2006 NBA Awards!

I'm back, and even though typing with one hand makes me want to shoot myself, I can stay silent no longer! I've missed you all, and I've missed writing, and it's great to talk to you again.

Now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, let's get this party started...

Defensive Player of the Year: Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz
I don't know how you can not vote for him if you've ever seen him play, which I had the pleasure of doing last Friday. He will guard ANYONE on the court. It's amazing. I've never seen a team rotate as much as the Jazz do, and it's because they know Kirilenko can stick anyone on the court, from the PG to the center. I'm telling you, if the Jazz could ever stay healthy for a whole season, they would be incredible. Consider Ben Wallace considered, but this is Andrei's.

Sixth Man of the Year: Jerry Stackhouse, Your Dallas Mavericks!
NARROWLY beats out Mike Miller in a very ho-hum category this year. Yes the Grizz have overachieved, but to me the question isn't why is Mike Miller the 6th man, but why isn't he starting? That team isn't talented enough for him to not be starting. Ben Gordon is in a similar situation--he's such an ass and a ball hog that his coach won't start him. I can't reward him for that. Stackhouse, on the other hand, has been the savvy veteran bench slasher/scorer that brought some much needed toughness and attitude to the third best team in the league. Another ho-hum category.

Rookie of the Year: Chris Paul, Hornets
Another ho-hum award, on the fact that Paul won it so easily. I honestly agree with the popular writer's sentiment that anyone who doesn't vote for Paul should have their priveledges revoked.

Most Improved Player: David West, Hornets
This one was unbelievably hard this year. First of all, let's consider these men considered: Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Nenad Krstic, and Paul Pierce. Good job guys, our thoughts dwelled on you momentarily. Next, DeSagana Diop can consider himself seriously considered, as in, "Man in most year's you'd be a shoe in candidate, it's just unfortunate that this year it was so stacked." Sorry DeSagana--but great job, and enjoy yourself in your first playoffs.

The real debate is between Boris Diaw & David West. I won't bother giving stats because both had incredible seasons, and vastly improved on their previous seasons. The reason I went with West over Diaw (and I literally went home and slept on it before I reached my decision) is that West's team is so much worse. What talent is there on the Hornets? CP3, of course. But who else? Chris Anderson was their third best player, and he was coked up for half the season! P.J. Brown plays the entire game for them, and he's like 800 years old! Speedy Claxton played so much for them that he is a 6th Man Candidate! Whereas Diaw had Steve Nash (reigning MVP), Shawn Marion (the most underrated player in the history of the NBA), Kurt Thomas, and Raja Bell. Much better supporting cast. However...this was an incredibly close call, and congrats to them both.

Coach of the Year: Avery Johnson, Your Dallas Mavericks!
Another tough category. I consider there only three real candidates: Mike D'Antoni, Flip Saunders, and Avery. All are very deserving. However, D'Antoni doesn't get it because I don't think Phoenix is quite as good as everyone thinks (they are a DISTANT third, and only beat Memphis for the 3rd best record by 5 games), and the fact that even without Amare they had such a good core in tact (see above). Flip--who I love--doesn't win it because I think the Pistons coach themselves. That's what makes the Pistons so great: they are a group of true professionals who put the team first, have been together for so long they know each other perfectly, and go bust their asses every night. That's why the Larry Brown era was ending: he wasn't treating them with the respect they deserved. He was riding them like a bunch of kids, and they didn't need that, and they didn't appreciate that. Flip comes in, looks at the group, makes a couple of minor changes along the lines of suggestions, and let's his guys play, which is EXACTLY what he needed to do. Is he a genius and a great coach for realizing that's all he needed to do? Absolutely. But that means he didn't have to "coach" as much, and when the competition is this close, you will probably lose.

Which is what he did. Avery took over a team that was used to playing a particular style of basketball that was lazy and ineffective. He took over a team that had lost key pieces and added new ones that no one knew if they would fit or not. He took over a team that lacked(s) a true leader. And what did he do? Lead them to the best record over 82 games ever for a new coach. He led them to the third best record in the league. He transformed the team to where they finally look like a legitimate playoff contender/championship threat, and not just a regular season flash in the pan. I tend to think coaches are overrated. It's the players, not the coaches. But make no mistake: the Mavs success is not because of Dirk being an MVP candidate, but because of Avery being COY. Congrats Avery.

MVP: Lebron James, Cavaliers
We'll do a quick top 5 in reverse order:

5. Dirk Nowitzki, Your Dallas Mavericks: Only star on the league's third best team. However, as I said earlier, Avery was the key to the Mavs success, not Dirk.

4. Steve Nash, Suns: Fantastic season, great job leading the Suns to a surprising record. But Shawn Marion does not get the credit he deserves for helping to make this team great.

