do you see any backwards arrows after you hit "Girlfriend"? No. You don't. When you're in a serious relationship, you are trying to decide if you want to live the rest of your life with this person. Do you get to take A Break when you are married? No! Of course not. So if you can't work through your problems before you're married, what makes you think you'll be able to work through your problems after you're married? That's right. You can't. So no. No Breaks. If you're with someone and you can't solve problems without stepping away from them, then you shouldn't be with them. It's as simple as that.
Does this mean you can't take some time to compliment the person you are with and your situation? As we discussed earlier, no, of course not. But that doesn't mean you're on A Break--it means you just need some time to think before you commit your life to the person you're with. It does not mean either of you are suddenly single again. And if you have to take time more than once or twice, well, then, that's a sign in and of itself.
So there you go. No Breaks. A Break is the ultimate in having your cake and eating it to, and we all know that that is not right. So just don't do it. It's the inverse of Nike. And thank you, Friends, for bringing that into the world. The world is a much better place because of it.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 7:10 PM
8 Comments:
One more thing I hate about Friends, which I didn't realize until now: what a cheesy rip on Seinfeld with the names of their episodes. Seinfeld, of course, started the whole "The _____" with the naming of their episodes, which was cool because that's exactly how we would refer to fantastic episodes like "The Contest", "The Race", and "The Switch". Well, five years later, friends totally rips off the most popular TV show going by using the naming convention "The One ____" Get your own idea, you fucking hosers!
:-)
Michael
Taking a "Break", IMO, is just conditioning yourself for divorce later in life.
And "hosers!"??? What?...Have you just got back from vacation in Canada?
LOL yeah. It just seemed like the right thing to say at the time :-)
Michael
hey get Kyle and Bo on board with this league. And don't forget to sign up yourself. The draft is Saturday night at 10pm eastern/9 central. So far we've got all 3 healy's, myself, Vinnie Del Negro, and you. So tell Kyle and Bo to sign up. I sent an e-mail to Barry to so give him the heads up. And get me everyone's e-mail addresses so you don't always have to be the middle man. I'm not sure if I've got everyone's correct address. Hit me back soon man!
-Tone Loc
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mikey, as your unofficial editor, you might check this sentence:
"Does this mean you can't take some time to compliment the person you are with and your situation? As we discussed earlier, no, of course not. "
Did you mean "complement"? That sentence confused me.
And, of course, we don't even need to talk about how stupid "Taking A Break" is in real life. Only "hosers" take breaks.
That should be "contemplate". Let me tell you all this: blogger.com's spell checker is the worst I have ever seen. It is embarrasingly bad. Here's an example: "blog" is not a word in their dictionary. Yeah.
Obviously I suspect that I accidentally clicked correct on the the word and choose the wrong word. I apologize, and thank my editor.
Michael
dont you mean "chose" the wrong word, not "choose" the wrong word? HAHA!
-Tone Loc
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