Athletes as Actors
Before we begin, I have my first complaint about blogger.com. For some reason it's not publishing my changes to the blog. Hence the Description of "Testing" for about a week. Very frustrating. I'm trying to talk to them and work through it to figure out what is going on here. So I'm trying, my faithful readers.
While visiting friends in Wichita two weeks ago, the Mayor's nephew asked me which athletes gave the best performance on the silver screen. He also warned me that Shaq better not appear on said list. "Actually, he wasn't bad in Blue Chips..." was my response.
But I did my research, and thought long and hard about it, and have come up with this list of the GREATEST ATHLETES AS ACTORS.
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator 2: Judgement Day: Really, any list that doesn't begin with this should not be considered. The youngest ever Mr. Universe launched his illustrious career with The Terminator, and that took it to another level in one of the greatest films ever (year, I said it) in Terminator 2. There's a reason he's an icon.
2. Andre the Giant, The Princess Bride: Perhaps the most loveable and heartwarming performance by any athlete ever. Hell, perhaps the most loveable and heartwarming performance by any actor ever. Of all the great characters to cheer for from that movie (and BTW, does anyone find it ironic that Robin Penn--probably the least appealing character in that movie--ended up having arguably the most successful career of anyone from that movie? Okay, I'm just babbling now), Fezzik is probably the one that everyone loves the most. What can I say? We love our gentle giants.
3. Ray Allen, He Got Game: Maybe the best dramatic acting an athlete has ever done. True, he was asked to play himself and his life growing up (Ray wasn't that popular in high school, but it wasn't that much of a stretch), but it was still an outstanding performance. To be honest, I am surprised we haven't seen Ray Allen in more roles.
4. The Rock, Saturday Night Live: This was the performance that started The Rock's Hollywood career. If you haven't seen this and ever get the chance to, jump on it. His performance as Superman makes me, to this day, believe he should have been the next Superman; if you don't think "Please--call me Dwayne" will be one of the quotes this week, you're crazy (well, if we get to see any quotes this week); and the Nicotrel commercial was one of the best commercials ever.
5. Carl Weathers, Anything: Where to begin? As Apollo Creed in Rocky? As Hampton Forbes in In The Heat of the Night? As Dillon in Predator? As Chubbs in Happy Gilmore? This former Oakland Raider is truly a master. As you can see, we could do a top five list of Carl Weathers' performances.
6. Vinnie Jones, Anything: You know, I'd put Vinnie Jones on the list just to show the picture on the left. Jones--obviously a Premier League player in England--did that in a game against a Newcastle United player. He also holds a record for being the fastest player ever to get a yellow card in a game (3 seconds). Seriously. I couldn't make this up. I wonder if Adam Sandler has to pay him royalties for Happy Gilmore. I don't think there is any amount of money you could pay me to play soccer with Vinnie Jones.
What a fantastic actor though. Big Chris in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Sphinx in Gone in 60 Seconds (we now know where he gets one of his fight moves when he's fighting Master P's goons), Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch, Mad Maynard in Eurotrip, Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand. The man is a bad ass.
7. Steve Carlson, Jeff Carlson, Dave Hanson, Slapshot: The Hanson Brothers. I didn't know these three guys were really hockey players; I was excited when I found that out, as I could now include them in this list. The Hanson Brothers might be the funniest brother combination in the history of movies. Ever. If you haven't seen Slapshot, go see it, and just for them. The rest of the movie sucks. THEY are the movie.
8. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Airplane: Also earns points for being an impressive part of Game of Death. I actually think Airplane is a little overrated--it's funny, but it's not one of the greatest comedies ever, which many people think it is. However, it is a really funny movie, and Kareem did have one of the best parts in the flick.
9. O.J. Simpson, The Naked Gun Series: Is it creepy to say anything positive about O.J. now? Yes. But the fact remains that he was hilarious as Nordberg. There. I said it. Now let's move on.
10. Alex Karras, Blazing Saddles: I have a confession to make here: I've never seen this movie. I know, I know. I need to. I want to. Just have never gotten around to it. Most lists I saw had Karras ranked much higher; since I haven't seen the movie, I have to put him at ten. Once I see the movie, I'm guessing he might go higher. I will say this: any man who punches out a horse gets a thumbs up in my book.
While visiting friends in Wichita two weeks ago, the Mayor's nephew asked me which athletes gave the best performance on the silver screen. He also warned me that Shaq better not appear on said list. "Actually, he wasn't bad in Blue Chips..." was my response.
But I did my research, and thought long and hard about it, and have come up with this list of the GREATEST ATHLETES AS ACTORS.
