Eurotrip, Part 3B: Once More Into The Trenches, Dear Friends.
10:00am, Saturday, May 28th. I wake up without a hangover. How, do you ask? I honestly don't know. After some deliberation, I think two things saved me: 1) I purchased a liter of water that evening, and was partaking of that throughout the night. 2) Since it's hot over there, I was sweating enough that liquid was leaving me as it was coming in. Gross, yes, but possibly true. Anyway, I don't know why, because Sam and Jared drank less than me (okay, Sam drank less than me) and were both hung over.
We get moving, and grab a bratwurst and another liter of water at this convenience store across the street from us that had both for $3. We'd picked up a lovely young lady named Katie, who was there from Austin, and together we all went to check out the Deutsche Museum.
Now to get there, we had to take The Underground, or Munich's subway. The Underground is on the honor system. I swear to God. Sam saw a sign that explained that if city officials felt like people weren't buying tickets like they were supposed to, they'd start policing it and charge the SHIT out of people. I guess it's working, who knows. Anyway, the Underground was ridiculously clean. I mean, I seriously couldn't believe it. This is a subway! It's not supposed to be this nice. Props to those efficient, anal Germans.
Now, it's at this point that I should say something about the German people: so far they've been incredibly laid back, polite, and helpful. Everyone. I felt kind of bad for thinking this, but I kept thinking, "Man, how did these guys ever get so worked up as to become the Nazis?" I was seriously confused. So props to the Germans...but more on this later.
Anyway, we take the Underground (which isn't quite as well organized as the Metro, which surprised me, but was still great) to the Deutsche Museum. Basically, it's a huge Museum all about Engineering. Airplanes, rockets, ships, motors, cars, bridges, if it can be in some way classified as Engineering, they've got it here. Very cool. The stuff on bridges was really awesome, they even had a model suspension bridge for you to walk around on.
We then went to the World's largest cuckoo clock, but we got our times wrong and it wasn't going off yet. So, let's grab some lunch.
2:00pm. We go to the Waldwirtschaft, which is located by the Hofbräuhaus. We heard the food was better here. And it is AWESOME. I got this plate that had 6 different kinds of sausages on it. They also had pretzels on the table as the appetizer, like we serve bread here. You had spicy mustard and some kind of sweet and sour sauce that you could use for everything. It was OUTSTANDING.
After that we checked out the Hofbräuhaus, but didn't grab a brew there. We figured we'd be back later.
We were wrong.
Now at this point, it's hot, and I want a cold drink. Right across the street from the Waldwirtschaft is a Burger King and a McDonalds. Well, Burger King has the new Star Wars cups! So I head there to get a coke. Now this is funny, because this is the only time I had trouble with language in Germany. I go up to the nice young girl, and order a coke. "Large Coke, " I say. Should be fairly universal, right? Nope. Not a clue. But shit, it's Burger King. The cups are right there behind her! The Coke machine is right there behind her! I start pointing. She's still not getting it. I'm laughing inside, thinking to myself, "You know, I could just walk around the counter and pour it myself." I was really tempted to do that, but then she figured out that I wanted the biggest mother fucking Coca-Cola that they had in the joint.
I left with my Coke, and then went home to take a nap.
5:00pm. We go back and see the world's largest cuckoooo clock. It's built into the front of a huge Gothic church. I'm impressed with it, but Sam and Jared are not. I guess if it doesn't have digital graphics with dolby surround sound, it's not worth seeing to them. Oh well. We do a little bit of shopping (Jared needs board shorts), and head back to the Wombat, or more specifically, the Wombar. :-)
6:00pm. We head down to Happy Hour, and make a couple of great new friends from the Great White North: Chris, whose luggage was lost by the airlines (so we bought him several beers), and Anna, who was traveling by herself and had just arrived that day (we bought her several beers, too).
Originally, we had planned to meet The Aussie at the Hofbräuhaus, but then we found out that they closed at 11, on top of being on the other side of town. F that. So we went back to The Augustiner instead. Man I fricking love that place. The biggest regret of my entire trip is that I didn't get a stein from the Augustiner. I just didn't have room for it in my bag, and I was afraid of it breaking. God they were cool though.
