Coupla Things...
* Let me settle this now: Roger Clemens used steroids. Clemens is well known as one of the most arrogant asses in all of pro sports. He's an egomaniac who has always believed he was above the law; I mean good God, this is a guy that was too good to play a full season for the most storied franchise (and most despicable, but they've still got that rep) in sports.
So here's the situation. Clemens is a free agent in 1996; he's gone 40-39 the last four seasons, and the Red Sox decide not to sign him, even going as far as to say publicly that he is in "the twilight of his career". The only team he's ever played for just let him go. You don't think he would do anything to get back at them? To prove them wrong? And think about it: remember the bat-throwing incident with Mike Piazza, where Piazza hits a ball and his bat shattered, and Clemens picked up a piece of the bat and threw it at him? Clemens had this ridiculous reason for throwing the bat at him: he was so hyped up on adrenaline, he didn't realize it was the bat instead of the ball, and fielded it.
That answer was laughably ridiculous then, because it made no sense. But it makes perfect sense now! It was Roid Rage! Adrenaline won't get you worked up like that, no, but if you shot up before the game Roid's sure as Hell will!
So fuck you Roger Clemens. You did it. Now go away and accept your shame.
* I'm going to do something I NEVER thought I'd do here: defend Jessica Simpson.
Seriously, can everybody shut the fuck up about Romo & Simpson dating?
Simpson had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Romo losing the Eagle's game. Nothing. Not one thing. I promise you, when you're a professional athlete, women are not affecting your performance during a game. Sure, you want to play better when there's a girl there that you want to impress. But you want to play BETTER, not worse. You're more focused; You're more aggressive. You're not looking at the sidelines, you're focused on what you're doing. And it's certainly not on your mind when she's in some box you can't even see!
People, the Cowboys were what, 12-1 at the time? IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO LOSE. It's damn near impossible to finish perfect in a season; that's why its so impressive the Patriots just did it (Congrats to them, btw). You know why? Because every once in a while, you have a bad day. You just do. It happens. Somedays I come to my job as a financial analyst, and I can't add 2+2. I'm good at my job, but I have off days. Same with athletes: some days you just have it going. And that's why some of the greatest teams of all time went 13-3, or 14-2, and they always have one of those, "Man, how did they lose to those guys?" as one of the losses.
Something else: Romo hurt his pinky on his throwing hand that game. Well, many fat slobs who think they are sports geniuses out there were saying, "It's just his pinky, that's a non-factor." Let me tell you something: YOU'RE FLAT FUCKING WRONG. I would argue that there is no more important finger than your pinky when throwing a football or shooting a basketball. It's the finaly stabalizer on your hand; as you release the ball, it's your chance to make that last second trajectory adjustment that seperates great players from fat slobs. A hurt pinky is a death knoll for a football or basketball player.
So there you go. The Cowboys lost because it was time for them to have a bad game, and because Romo's throwing hand was fed up. End of story. Please leave Jessica Simpson alone; for once, the girl hasn't done anything wrong.
* I still cannot get over the fact that Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for doing Environmental work. How does that even make any sense? He didn't negotiate a Peace treaty; he did environmental stuff! It's two completely different things that have nothing to do with each other! I'm good at justifying two things that seemingly have nothing in common, and not even I can back that one up! Drives me crazy. Way to ruin the credibility of the Nobel Prize, Nobel Committee, just to take a shot at George Bush.
* This has always bothered me: which stands for hugs and which stands for kisses in XOXO? I've always felt the X stands for hugs, because one's arms cross when they hug. The O stands for kisses, because your mouth (kind of) makes an O when you kiss someone. However, Wikipedia says otherwise. So which is it? In the days of text messaging, we need a definitive answer on this subject!
* I'm sorry, I must have read this wrong. I thought this said that Ron Paul accepted money from a white supremist. Surely I must have misread that.
Oh yeah, he's a SERIOUS candidate. Serious about keeping campaign contributions when he's done ;-) I'm with ya, Ronnie!
* I miss Parker. Ex-Parkerites, hollah at me!
* So about Jamie Lynn Spears, I just have one question. Not about her, her baby, her sister, or her horrible parents. It's a pretty simple question, really.
So when are we arresting her BabysDaddy?
I'm sorry, but I thought that statuatory rape was still a crime in this country--everywhere in this country. I thought that a 19 year old fucking a 16 year old qualified as statuatory rape. And it's my understanding that Mommy or Daddy don't have to file charges; if the PoPos find out about it, they are free to arrest and prosecute this dude.
So I repeat: when are we arresting her BabysDaddy?
* Dude, Troy Aikman is AWESOME.