3. Kobe Bryant, Lakers: God I hate him. A great statistical season, and good job leading your team to the playoffs. But you know what I'll hold against him when it comes to MVP voting? The Shaq debacle. Here's why: an MVP should make your team better, not worse. His getting rid of Shaq changed the Lakers from a championship contender every year to a playoff contender. That is not making your team better. I saw a quote last night from Koab about how "my critics said I couldn't lead a team to the playoffs, and I used that as motivation." You still don't get it asshole. You're supposed to lead a team to a CHAMPIONSHIP. Not the playoffs. You don't lower the franchise's value and expectations just so you can fulfill your own selfish ego needs. Until Shaq is no longer a dominant presence in the league, or until the Lakers compete for a championship, Kobe cannot be MVP.

The Kobe, the.

2. Dwayne Wade, Heat. People forget that the Heat were on pace to finish in the middle of the pack in the East until the Heat were playing the Pistons midseason, were down by 13 midway through the 4th, and Wade decided "fuck this, I'm not losing anymore" and scored 17 straight to win the game. It was incredible. It was Michael-esque. And the Heat officially became Dwayne Wade's team that day. You see, up to that point, most people--including the Heat--thought it was Shaq's team, and that the Heat couldn't beat the elite teams in the league without Shaq. That day the Heat realized, "Wait, any time DWade is on the court, we can beat anybody." And they're right.

DWade is my second favorite player in the league right now, behind KG--and it's becoming so sad to watch KG that D might pass him. He has KG's fire and love for the game. It doesn't matter if it's the Skills Competition of All Star Weekend or Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, DWade NEVER wants to lose--and can and will take his game to incredible heights to get his team there. Congrats on a fantastic season.

1. Lebron James, Cavaliers. Narrowly beats out DWade, and really for one reason: his team was only 2 games worse than the Heat, and his team was far inferior to Wade's. Let's compare each team's two best players:

1. Lebron James. 1. Dwayne Wade
2. Zydrunas Ilgauskas 2. Shaq

Yeah. I'd rather have Shaq, too. In this, his third season, Lebron lived up to all of the lofty expectations that were set for him when he came into the league. And that's why he is the MVP.

As always, some of my own awards:

The Antoine Walker Memorial Most Overrated Player: Peja Stojakavic, Pacers
The Peja went to the Pacers and brought them nothing. Absolutely nothing. And he should have fit in well there with a long post presence as good as Jermaine O'Neal. Antoine Walker also received consideration for this award for almost ruining Miami.

The Shawn Marion Memorial Most Underrated Player: Shawn Marion, Suns
I am constantly at a loss about this. When you listen to people talk about the Sun's surprising season, you hear Eddie House mentioned more than him. HELLOOOO!!!! Just because he always averages 20-10, is one of the best defensive players in the league, and can play any position doesn't mean he's not a fucking factor. God!

The Player I Want To See Traded Most: Kevin Garnett, Timberwolves
You know, normally I don't buy into the "the team owes it to player x to trade him to a contender" argument. But this is one of the situations where I do agree with that. KG has given his heart and soul to this franchise for too long, always playing hard, changing them from league laughingstock to a quality team, never complaining when the franchise made stupid move after stupid move. So please. Trade him. He deserves better than your incompetence.

And if you trade him to the Knicks, I just might have to drive up to Minnesota and hurt Glen Taylor and Kevin McHale.

Best Charles Barkely Comment of the Year
His ongoing ripping of the Mavs. It became a bit for him to say the Mavs weren't an elite team, just to fuck with Cuban and the Mavs fans. It was hilarious, and I enjoyed it--almost as much as I enjoy listening to Charles talk about the importance of playing D since he never bothered to even try on D when he was in the league.

Player I Can't Wait To See Play Next Year: Larry Hughes, Cavaliers
Their big offseason acquisition was injured most of the year. I cannot WAIT to see how great this Cavs team can be with him their all year.

The Shawn Bradley Memorial Player I'd Most Like To See Hit by a Mack Truck: Ron Artest, Kings
Tough competition this year. However, Artest pulls it out by totally ruining the franchise that stood behind his completely insane and overrated ass for years. If they hadn't stolen Danny Granger in the draft, I'd say that the Pacers are done for the next few years. They've still got a chance though.

And finally...

My Favorite "Just Desserts" Winner: Larry Brown, Knicks
For years I've been saying he is one of the worst human beings alive, and is totally overrated as a coach. Finally, this year, as he intentionally sabotaged the team he begged to go to just to win a petty power struggle with the worst GM in the league, he proved me correct--while ruining his reputation in the process.

Thank you Larry. Thank you.

And remember kids...the NBA...it's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC!!!