We had a couple of brews at the big A, and started heading back to the Hostel. Now, on the way over, we passed a five star hotel with a really cool bar that had a patio on the street. They had a TON of liquor on the walls, and I realized two things: 1) it's fricking hot outside, and warm beer may do it for the Germans, but I could use a cold drink, and 2) I haven't had the good Captain in like 9 or 10 days.
In we went. It's Sam, me, Sarah (cool Aussie), Katie (Austin girl), and Anna (the pride of Canada). We order a round. Then we get a round of shots. Then Sam and I get another drink. Now at this point I should point out that the bartender--who was very cool--said that we didn't need to pay as we go, that he'd bring us the bill at the end.
I was not so inebriated that I didn't realize that this bill could easily be scary big. I think Sam could see the fear in my eyes, because he whispered that he'd help me out with whatever I needed. It was right after that that they brought the bill.
$40.
And they brought us some free fruity drink for everyone! To say I was happy was the understatement of the year. This quickly became my favorite place. And it was awesome guys. Beautiful interior, nice leather seats, and the bathroom was so cool we actually took pictures of it with Katie's camera (we're trying to get her to email the pics to us). Someday I will go back to Munich, and I will stay in that hotel. After I win the lottery.
One more funny story from the hotel: There were two INCREDIBLY beautiful blondes sitting in the booth next to us. A little older--late 20's probably. Sam's at the bar, and one gets up to get a drink, and the other goes to the restroom. Sam and the girl chat while they get their drinks, and then each comes back to their table when they have them. Sam sits next to me and whispers, "Dude. They're married!" I'm thinking that the girl made a pass at Sam and he's freaked out because she was married and was doing that. I say something to that affect. "No! You don't understand! They're married to each other!"
So finally, after all these years, I can honestly say that I've seen a hot lesbian (for those who don't know, I've always said that the legend of the hot lesbian is simply a myth).
We head back, and call it a night.
10:00am, Sunday, May 29th. Up and at em. Once again, we go get bratwurstrst and water, and today we're heading to the Olympic Park area. We take the Underground over, and will see the BMW museum first, as it is right next to Olympic Park.
11:30am. We get to the BMW museum, and let me just say this: the BMW headquarters is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen in my entire life. It was incredible. Just staring at the building made you want to go out and buy a Beamer. The museum itself is being rebuilt; it will be ready in 2007. The pictures we saw of the new museum also looked incredible. Lots of cool cars, etc. I brought up Kyle's complaints about the 5 and 7 series, but fortunately no one had me arrested. There are tons of pictures, and I highly suggest you check them out.
1:00am. We strolled into Olympic Park, which yes is where the 72 Olympics were held. It was beautiful. You couldn't have asked for a better day. We climbed to the top of a hill that wasn't that high, but seemed like the highest hill in Germany--you could see FOREVER from the top of that hill. Again, several pics of the city are from there. We just spent the afternoon walking around, checking out the Olympic pools and the soccer stadium (and you think our football stadiums are big), and just enjoying the sun.
I also got to play basketball. That's right. In Europe. With Germans. Thoughts on hooping with the Germans:
* Germans love Allen Iverson. I'd say he's the second most popular NBA player after Dirk. Unfortunately for them, we all know that Allen's game is probably the WORST to model your own game after. It's funny to see all these Aryans trying to pull Iverson crossovers and stuff. Thank God they weren't trying to grow cornrolls--yet.
* The Germans taller than 6'0" all model their games after Dirk. I mean, EXACTLY model the games like him. Bend their ankles funny when they shoot, move in that slow, deliberate pace that Dirk moves at, shoot their jumpers WAY too much. The problem is, Dirk can do that cause he's 7', has the handles of someone 6', and has one of the best jumpers in the world. My advice to Germans 6'0" and taller is the same advice Azeem (Morgan Freeman) gave Robin (Kevin Costner) in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: "Get up. Move faster."
