Coupla Things...
* So I've come to realize that Abraham Lincoln--good old Honest Abe--was a true master of the sarcastic, backhanded cutdown. He was so good at it that I had to leave out of the top five list his famous quote to Harriet Beacher Stowe, "So you're the little lady who started this little war," which he did such a good job of hiding his sarcasm (or she was so dumb) that Stowe actually replied, "Why thank you, Mr. President". Just more of a reason to admire Abraham Lincoln, our second best president ever.
* New editions to my Greatest Heroes list: Spawn and Mario (I believe I already mentioned them once), Brock Sampson and Doctor Orpheus from the greatest show on TV right now, The Venture Brothers, Shaft, and Beorn from The Hobbit. My apologies to all of you.
* Speaking of The Venture Brothers, if you haven't seen that show, you need to. First of all, it's an outstanding spoof of Johnny Quest and several other old Hannah-Barbara cartoons. Second of all, Puddy (Patrick Warburton, but we all know him as Puddy) does the voice of Brock Sampson, and Puddy has reached the point where he's so good that if he's involved, I'm interested. And finally, there's no reason for you not to watch it, because adultswim.com has a now thing called The Fix where they show all of their episodes online. That's right. Just come here to see the latest episode, which I must say is one of the best ever. Go Team Venture!
* So Lebron resigned with Cleveland for three years. Congratulations Cleveland. I hope that you realize that the next 4 years (one year remaining on his current deal) is all you get. That's right. He is gone after that fourth year, I promise. And I don't want to hear any crap from you, either, when he leaves: You'll have had him for 7 years in his prime, while your team was close to contending for a championship. Win it in that period or forever hold your peace.
* I also enjoyed that while Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade felt confident enough about their futures to also sign shorter deals, Carmelo Anthony said, "You know what--let's be real. There's a good chance I get shot, get caught doing drugs and get kicked out of the league, or people realize that I'm really overrated and can't carry a team on my own soon, so I'm going to sign for as much money as long as I possibly can." Surprisingly, I have to admit it was a very smart, honest move on Melo's part.
* So yeah...Amelie Mauresmo, who is one of the best women's tennis players in the world, is fricking scary looking. There's really just no other way to put it. Good God man...look at her! There's not a doubt in my mind she could kick my ass, and I'm a big guy! She and Barry Bonds must have the same trainer.
* I don't know whether to be happy about this or sad about this: Congress is going to spend $150 mil a year to promote better marriages and better fathers. Of course I don't think it's a bad idea. I just worry about it being in the hands of Congress. But in the end, it's sadly something that needs to be done these days, and good for them for doing it.
* So M. Night Shyamalan's new movie Lady In The Water only grossed $38.6 million through last weekend. Can you say...retribution from the fricking horrible The Village? Yes. You can. Because really, LITW is not that bad--definitely worth seeing on video, maybe even at the theatre.
* I'll say it: I really don't see what's so bad about revenge.
* On behalf of Catholics everywhere, I would like to apologize for Mel Gibson. But seriously, don't use him as an example for the rest of us. It's like how Ben Stiller isn't the face of the Red Sox--Mel Gibson is not the face of Catholicism.
* So the latest out of Iraq is twofold: 1) That shepherds are being killed if they don't put diapers on goats, because not doing so is too sexually suggestive. 2) A vegetable shopkeeper and his 3 sons were shot to death and his store firebombed the other day, because he didn't arrange his vegetables in a manner required by some cleric, again in order to make sure that nothing sexual was being portrayed.
You fucking read that right. They are killing people now over sexually suggestive vegetable sales. And goats.
I couldn't make this up.
You can draw your on conclusions on how best to react to that information. Personally, I'd have to say I side with this guy.
* And finally, rejoice all! For we are in August, the second greatest month of the year! Why, you ask? Because December is the month conception happens most. And August is the happy result of that. :-)
* New editions to my Greatest Heroes list: Spawn and Mario (I believe I already mentioned them once), Brock Sampson and Doctor Orpheus from the greatest show on TV right now, The Venture Brothers, Shaft, and Beorn from The Hobbit. My apologies to all of you.
* Speaking of The Venture Brothers, if you haven't seen that show, you need to. First of all, it's an outstanding spoof of Johnny Quest and several other old Hannah-Barbara cartoons. Second of all, Puddy (Patrick Warburton, but we all know him as Puddy) does the voice of Brock Sampson, and Puddy has reached the point where he's so good that if he's involved, I'm interested. And finally, there's no reason for you not to watch it, because adultswim.com has a now thing called The Fix where they show all of their episodes online. That's right. Just come here to see the latest episode, which I must say is one of the best ever. Go Team Venture!
* So Lebron resigned with Cleveland for three years. Congratulations Cleveland. I hope that you realize that the next 4 years (one year remaining on his current deal) is all you get. That's right. He is gone after that fourth year, I promise. And I don't want to hear any crap from you, either, when he leaves: You'll have had him for 7 years in his prime, while your team was close to contending for a championship. Win it in that period or forever hold your peace.
* I also enjoyed that while Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade felt confident enough about their futures to also sign shorter deals, Carmelo Anthony said, "You know what--let's be real. There's a good chance I get shot, get caught doing drugs and get kicked out of the league, or people realize that I'm really overrated and can't carry a team on my own soon, so I'm going to sign for as much money as long as I possibly can." Surprisingly, I have to admit it was a very smart, honest move on Melo's part.
* So yeah...Amelie Mauresmo, who is one of the best women's tennis players in the world, is fricking scary looking. There's really just no other way to put it. Good God man...look at her! There's not a doubt in my mind she could kick my ass, and I'm a big guy! She and Barry Bonds must have the same trainer.
* I don't know whether to be happy about this or sad about this: Congress is going to spend $150 mil a year to promote better marriages and better fathers. Of course I don't think it's a bad idea. I just worry about it being in the hands of Congress. But in the end, it's sadly something that needs to be done these days, and good for them for doing it.
* So M. Night Shyamalan's new movie Lady In The Water only grossed $38.6 million through last weekend. Can you say...retribution from the fricking horrible The Village? Yes. You can. Because really, LITW is not that bad--definitely worth seeing on video, maybe even at the theatre.
* I'll say it: I really don't see what's so bad about revenge.
* On behalf of Catholics everywhere, I would like to apologize for Mel Gibson. But seriously, don't use him as an example for the rest of us. It's like how Ben Stiller isn't the face of the Red Sox--Mel Gibson is not the face of Catholicism.
* So the latest out of Iraq is twofold: 1) That shepherds are being killed if they don't put diapers on goats, because not doing so is too sexually suggestive. 2) A vegetable shopkeeper and his 3 sons were shot to death and his store firebombed the other day, because he didn't arrange his vegetables in a manner required by some cleric, again in order to make sure that nothing sexual was being portrayed.
You fucking read that right. They are killing people now over sexually suggestive vegetable sales. And goats.
I couldn't make this up.
You can draw your on conclusions on how best to react to that information. Personally, I'd have to say I side with this guy.
* And finally, rejoice all! For we are in August, the second greatest month of the year! Why, you ask? Because December is the month conception happens most. And August is the happy result of that. :-)
posted by Michael Pondrom at 9:03 PM
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