I know what you're thinking. "Wow Michael, that's a lot of football references to a guy who doesn't like football." I know, I know. Romo (how can you not like that guy?), the fact that I actually WON A FANTASTY FOOTBALL LEAGUE (shame on all of you who lost to me; this just proves that common sense and statistical analysis will always do well), and the Sports Guy's new podcasts (how did I get through a workday without podcasts? I've only been listening for a coupla months and I still can't believe I used to work without them. Thank you, Baby Jesus, for podcasts) have brought my level of football knowledge to unprecidented highs.
But I digress. Troy Aikman is a GREAT announcer/speaker/TV guy. He makes good comments. He's not afraid to pull any punches. He never gets too excited (no shock there), but always seems earnestly interested. And--to give him the biggest backhanded compliment you can give someone--he speaks so well.
But that's seriously a shock. He was a nice guy when he was QBing the Cowboys, but he was a quiet, very private guy, who on the rare occasions he did speak mumbled half the time. He's totaly transformed himself into one of the top five announcers out there (I smell next week's top five coming!). I mean, I look forward to his show on The Ticket every week.
Good for you Troy!
* I love you Baby Emery!
* Anyone who knew me as a child knows that I LOVE Davy Crockett. He's probably my favorite real hero (real in that he was actually alive; I smell another top five list!) of all time. As such, I loved this story.
Impressive! You're not 3, so you're no Davy, but to quote (replacing the obvious) Arthur Hoggett in Babe, "That'll do kid. That'll do."
* Finally, here's my All Star ballot:
Western Conference:
F Dirk
F Timmy
C Amare
SG Kobe
PG Chris Paul
Thoughts: I still say Timmy should be a C, and Amare should be a PF, but I would vote for both anyway so it doesn't really matter. Sorry Yao, you and Amare are really close, but when you're that close the tie goes to the team records, and in that instance you aren't even close. As much as I hate Kobe, the undertalented Lakers are 23-11; he's got to be in (that sound you hear is me hitting my hand against the wall as I type this). And Chris Paul over Steve Nash? With all do respect to Little Stevie Nash, who we all know I love, but I don't even think it's close. The Hornets have only two really good players on their team (Paul & David West; no, Da Peja and Tyson Chandler don't count), and somehow the Hornets are 23-12 in the fricking West. And it's ALL because of CP3. And it's in front of a home crowd that doesn't even know that an NBA game is going on. Sorry Stevie; you're coming off the bench this year.
Eastern Conference:
F KG
F Lebron
C Dwight Howard
SG DWade
PG Chauncey
Thoughts: I might have a new "never been more wrong about the kind of season a player's going to have" than I am with Dwight Howard (thanks for breaking out this year, Dwight, and making me look like an ass. You couldn't have done this 2 years ago when you were on my fantasy league team?). Hey, I'm man enough to admit it. Good God the East sucks; I can't believe that I voted a player--no matter how good he is--to start off the worst team in the league, ESPECIALLY when he has missed significant time due to injury. Bow your head in shame, DWade. Thank David Stern again for giving you the title.
* Peace.
So here's the situation. Clemens is a free agent in 1996; he's gone 40-39 the last four seasons, and the Red Sox decide not to sign him, even going as far as to say publicly that he is in "the twilight of his career". The only team he's ever played for just let him go. You don't think he would do anything to get back at them? To prove them wrong? And think about it: remember the bat-throwing incident with Mike Piazza, where Piazza hits a ball and his bat shattered, and Clemens picked up a piece of the bat and threw it at him? Clemens had this ridiculous reason for throwing the bat at him: he was so hyped up on adrenaline, he didn't realize it was the bat instead of the ball, and fielded it.
That answer was laughably ridiculous then, because it made no sense. But it makes perfect sense now! It was Roid Rage! Adrenaline won't get you worked up like that, no, but if you shot up before the game Roid's sure as Hell will!
So fuck you Roger Clemens. You did it. Now go away and accept your shame.
* I'm going to do something I NEVER thought I'd do here: defend Jessica Simpson.
Seriously, can everybody shut the fuck up about Romo & Simpson dating?
Simpson had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Romo losing the Eagle's game. Nothing. Not one thing. I promise you, when you're a professional athlete, women are not affecting your performance during a game. Sure, you want to play better when there's a girl there that you want to impress. But you want to play BETTER, not worse. You're more focused; You're more aggressive. You're not looking at the sidelines, you're focused on what you're doing. And it's certainly not on your mind when she's in some box you can't even see!