* They all play with the International 3pt line--even at the park. I believe that's 22'0. The American 3pt line up through college and at every park is 19'9. Good for those Germans.
It was a lot of fun. They're good guys, don't talk a lot of trash, just go out and play hard. They showboated a little much, but honestly, I think part of that was cause I was there. They wanted to look cool in front of the American who could dunk.
6:00pm. We've headed back, showered, and a big group of us go grab dinner at the Italian restaurant across the street. It's at this point that I will give a shot out to our Italian brethren. Seriously, this was some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. And the guys who ran that place--obviously real Italians--were awesome. So many stereotypes: the accent, the way they hit on every women, how laid back they were, everything. We loved them, and they liked us, too. Sam and Jared ate there so many times I can't believe they can ever eat pizza again. But trust me, it was great.
This night was out last night together. Most of our friends were on one of those bus tours of Europe together, and that was leaving first thing in the morning. Sam, Jared, and I were checking out in the morning, and leaving tomorrow night. There was a really cool Atrium/almost a greenhouse kind of thing in front of the Wombar, so we went, stole some couches from the lobby of the Wombat, and set them up there, and just hung out talking the rest of the night. Good times. I miss you guys!!!!
8:00am, Monday, May 30th. I get up early to say goodbye to our friends leaving: Anna leaves early to go meet family elsewhere in Germany; Sarah, The Aussie, and a lot of others leave on the bus tour I believe for Italy, Chris leave for God only knows where (he had his luggage back at this point, thank God).
10:00am. We pack up our crap, and check out of the Wombat. Goodbye, dear friend. Our roommates--the brothers from Tennessee--also check out, and we had to the Pinotech. Basically, these are four museums that house all of the stuff that the Nazis stole from around the world during World War II. Yeah, that's right. They haven't given it back yet. How does this work? Everyone in the world knows they have it! It's all right there, on display in a fricking museum! How have these priceless works or art, science, and culture not been returned to their rightful owners? I'm so confused.
Well, shit. It's closed on Monday. Glad we walked out here for nothing. Oh well, let's head to the English Gardens.
12:00pm. We arrive at the English Gardens, which is a large park located in the center of Munich. There's a river running through the park, and at one spot it is set up so that there are actually enough waves in the river that people can surf there. It is now that we finish my "How did these nice people become the Nazi's?" story.
So we're watching the surfers, and there's a guy kayaking too. The surfers go out one at a time, cause the river is not too wide. Well, some guy shows up to surf, gets in his wet suit, and walks up to the kayaker, and smacks him in the back of the head! Then they start SCREAMING at each other in German. Of course, we have no fricking clue what is going on; we can't understand a word they're saying. Eventually, the surfer flips the kayaker into the river (they were waiting for their turn to go on the shore)! It was really weird. And it was so fast! Everyone's just having a blast, enjoying a nice day, and out of nowhere two guys are ready to kill each other, and then it's just back to surfing.
After that, we wandered into the English Gardens and walked through the "Nude Beach". There is no beach, of course, but people will sunbathe on the banks of the river. You know all those jokes you see in movies about how nude beaches in Europe are only full of nasty old men?
Yeah, those aren't jokes. Right on.
Not that we weren't expecting that to be the case. It's just worth mentioning. I was impressed because we did see one hot topless girl; I considered that a victory. Anyway, we just strolled around the English Gardens for a while, enjoyed the day.
4:00pm. Caught a final dinner at Waldwirtschaft, which was excellent as usual. We met a priest there who spoke very bad English, but was VERY excited about the new Pope. We were in Benedict's old diocese. Anyway, at this point we went to the train station and said goodbye to out Tennessee brothers. I'm sure we did something else in there, but I don't remember what. We were exhausted, were too tired to go do a whole lot, and was just killing time until it was time for the trains to leave.
8:00pm. I'm at the train station, ready to board my 9:00pm train. I say goodbye to Sam and Jared, and thank them for inviting me to go with them. It's been a wonderful time. They're train for Italy leaves about 5 minutes after mine. I tell them I love them both, and turn to board my train to return to Paris, and then to return home the day after that.
