Sex Ed
The state of Kansas just passed a law that says all parents must sign a letter before students can be taught sex ed. After reading that, I thought, "Man...how have we not touched on this subject yet?"
Well it's time to fix that oversight.
As I see it, there are two main groups in this debate:
The Hoez: "Kids need to know something about sex, we need Sex Ed in schools."
The Three Monkeys: You know: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil. I could also call this group The Ostritches because they stick their heads in the sand when frightened. "Sex is bad, and kids should know nothing about it until they are married, and even then they pretty much have to figure it out by themselves."
Of course, there's a lot of sub groups in there: those who drag abortion into the issue, contraception, abstinence, etc. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to leave all of those issues alone and just focus on teaching the basics of sex ed in schools.
While both of my group names are insulting, I mean that to be humorous, not to really insult either of you. As is always the case in any debate, neither is extreme is right: The Truth--as always--lies somewhere in the middle. I totally understand and agree with the people who believe that the government shouldn't have to teach about sex. That's a parent's job. Any good parents should sit their kids down, let them know exactly what is going on with their bodies, what sex is, and what are the consequences of having sex. In a Perfect World, that's what would happen: all parents would be responsible, fully educate and teach their kids to be knowledgeable and responsible about their bodies, and encourage their children to follow their individual values about when, where, and how to have sex. Well, maybe not how: that's kind of gross. But whatever works for you.
However, I don't think it's shocking news to people that we don't live in a Perfect World. We live in the real world, and in the real world, there are far too many people who aren't responsible. There are far too many people who don't educate their kids, or educate their kids in a way that even all the religions will agree is wrong (ie the Welfare Queen, "Have as many kids as you can, the government will pay for it!").
When I went to college in Oklahoma, I was astounded at the number of women I met whose parents had told them nothing about sex ed. I met a scary number of women who were totally unprepared for their first period! Mom never sat down and explained to them that this was coming! These were intellignent, outgoing women from different social, racial, and economic backgrounds: it wasn't one particular group. It was scary the ignorance that so many of these girls had faced, and in some cases were continuing to face.
I've always believed that it is better to be well informed on a topic than not. I don't buy into the argument that educating kids about sex encourages them to have sex. That's nonsense. Sex is hard wired into every single animal; it's one of our basest instincts--to reproduce. It's what puberty is. So once kids hit puberty, they are going to be biologically driven to reproduce. It's up to us as a society--parents hopefully, or the culture you exist in if your parents are not up to the task--to teach kids what is going on in their bodies, and how to deal with those urges.
Sex ed is a necessary part of any society, and it is needed more than most people think. Most people probably think that the state with the largest percentage of teen pregnancies is a state with a city that has a large urban population--Illinois, New York, California, Texas. You would be wrong. The teen preganacy capital of the US is Oklahoma. Enid won the teen pregnancy city title several times in the 90s. Why did this happen here? Ignorance is probably the largest reason. It's the Bible belt, and too many parents didn't talk to their kids about sex. So little Sue and Johnny went off and had sex because that's what they're driven biologically to do. Great job guys. Ignorance worked there. Maybe if they'd at least known what a condom was and how to use it, things would have turned out differently.
So I don't have a problem with schools teaching sex ed. I think it should be the basics, and not delve into the controversial topics that don't really apply--abortion, etc. I think they should preach abstinence but let kids know what a condom is and how to use it. And most of all, I think the kids should be bored to tears in the class, BECAUSE MOM AND DAD SHOULD HAVE COVERED THIS ALREADY.
My parents taught my brothers and I about sex. They preached abstinence, but taught us about condoms as well. And you know what? I didn't have sex in high school. I don't have any kids. And I'm disease free. I went through sex ed in school. It didn't traumatize me, and it didn't encourage me to have sex.
Knowledge is power people. In our media driven culture that is obsessed with sex, there's no way to hide your kids from the topic. So for God's sake, please let them be well informed. And please let the schools teach about, both in case you missed something, and for those who don't have parents who are as responsible as you.
Good luck kids.
Well it's time to fix that oversight.
As I see it, there are two main groups in this debate:
The Hoez: "Kids need to know something about sex, we need Sex Ed in schools."
The Three Monkeys: You know: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil. I could also call this group The Ostritches because they stick their heads in the sand when frightened. "Sex is bad, and kids should know nothing about it until they are married, and even then they pretty much have to figure it out by themselves."
Of course, there's a lot of sub groups in there: those who drag abortion into the issue, contraception, abstinence, etc. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to leave all of those issues alone and just focus on teaching the basics of sex ed in schools.
