Coupla Things...
* First, I'm sorry. I've been swamped. Got a lot of things on my plate. I was in a rock. The dog ate my homework. I had a flat tire. The cleaners lost my tux. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
* Is there anything more uncomfortable in the world than wet socks?
* I totally agree with this guy.
This has always been a huge beef I've had with churches--all of them. I'm all for preaching abstinence. In a perfect world, yes, your first time with your husband/wife should be your first time. Do I think that happens very often? No. Will that be the case for me? No. However, in spite of the world's and my own shortcomings, I still think that's a great ideal to hold to.
However, once a couple is married, I think all bets are off as far as a church's interests in the bedroom are concerned. That is one of the great gifts of the Sacrament of Marriage is the sexual love a husband and wife share with each other, and how they express that love is entirely their business. You want to do crazy positions? No problem. Love oral? Everyone does. Anal? Whatever floats your boat. Want to get dressed up? Role play? S&M? Have at it, you kinky freaks you.
Why is it anyone's business--especially a church's--what happens between two married people? I've never seen a single passage in the Bible that even remotely hints that a church should have that power (before marriage, yes; after marriage, no, outside of Old Testament rules about when you can have sex with a menstrating woman). Yet for some reason, the vast majority of Christian churches try to tell married couples how they should be doing the deed.
Well fuck that, I say. You two crazy kids go do whatever you want. Hell, variety is the spice of life! One of the main causes for divorce is lack of fizzle in the bedroom. So go try new and exciting things as time goes on in your marriage! It can help keep you together.
So once a couple gets married, churches--like the rest of us--please go ahead and give the bride and groom some privacy. They got some bidness to attend to :-)
* Is there anything better than the Madagascar penguins? I think not.
* Is it just me, or are male gynecologists weird? Why would you choose that profession to go into when you're in med school? I just don't understand why, with all of the available options out there, a guy would decide, "You know what, I want to make SURE everyone knows how much I love pussy, so I'm going to be a gynocologist." Go ask women: almost to a woman they prefer female gynos. So why? I just don't get it.
Not on the same topic, but similar: male athletic coaches (volunteers, not professionals; that can be a case of best job available) who don't have daughters but coach girls. Why? As a single adult male who's coached kids, I can't imagine choosing to coach girls over boys. There's just going to be differences there that I A) just don't get and B) don't want to. If I had a little girl, it would be entirely different. But I must say, I'm perplexed why any guy would choose to coach girls over boys. I find it odd and a little creepy.
* Interesting piece of airline advice that is most certainly worth the read.
* Thanks to Family Guy, I now laugh internally everytime someone uses the word "duty". HEHE. "Duty".
On another related note, Seth MacFarland has officially made my "list of tools" that Mayra and I are working on. Family Guy used to be a funny show that did a great job of making fun of everyone and everything. Now it's become a mediocre show that MacFarland uses to shove his political views down our throats.
We get it. You hate Bush. He's a bad President. I think most of us agree on that now. Just drop it, and let's move on.
* There are two types of people in this world: people who use clicky-top pens, and people who use pen caps. The question is, which one are YOU?
* I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was when I saw The Monster Squad on Netflix the other day. This was a Pondrom Family favorite growing up. Just a quality monster movie for the kids, with all the bad guys involved, and all the right elements thrown in there. It even has the requisite cheesy final line of the movie that even as a 12-14 year old made me smile and groan out loud at how corny it is. If you don't think I'm going to own this movie, well, then you just don't know me.
* Here's a car note for you (speaking of, Fuck the City of Van Alstyne): explain to me why most delarships charge you an outragous sum of money (typically between $50-100) to check your computer when your "Check Engine Soon" light comes on.
So let me get this straight. I'm about to pay you an absurd amount of money to fix my car. Now you can't fix my car unless you know what's wrong with it. When the car was designed, they wisely hooked up a computer to it that will simply and easily tell you what's wrong, so you don't have to go digging around looking for what's broken.
Explain to me why I should be paying you to use this computer? What fucking sense does that make? None. If you can't figure out what's wrong with my car in the first place, then I'm not paying you an absurd amount to fix it. End of story. It's called "the cost of doing business". That would be the same as me telling my job, "yeah, so I have to use this computer to do my job...I'm going to have to add a fee ontop of my salary for having to use this." To quote Kyle quoting me: "NO! FUCK YOU!"
* For all you ESPN fans out there: God I miss Charlie Steiner. And let's not forget his fantastic contribution to the greatest ESPN commercial ever.