But don't worry, my good friends. The adventure is still not over.
Not by a long shot.
Coming soon: Part 4: Trains, riots, beautiful women, airplanes: I become an action hero.
We get moving, and grab a bratwurst and another liter of water at this convenience store across the street from us that had both for $3. We'd picked up a lovely young lady named Katie, who was there from Austin, and together we all went to check out the Deutsche Museum.
Now to get there, we had to take The Underground, or Munich's subway. The Underground is on the honor system. I swear to God. Sam saw a sign that explained that if city officials felt like people weren't buying tickets like they were supposed to, they'd start policing it and charge the SHIT out of people. I guess it's working, who knows. Anyway, the Underground was ridiculously clean. I mean, I seriously couldn't believe it. This is a subway! It's not supposed to be this nice. Props to those efficient, anal Germans.
Now, it's at this point that I should say something about the German people: so far they've been incredibly laid back, polite, and helpful. Everyone. I felt kind of bad for thinking this, but I kept thinking, "Man, how did these guys ever get so worked up as to become the Nazis?" I was seriously confused. So props to the Germans...but more on this later.
Anyway, we take the Underground (which isn't quite as well organized as the Metro, which surprised me, but was still great) to the Deutsche Museum. Basically, it's a huge Museum all about Engineering. Airplanes, rockets, ships, motors, cars, bridges, if it can be in some way classified as Engineering, they've got it here. Very cool. The stuff on bridges was really awesome, they even had a model suspension bridge for you to walk around on.
We then went to the World's largest cuckoo clock, but we got our times wrong and it wasn't going off yet. So, let's grab some lunch.
2:00pm. We go to the Waldwirtschaft, which is located by the Hofbräuhaus. We heard the food was better here. And it is AWESOME. I got this plate that had 6 different kinds of sausages on it. They also had pretzels on the table as the appetizer, like we serve bread here. You had spicy mustard and some kind of sweet and sour sauce that you could use for everything. It was OUTSTANDING.
After that we checked out the Hofbräuhaus, but didn't grab a brew there. We figured we'd be back later.
We were wrong.
Now at this point, it's hot, and I want a cold drink. Right across the street from the Waldwirtschaft is a Burger King and a McDonalds. Well, Burger King has the new Star Wars cups! So I head there to get a coke. Now this is funny, because this is the only time I had trouble with language in Germany. I go up to the nice young girl, and order a coke. "Large Coke, " I say. Should be fairly universal, right? Nope. Not a clue. But shit, it's Burger King. The cups are right there behind her! The Coke machine is right there behind her! I start pointing. She's still not getting it. I'm laughing inside, thinking to myself, "You know, I could just walk around the counter and pour it myself." I was really tempted to do that, but then she figured out that I wanted the biggest mother fucking Coca-Cola that they had in the joint.
I left with my Coke, and then went home to take a nap.
5:00pm. We go back and see the world's largest cuckoooo clock. It's built into the front of a huge Gothic church. I'm impressed with it, but Sam and Jared are not. I guess if it doesn't have digital graphics with dolby surround sound, it's not worth seeing to them. Oh well. We do a little bit of shopping (Jared needs board shorts), and head back to the Wombat, or more specifically, the Wombar. :-)
6:00pm. We head down to Happy Hour, and make a couple of great new friends from the Great White North: Chris, whose luggage was lost by the airlines (so we bought him several beers), and Anna, who was traveling by herself and had just arrived that day (we bought her several beers, too).
Originally, we had planned to meet The Aussie at the Hofbräuhaus, but then we found out that they closed at 11, on top of being on the other side of town. F that. So we went back to The Augustiner instead. Man I fricking love that place. The biggest regret of my entire trip is that I didn't get a stein from the Augustiner. I just didn't have room for it in my bag, and I was afraid of it breaking. God they were cool though.