While both of my group names are insulting, I mean that to be humorous, not to really insult either of you. As is always the case in any debate, neither is extreme is right: The Truth--as always--lies somewhere in the middle. I totally understand and agree with the people who believe that the government shouldn't have to teach about sex. That's a parent's job. Any good parents should sit their kids down, let them know exactly what is going on with their bodies, what sex is, and what are the consequences of having sex. In a Perfect World, that's what would happen: all parents would be responsible, fully educate and teach their kids to be knowledgeable and responsible about their bodies, and encourage their children to follow their individual values about when, where, and how to have sex. Well, maybe not how: that's kind of gross. But whatever works for you.
However, I don't think it's shocking news to people that we don't live in a Perfect World. We live in the real world, and in the real world, there are far too many people who aren't responsible. There are far too many people who don't educate their kids, or educate their kids in a way that even all the religions will agree is wrong (ie the Welfare Queen, "Have as many kids as you can, the government will pay for it!").
When I went to college in Oklahoma, I was astounded at the number of women I met whose parents had told them nothing about sex ed. I met a scary number of women who were totally unprepared for their first period! Mom never sat down and explained to them that this was coming! These were intellignent, outgoing women from different social, racial, and economic backgrounds: it wasn't one particular group. It was scary the ignorance that so many of these girls had faced, and in some cases were continuing to face.
I've always believed that it is better to be well informed on a topic than not. I don't buy into the argument that educating kids about sex encourages them to have sex. That's nonsense. Sex is hard wired into every single animal; it's one of our basest instincts--to reproduce. It's what puberty is. So once kids hit puberty, they are going to be biologically driven to reproduce. It's up to us as a society--parents hopefully, or the culture you exist in if your parents are not up to the task--to teach kids what is going on in their bodies, and how to deal with those urges.
Sex ed is a necessary part of any society, and it is needed more than most people think. Most people probably think that the state with the largest percentage of teen pregnancies is a state with a city that has a large urban population--Illinois, New York, California, Texas. You would be wrong. The teen preganacy capital of the US is Oklahoma. Enid won the teen pregnancy city title several times in the 90s. Why did this happen here? Ignorance is probably the largest reason. It's the Bible belt, and too many parents didn't talk to their kids about sex. So little Sue and Johnny went off and had sex because that's what they're driven biologically to do. Great job guys. Ignorance worked there. Maybe if they'd at least known what a condom was and how to use it, things would have turned out differently.
So I don't have a problem with schools teaching sex ed. I think it should be the basics, and not delve into the controversial topics that don't really apply--abortion, etc. I think they should preach abstinence but let kids know what a condom is and how to use it. And most of all, I think the kids should be bored to tears in the class, BECAUSE MOM AND DAD SHOULD HAVE COVERED THIS ALREADY.
My parents taught my brothers and I about sex. They preached abstinence, but taught us about condoms as well. And you know what? I didn't have sex in high school. I don't have any kids. And I'm disease free. I went through sex ed in school. It didn't traumatize me, and it didn't encourage me to have sex.
Knowledge is power people. In our media driven culture that is obsessed with sex, there's no way to hide your kids from the topic. So for God's sake, please let them be well informed. And please let the schools teach about, both in case you missed something, and for those who don't have parents who are as responsible as you.
Good luck kids.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 10:43 PM
4 Comments:
OUCH! someone get some neosporin for that cut!
Tone-Loc
That was indeed a good one. It's okay...all that matters is that I was able to talk Linda into bed as an adult.
;-)
Michael
Absolutely, PJ, knowledge is power. The stats show that kids who’re in True Love Waits (not that I knock it but the stats are the stats) & similar programs, though they may slightly delay sex compared to peers, they are no more likely to wait until marriage. More importantly, they are much less likely to use protection. Why? Lack of information (though admittedly there are other complcating factors here that I won't go into)! The data shows that the only thing that increases kids’ use of protection (without increasing %age of sexually active kids I’ll add and in many cases lowering this %age) is comprehensive sex ed.—yup that means you have to at the very least tell them how to use a condom in addition to basic knowledge of how sex works & all its potential results. You guys wouldn’t believe how many young people think withdrawal is a form of birth control or that you can’t get pregnant if you do it in water. Scary, scary. And people wonder why teen pregnancy rates—not to mention HIV & other STD’s among young people—are so high. Hmmm... Personally speaking, I didn’t have sex as a kid because A)my parents had talked to me about it (nice slam on PJ BTW Linda!) and B)my parents knew enough to know it didn’t hurt to know the whole story just in case. Pregnancy and other possibilities were more than I cared to risk & most kids are the same way when and if they actually have a clue. Even if one's kids never has sex until their wedding night, kids who don't know about sex grow up to be adults who don't know about sex--& married folks need to have a clue too or the problem is just perpetuated one ignorant generation after the next. It’s simple science & kids need to know it—that’s my 2 cents folks.
-Robin
Ok, now that I see how long I yammered on, I'll admit maybe it was more like 10 cents. It's a big deal to me. :)
-R.
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