People, the Cowboys were what, 12-1 at the time? IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO LOSE. It's damn near impossible to finish perfect in a season; that's why its so impressive the Patriots just did it (Congrats to them, btw). You know why? Because every once in a while, you have a bad day. You just do. It happens. Somedays I come to my job as a financial analyst, and I can't add 2+2. I'm good at my job, but I have off days. Same with athletes: some days you just have it going. And that's why some of the greatest teams of all time went 13-3, or 14-2, and they always have one of those, "Man, how did they lose to those guys?" as one of the losses.
Something else: Romo hurt his pinky on his throwing hand that game. Well, many fat slobs who think they are sports geniuses out there were saying, "It's just his pinky, that's a non-factor." Let me tell you something: YOU'RE FLAT FUCKING WRONG. I would argue that there is no more important finger than your pinky when throwing a football or shooting a basketball. It's the finaly stabalizer on your hand; as you release the ball, it's your chance to make that last second trajectory adjustment that seperates great players from fat slobs. A hurt pinky is a death knoll for a football or basketball player.
So there you go. The Cowboys lost because it was time for them to have a bad game, and because Romo's throwing hand was fed up. End of story. Please leave Jessica Simpson alone; for once, the girl hasn't done anything wrong.
* I still cannot get over the fact that Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for doing Environmental work. How does that even make any sense? He didn't negotiate a Peace treaty; he did environmental stuff! It's two completely different things that have nothing to do with each other! I'm good at justifying two things that seemingly have nothing in common, and not even I can back that one up! Drives me crazy. Way to ruin the credibility of the Nobel Prize, Nobel Committee, just to take a shot at George Bush.
* This has always bothered me: which stands for hugs and which stands for kisses in XOXO? I've always felt the X stands for hugs, because one's arms cross when they hug. The O stands for kisses, because your mouth (kind of) makes an O when you kiss someone. However, Wikipedia says otherwise. So which is it? In the days of text messaging, we need a definitive answer on this subject!
* I'm sorry, I must have read this wrong. I thought this said that Ron Paul accepted money from a white supremist. Surely I must have misread that.
Oh yeah, he's a SERIOUS candidate. Serious about keeping campaign contributions when he's done ;-) I'm with ya, Ronnie!
* I miss Parker. Ex-Parkerites, hollah at me!
* So about Jamie Lynn Spears, I just have one question. Not about her, her baby, her sister, or her horrible parents. It's a pretty simple question, really.
So when are we arresting her BabysDaddy?
I'm sorry, but I thought that statuatory rape was still a crime in this country--everywhere in this country. I thought that a 19 year old fucking a 16 year old qualified as statuatory rape. And it's my understanding that Mommy or Daddy don't have to file charges; if the PoPos find out about it, they are free to arrest and prosecute this dude.
So I repeat: when are we arresting her BabysDaddy?
* Dude, Troy Aikman is AWESOME.
I know what you're thinking. "Wow Michael, that's a lot of football references to a guy who doesn't like football." I know, I know. Romo (how can you not like that guy?), the fact that I actually WON A FANTASTY FOOTBALL LEAGUE (shame on all of you who lost to me; this just proves that common sense and statistical analysis will always do well), and the Sports Guy's new podcasts (how did I get through a workday without podcasts? I've only been listening for a coupla months and I still can't believe I used to work without them. Thank you, Baby Jesus, for podcasts) have brought my level of football knowledge to unprecidented highs.
But I digress. Troy Aikman is a GREAT announcer/speaker/TV guy. He makes good comments. He's not afraid to pull any punches. He never gets too excited (no shock there), but always seems earnestly interested. And--to give him the biggest backhanded compliment you can give someone--he speaks so well.
But that's seriously a shock. He was a nice guy when he was QBing the Cowboys, but he was a quiet, very private guy, who on the rare occasions he did speak mumbled half the time. He's totaly transformed himself into one of the top five announcers out there (I smell next week's top five coming!). I mean, I look forward to his show on The Ticket every week.
Good for you Troy!
* I love you Baby Emery!
* Anyone who knew me as a child knows that I LOVE Davy Crockett. He's probably my favorite real hero (real in that he was actually alive; I smell another top five list!) of all time. As such, I loved this story.
Impressive! You're not 3, so you're no Davy, but to quote (replacing the obvious) Arthur Hoggett in Babe, "That'll do kid. That'll do."