We had a couple of brews at the big A, and started heading back to the Hostel. Now, on the way over, we passed a five star hotel with a really cool bar that had a patio on the street. They had a TON of liquor on the walls, and I realized two things: 1) it's fricking hot outside, and warm beer may do it for the Germans, but I could use a cold drink, and 2) I haven't had the good Captain in like 9 or 10 days.
In we went. It's Sam, me, Sarah (cool Aussie), Katie (Austin girl), and Anna (the pride of Canada). We order a round. Then we get a round of shots. Then Sam and I get another drink. Now at this point I should point out that the bartender--who was very cool--said that we didn't need to pay as we go, that he'd bring us the bill at the end.
I was not so inebriated that I didn't realize that this bill could easily be scary big. I think Sam could see the fear in my eyes, because he whispered that he'd help me out with whatever I needed. It was right after that that they brought the bill.
$40.
And they brought us some free fruity drink for everyone! To say I was happy was the understatement of the year. This quickly became my favorite place. And it was awesome guys. Beautiful interior, nice leather seats, and the bathroom was so cool we actually took pictures of it with Katie's camera (we're trying to get her to email the pics to us). Someday I will go back to Munich, and I will stay in that hotel. After I win the lottery.
One more funny story from the hotel: There were two INCREDIBLY beautiful blondes sitting in the booth next to us. A little older--late 20's probably. Sam's at the bar, and one gets up to get a drink, and the other goes to the restroom. Sam and the girl chat while they get their drinks, and then each comes back to their table when they have them. Sam sits next to me and whispers, "Dude. They're married!" I'm thinking that the girl made a pass at Sam and he's freaked out because she was married and was doing that. I say something to that affect. "No! You don't understand! They're married to each other!"
So finally, after all these years, I can honestly say that I've seen a hot lesbian (for those who don't know, I've always said that the legend of the hot lesbian is simply a myth).
We head back, and call it a night.
10:00am, Sunday, May 29th. Up and at em. Once again, we go get bratwurstrst and water, and today we're heading to the Olympic Park area. We take the Underground over, and will see the BMW museum first, as it is right next to Olympic Park.
11:30am. We get to the BMW museum, and let me just say this: the BMW headquarters is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen in my entire life. It was incredible. Just staring at the building made you want to go out and buy a Beamer. The museum itself is being rebuilt; it will be ready in 2007. The pictures we saw of the new museum also looked incredible. Lots of cool cars, etc. I brought up Kyle's complaints about the 5 and 7 series, but fortunately no one had me arrested. There are tons of pictures, and I highly suggest you check them out.
1:00am. We strolled into Olympic Park, which yes is where the 72 Olympics were held. It was beautiful. You couldn't have asked for a better day. We climbed to the top of a hill that wasn't that high, but seemed like the highest hill in Germany--you could see FOREVER from the top of that hill. Again, several pics of the city are from there. We just spent the afternoon walking around, checking out the Olympic pools and the soccer stadium (and you think our football stadiums are big), and just enjoying the sun.
I also got to play basketball. That's right. In Europe. With Germans. Thoughts on hooping with the Germans:
* Germans love Allen Iverson. I'd say he's the second most popular NBA player after Dirk. Unfortunately for them, we all know that Allen's game is probably the WORST to model your own game after. It's funny to see all these Aryans trying to pull Iverson crossovers and stuff. Thank God they weren't trying to grow cornrolls--yet.
* The Germans taller than 6'0" all model their games after Dirk. I mean, EXACTLY model the games like him. Bend their ankles funny when they shoot, move in that slow, deliberate pace that Dirk moves at, shoot their jumpers WAY too much. The problem is, Dirk can do that cause he's 7', has the handles of someone 6', and has one of the best jumpers in the world. My advice to Germans 6'0" and taller is the same advice Azeem (Morgan Freeman) gave Robin (Kevin Costner) in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: "Get up. Move faster."
* They all play with the International 3pt line--even at the park. I believe that's 22'0. The American 3pt line up through college and at every park is 19'9. Good for those Germans.
It was a lot of fun. They're good guys, don't talk a lot of trash, just go out and play hard. They showboated a little much, but honestly, I think part of that was cause I was there. They wanted to look cool in front of the American who could dunk.