* Quick notes on my TV list to the right:
* And, finally, if I may, a word of advice. If ever you are going to begin a conversation and have to start it with "Don't worry; I'm not crazy", well, guess what? You're wrong. You are crazy. You should not be having this conversation. You probably shouldn't be wherever you are, nor should you be doing whatever it is you're doing at that moment. You are, in fact, scaring the person you're talking to. The very fact that you choose to begin said conversation with a refutation of the current state of your sanity is proof enough that reasonable, rationale persons would have to disagree with your personal assessment of your mental health. You're fucking crazy bitch, and think twice about whatever it is you were going to do or say, and just turn around and walk away. Save yourself the embarrassment, and save everyone else the discomfort of having to deal with your crazy ass.
So just live by this personal rule: if I'm doing or saying something that makes it necessary to state, "No I'm not crazy!", then stop whatever it is you were going to do or say, and turn around and walk away. We'll all be better off.
* Is there anything more uncomfortable in the world than wet socks?
* I totally agree with this guy.
This has always been a huge beef I've had with churches--all of them. I'm all for preaching abstinence. In a perfect world, yes, your first time with your husband/wife should be your first time. Do I think that happens very often? No. Will that be the case for me? No. However, in spite of the world's and my own shortcomings, I still think that's a great ideal to hold to.
However, once a couple is married, I think all bets are off as far as a church's interests in the bedroom are concerned. That is one of the great gifts of the Sacrament of Marriage is the sexual love a husband and wife share with each other, and how they express that love is entirely their business. You want to do crazy positions? No problem. Love oral? Everyone does. Anal? Whatever floats your boat. Want to get dressed up? Role play? S&M? Have at it, you kinky freaks you.
Why is it anyone's business--especially a church's--what happens between two married people? I've never seen a single passage in the Bible that even remotely hints that a church should have that power (before marriage, yes; after marriage, no, outside of Old Testament rules about when you can have sex with a menstrating woman). Yet for some reason, the vast majority of Christian churches try to tell married couples how they should be doing the deed.
Well fuck that, I say. You two crazy kids go do whatever you want. Hell, variety is the spice of life! One of the main causes for divorce is lack of fizzle in the bedroom. So go try new and exciting things as time goes on in your marriage! It can help keep you together.
So once a couple gets married, churches--like the rest of us--please go ahead and give the bride and groom some privacy. They got some bidness to attend to :-)
* Is there anything better than the Madagascar penguins? I think not.
* Is it just me, or are male gynecologists weird? Why would you choose that profession to go into when you're in med school? I just don't understand why, with all of the available options out there, a guy would decide, "You know what, I want to make SURE everyone knows how much I love pussy, so I'm going to be a gynocologist." Go ask women: almost to a woman they prefer female gynos. So why? I just don't get it.
Not on the same topic, but similar: male athletic coaches (volunteers, not professionals; that can be a case of best job available) who don't have daughters but coach girls. Why? As a single adult male who's coached kids, I can't imagine choosing to coach girls over boys. There's just going to be differences there that I A) just don't get and B) don't want to. If I had a little girl, it would be entirely different. But I must say, I'm perplexed why any guy would choose to coach girls over boys. I find it odd and a little creepy.
* Interesting piece of airline advice that is most certainly worth the read.
* Thanks to Family Guy, I now laugh internally everytime someone uses the word "duty". HEHE. "Duty".
On another related note, Seth MacFarland has officially made my "list of tools" that Mayra and I are working on. Family Guy used to be a funny show that did a great job of making fun of everyone and everything. Now it's become a mediocre show that MacFarland uses to shove his political views down our throats.
We get it. You hate Bush. He's a bad President. I think most of us agree on that now. Just drop it, and let's move on.
* There are two types of people in this world: people who use clicky-top pens, and people who use pen caps. The question is, which one are YOU?
* I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was when I saw The Monster Squad on Netflix the other day. This was a Pondrom Family favorite growing up. Just a quality monster movie for the kids, with all the bad guys involved, and all the right elements thrown in there. It even has the requisite cheesy final line of the movie that even as a 12-14 year old made me smile and groan out loud at how corny it is. If you don't think I'm going to own this movie, well, then you just don't know me.
* Here's a car note for you (speaking of, Fuck the City of Van Alstyne): explain to me why most delarships charge you an outragous sum of money (typically between $50-100) to check your computer when your "Check Engine Soon" light comes on.