* Finally, here's my All Star ballot:
Western Conference:
F Dirk
F Timmy
C Amare
SG Kobe
PG Chris Paul
Thoughts: I still say Timmy should be a C, and Amare should be a PF, but I would vote for both anyway so it doesn't really matter. Sorry Yao, you and Amare are really close, but when you're that close the tie goes to the team records, and in that instance you aren't even close. As much as I hate Kobe, the undertalented Lakers are 23-11; he's got to be in (that sound you hear is me hitting my hand against the wall as I type this). And Chris Paul over Steve Nash? With all do respect to Little Stevie Nash, who we all know I love, but I don't even think it's close. The Hornets have only two really good players on their team (Paul & David West; no, Da Peja and Tyson Chandler don't count), and somehow the Hornets are 23-12 in the fricking West. And it's ALL because of CP3. And it's in front of a home crowd that doesn't even know that an NBA game is going on. Sorry Stevie; you're coming off the bench this year.
Eastern Conference:
F KG
F Lebron
C Dwight Howard
SG DWade
PG Chauncey
Thoughts: I might have a new "never been more wrong about the kind of season a player's going to have" than I am with Dwight Howard (thanks for breaking out this year, Dwight, and making me look like an ass. You couldn't have done this 2 years ago when you were on my fantasy league team?). Hey, I'm man enough to admit it. Good God the East sucks; I can't believe that I voted a player--no matter how good he is--to start off the worst team in the league, ESPECIALLY when he has missed significant time due to injury. Bow your head in shame, DWade. Thank David Stern again for giving you the title.
* Peace.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 9:26 PM
4 Comments:
Mikey,
I agree with you about Jessica and the Eagles game.
BUT, I have to say that Tony's Cabo Wabo trip played a role in his melt down yesterday.
I'm still struggling to understand HOW and WHY the team (Coach Phillips and Herr Jones) approved his trip. You've got a big game coming up (ITS A PLAYOFF GAME, DOESN'T GET MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT), and your QB (who flubbed the hold on a playoff game winning field goal last year) is playing hide the chimichanga with Jessica down in Cabo.
Two years in a row we've see the Boys get bounced from the playoffs as the direct result of the mental breakdown of their "field general," their leader, their quarterback.
True a lot of things led up to that defeat, like the D deciding to finally play only on NY's last two posessions. They did a helluva job holding NY and getting the ball back in the hands of their offense, giving them a chance to win the game.
BUT, You cannot take 2 sacks outside the pocket in the same drive and expect your team to win. The first sack put the Boys at 2nd (or 3rd) and 24. Romo completes a pass to Whitten for 20 yards. FIRST DOWN! Oh nevermind. Boneheaded Tony took the sack, so now they're 4 yards shy of the first down. They end up getting the first down, but then Tony does the same thing again. Gets sacked outside the pocket. For the uninformed, when a Quarterback is outside of the pocket (the pocket being defined as the area starting at the line of scrimmage and extending back into infinity, and bordered laterally by lines extending from the arses of each offensive tackle) he can throw the ball away without the possibility of getting an intentional grounding penalty called against him. 2 times Tony could have drilled the ball at some idiot on the side lines, or just threw it so far down field that nobody had a chance at catching the ball. But no, he takes the sack, screwing his team. Then the one time he needs to do something with the ball, other than throw it away....he throws it away. Hell he's standing in the same spot that he received the ball from the center in the shotgun. He doesn't like what he sees, so he throws the ball away....while he's still in the pocket. Now there is some room for interpretation here. According to the "experts" calling the game for Fox last night, NY did not have anyone pressuring the QB, therefore he was not trying to avoid the sack when he threw the ball away and there shouldn't have been an intentional grounding penalty. BUT there was a penalty called. Intentional grounding fucks you two ways: 1) Penalty Yardage (from spot of foul I believe) and 2) Loss of down.
Sooooo....
All I gotta say is, that I hope that Jessica is/was the fuck of your life Tony. Because your little side trip to Mexico directly or indirectly led to yet another early exit from the playoffs for the Cowboys. I'm laughing my ass off that he just signed a $67-70 million dollar extension.
Tony Romo didn't lose because of Jessica. It was a team effort to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I won't go into all the examples, mostly because they are numerous.
On the subject of Al Gore's personal environmetal effort. http://i-r-squared.blogspot.com/2007/02/is-al-gore-just-another-hypocrite.html
No love for Caron? Did you see the game last night against the Celtics? I'll take him over an injured Wade any day.
Totally agree with you anonymous; I would take Caron over DWade, too. Unfotunately, Caron is a forward, and I definitely would NOT take him over KG or Lebron. Thank the NBA for pigeonholing.
Excellent article on Gore.
Michael
Dude, I had been talking to my dad before the game about how deadly a buy can be. It can take you out of your game, not to mention, when you're finally back into it, your first game could be much tougher than it should be. So yeah, it was definetly idiotic to screw around a week before a huge game. What were they thinking....
Mike, how old does a girl need to be for it to not be statutory rape?
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