6:00pm. We've headed back, showered, and a big group of us go grab dinner at the Italian restaurant across the street. It's at this point that I will give a shot out to our Italian brethren. Seriously, this was some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. And the guys who ran that place--obviously real Italians--were awesome. So many stereotypes: the accent, the way they hit on every women, how laid back they were, everything. We loved them, and they liked us, too. Sam and Jared ate there so many times I can't believe they can ever eat pizza again. But trust me, it was great.
This night was out last night together. Most of our friends were on one of those bus tours of Europe together, and that was leaving first thing in the morning. Sam, Jared, and I were checking out in the morning, and leaving tomorrow night. There was a really cool Atrium/almost a greenhouse kind of thing in front of the Wombar, so we went, stole some couches from the lobby of the Wombat, and set them up there, and just hung out talking the rest of the night. Good times. I miss you guys!!!!
8:00am, Monday, May 30th. I get up early to say goodbye to our friends leaving: Anna leaves early to go meet family elsewhere in Germany; Sarah, The Aussie, and a lot of others leave on the bus tour I believe for Italy, Chris leave for God only knows where (he had his luggage back at this point, thank God).
10:00am. We pack up our crap, and check out of the Wombat. Goodbye, dear friend. Our roommates--the brothers from Tennessee--also check out, and we had to the Pinotech. Basically, these are four museums that house all of the stuff that the Nazis stole from around the world during World War II. Yeah, that's right. They haven't given it back yet. How does this work? Everyone in the world knows they have it! It's all right there, on display in a fricking museum! How have these priceless works or art, science, and culture not been returned to their rightful owners? I'm so confused.
Well, shit. It's closed on Monday. Glad we walked out here for nothing. Oh well, let's head to the English Gardens.
12:00pm. We arrive at the English Gardens, which is a large park located in the center of Munich. There's a river running through the park, and at one spot it is set up so that there are actually enough waves in the river that people can surf there. It is now that we finish my "How did these nice people become the Nazi's?" story.
So we're watching the surfers, and there's a guy kayaking too. The surfers go out one at a time, cause the river is not too wide. Well, some guy shows up to surf, gets in his wet suit, and walks up to the kayaker, and smacks him in the back of the head! Then they start SCREAMING at each other in German. Of course, we have no fricking clue what is going on; we can't understand a word they're saying. Eventually, the surfer flips the kayaker into the river (they were waiting for their turn to go on the shore)! It was really weird. And it was so fast! Everyone's just having a blast, enjoying a nice day, and out of nowhere two guys are ready to kill each other, and then it's just back to surfing.
After that, we wandered into the English Gardens and walked through the "Nude Beach". There is no beach, of course, but people will sunbathe on the banks of the river. You know all those jokes you see in movies about how nude beaches in Europe are only full of nasty old men?
Yeah, those aren't jokes. Right on.
Not that we weren't expecting that to be the case. It's just worth mentioning. I was impressed because we did see one hot topless girl; I considered that a victory. Anyway, we just strolled around the English Gardens for a while, enjoyed the day.
4:00pm. Caught a final dinner at Waldwirtschaft, which was excellent as usual. We met a priest there who spoke very bad English, but was VERY excited about the new Pope. We were in Benedict's old diocese. Anyway, at this point we went to the train station and said goodbye to out Tennessee brothers. I'm sure we did something else in there, but I don't remember what. We were exhausted, were too tired to go do a whole lot, and was just killing time until it was time for the trains to leave.
8:00pm. I'm at the train station, ready to board my 9:00pm train. I say goodbye to Sam and Jared, and thank them for inviting me to go with them. It's been a wonderful time. They're train for Italy leaves about 5 minutes after mine. I tell them I love them both, and turn to board my train to return to Paris, and then to return home the day after that.
But don't worry, my good friends. The adventure is still not over.
Not by a long shot.
Coming soon: Part 4: Trains, riots, beautiful women, airplanes: I become an action hero.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 6:31 PM
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