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator 2: Judgement Day: Really, any list that doesn't begin with this should not be considered. The youngest ever Mr. Universe launched his illustrious career with The Terminator, and that took it to another level in one of the greatest films ever (year, I said it) in Terminator 2. There's a reason he's an icon.
2. Andre the Giant, The Princess Bride: Perhaps the most loveable and heartwarming performance by any athlete ever. Hell, perhaps the most loveable and heartwarming performance by any actor ever. Of all the great characters to cheer for from that movie (and BTW, does anyone find it ironic that Robin Penn--probably the least appealing character in that movie--ended up having arguably the most successful career of anyone from that movie? Okay, I'm just babbling now), Fezzik is probably the one that everyone loves the most. What can I say? We love our gentle giants.
3. Ray Allen, He Got Game: Maybe the best dramatic acting an athlete has ever done. True, he was asked to play himself and his life growing up (Ray wasn't that popular in high school, but it wasn't that much of a stretch), but it was still an outstanding performance. To be honest, I am surprised we haven't seen Ray Allen in more roles.
4. The Rock, Saturday Night Live: This was the performance that started The Rock's Hollywood career. If you haven't seen this and ever get the chance to, jump on it. His performance as Superman makes me, to this day, believe he should have been the next Superman; if you don't think "Please--call me Dwayne" will be one of the quotes this week, you're crazy (well, if we get to see any quotes this week); and the Nicotrel commercial was one of the best commercials ever.
5. Carl Weathers, Anything: Where to begin? As Apollo Creed in Rocky? As Hampton Forbes in In The Heat of the Night? As Dillon in Predator? As Chubbs in Happy Gilmore? This former Oakland Raider is truly a master. As you can see, we could do a top five list of Carl Weathers' performances.
6. Vinnie Jones, Anything: You know, I'd put Vinnie Jones on the list just to show the picture on the left. Jones--obviously a Premier League player in England--did that in a game against a Newcastle United player. He also holds a record for being the fastest player ever to get a yellow card in a game (3 seconds). Seriously. I couldn't make this up. I wonder if Adam Sandler has to pay him royalties for Happy Gilmore. I don't think there is any amount of money you could pay me to play soccer with Vinnie Jones.
What a fantastic actor though. Big Chris in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Sphinx in Gone in 60 Seconds (we now know where he gets one of his fight moves when he's fighting Master P's goons), Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch, Mad Maynard in Eurotrip, Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand. The man is a bad ass.
7. Steve Carlson, Jeff Carlson, Dave Hanson, Slapshot: The Hanson Brothers. I didn't know these three guys were really hockey players; I was excited when I found that out, as I could now include them in this list. The Hanson Brothers might be the funniest brother combination in the history of movies. Ever. If you haven't seen Slapshot, go see it, and just for them. The rest of the movie sucks. THEY are the movie.
8. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Airplane: Also earns points for being an impressive part of Game of Death. I actually think Airplane is a little overrated--it's funny, but it's not one of the greatest comedies ever, which many people think it is. However, it is a really funny movie, and Kareem did have one of the best parts in the flick.
9. O.J. Simpson, The Naked Gun Series: Is it creepy to say anything positive about O.J. now? Yes. But the fact remains that he was hilarious as Nordberg. There. I said it. Now let's move on.
10. Alex Karras, Blazing Saddles: I have a confession to make here: I've never seen this movie. I know, I know. I need to. I want to. Just have never gotten around to it. Most lists I saw had Karras ranked much higher; since I haven't seen the movie, I have to put him at ten. Once I see the movie, I'm guessing he might go higher. I will say this: any man who punches out a horse gets a thumbs up in my book.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 9:42 PM
4 Comments:
Most lists you saw had Alex Karras higher? Most lists you saw? You mean you're checking out other lists? You're using performance enhancers?!?! SCAM!!! SCAM!!! SCAM!!!
-Tone-Loc
Okay... I have to admit that I did not know Vinnie Jones was an athlete, or that Carl Weathers played for the Raiders...
You should also note Carl Weathers' fabulous performances on Arrested Development, playing himself.
mjm
LOL...Yes, I checked other lists, to make sure I wasn't forgetting about anyone. The mind starts to go once you get older T. I'm glad I did, because as weird as this sounds, I wasn't even thinking about Arnold originally. I just think of Arnold as an Actor first, and sometimes forget to think about him as an Athlete.
Oh yes. In fact, I've heard that Carl Weathers was also Mr. Universe at one time, though I could not confirm this after some dilligent research so I don't think it is really true.
Never seen Arrested Development, so I cannot comment on his performance there.
Michael
lol... being an old man myself I suppose I can agree with the necessity there.
-Tone Loc
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