So let me get this straight. I'm about to pay you an absurd amount of money to fix my car. Now you can't fix my car unless you know what's wrong with it. When the car was designed, they wisely hooked up a computer to it that will simply and easily tell you what's wrong, so you don't have to go digging around looking for what's broken.
Explain to me why I should be paying you to use this computer? What fucking sense does that make? None. If you can't figure out what's wrong with my car in the first place, then I'm not paying you an absurd amount to fix it. End of story. It's called "the cost of doing business". That would be the same as me telling my job, "yeah, so I have to use this computer to do my job...I'm going to have to add a fee ontop of my salary for having to use this." To quote Kyle quoting me: "NO! FUCK YOU!"
* For all you ESPN fans out there: God I miss Charlie Steiner. And let's not forget his fantastic contribution to the greatest ESPN commercial ever.
* Quick notes on my TV list to the right:
Eureka is fantastic, and got even better the second season, which has become a rareity these days. I also bought Season 1 on DVD, and I highly recommend it. There's tons of extras on there, including tons of commentary with the actors. I hate it when the commentary is just with some Junior Producer, which is usually the case. Like I give a shit what they have to say. I want to hear from the people I identify with, and that's the characters themselves. Anyhoo, it's a fantastic that you should all be watching.
HIMYM slipped just a little bit it's second season. However, it's third season has been great so far; it started exactly as it should have, and last night's episode ("Third Wheel") was a classic that stacks up against some of the best of the first season.
I was flipping through the TV on Saturday, and caught the second half of the first episode and the entire second episode of NBC's new show Life. It's about a cop who was accused of butchering a family, and was sent to prison for life. After 12 years, he was released when DNA evidence exonerated him. While being horribly beaten and raped in prison, he studied and developed a very zen attitude towards life. He's now a fantastic yet quirky detective with the LAPD, and is also investigating the murder he was accused of committing, beleiving that there was a conspiracy that framed him. It's very Count of Monte Cristoish, which is one of my favorite stories of all time. Very happy I found this show.
I'm not going to lie: I'm very disappointed thus far with Heroes. The Kensei/Hiro story is so predictable it's almost painful, and the way they've set it up if they do anything but take the predictable route, then it's just not going to make sense. The Peter storyline is so dumb I don't even want to go into all of the reasons why it sucks; it would take too long. I'm not interested in fighting Sylar again; it's time for a new bad guy, and as usual they're taking FOREVER to develop the guy that Molly (who is adorable) is so afraid of.
I'm also sick of them ripping off comic books. The Watchmen, the X-Men...I swear, before each episode airs, I think they sit down with their legal team and watch it and then say, "Okay, are we absolutely sure that we changed just enough details that Stan Lee can't sue us for stealing his characters?" The creator (Tim Kiring) loves to toss his name out there, like he's a genius for coming up with the show. Sorry dude. Standing on the shoulders of giants does not make you a giant.
This is what Heroes did last year though; just when I thought I was done with them, they'd have 1 or 2 great episodes and suck me back in. Well, it's time guys; I'm about to check out.
And last but definitely not least, Scrubs is still fantastic. Comedy Central now has Season 6, which is another outstanding season. I can't wait til October 25th when Season 7 premieres.
* And, finally, if I may, a word of advice. If ever you are going to begin a conversation and have to start it with "Don't worry; I'm not crazy", well, guess what? You're wrong. You are crazy. You should not be having this conversation. You probably shouldn't be wherever you are, nor should you be doing whatever it is you're doing at that moment. You are, in fact, scaring the person you're talking to. The very fact that you choose to begin said conversation with a refutation of the current state of your sanity is proof enough that reasonable, rationale persons would have to disagree with your personal assessment of your mental health. You're fucking crazy bitch, and think twice about whatever it is you were going to do or say, and just turn around and walk away. Save yourself the embarrassment, and save everyone else the discomfort of having to deal with your crazy ass.
So just live by this personal rule: if I'm doing or saying something that makes it necessary to state, "No I'm not crazy!", then stop whatever it is you were going to do or say, and turn around and walk away. We'll all be better off.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 10:54 PM
3 Comments:
"Kick him in the nards!"
"Wolfman don't got nards!"
"Kick him anyway!"
*kick*
"OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!! Wolfman's got NARDS!"
classic
-Tone Loc
I can't wait man...such a great flick!!! :-)
Mikey,
If your check engine light is on, take it to Auto Zone. They'll hook a scanner up and tell you what code the engine, etc is throwing. They're not supposed to do this, but some guys will go ahead and clear the code for you if you ask em.
JPV
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