Review: Ocean's 12
As those of you who pay attention to my T5 lists might remember, Ocean's 11 is my second favorite movie of all time. So, when I heard that Ocean's 12--the much anticipated sequel--was coming out, to say that I was excited would be an understatement. I couldn't wait for this movie to get there. Well, last night I went to the theatre and paid full price to see it, as the theatre by me no longer does student ticket pricing (son of a...).
I'd give the movie a C-. I was pretty disappointed. Now, I had lowered my expectations for this movie. There was NO WAY it could be as good as the first one, and so I made sure I didn't expect it to be. I also had heard from some friends who saw it over the weekend, and said that they were disappointed in it, so I lowered my expectations a little more so that hopefully I would not be disappointed.
I won't tell you any of the plot--it's still worth seeing, especially on video. It was just...zany. Ocean's 11 was great because it was funny, clever, and SMOOTH. This movie tries a little too hard to be funny, and it tries WAY to hard to be clever. The problem with sequels of clever movies is they try to outclever the first one, and instead end up just whirling you around, leaving out details, making total unrealistic and unimpressive plot jumps and/or conclusions, and leave you just wanting them to end the nonsense and quit being so smug. Oceans 11 was smooth; 12 was jerky. Also, the seamless meshing of the characters--so hard with such an all star cast--that made the first movie so impressive was not there. It was subtle, but I could hear the director saying to each character, "Okay now it's your turn to be on!" instead of just going out and telling the story and working everyone in. Finally, a well known star made a cameo in the movie that was disastrous (and I love this star). I could just see him telling one of his buddies, "Hey man, you need to get me in this one!", and then they preceded to dream up some half-cocked scheme to get him in in the middle of production.
It wasn't all bad. There were still some pretty funny moments; I mean, with this cast, you're going to have great acting and some good comedy from them. I thought Matt Damon was hilarious a couple of times. Catherine Zeta Jones was INCREDIBLY beautiful in this movie. Oh my God. She SKYROCKETED up the list after this movie. She has always been similar to Cameron Diaz to me: both were incredibly beautiful in their first hit movies (The Mask for Diaz, The Mask of Zorro for Jones), and then for whatever reason (eating disorder for Diaz, just looking weird in her movies for Jones) really dropped on the appearance scale. She gets her hair cut short in this movie (excellent idea), however, and doesn't overdue it with her makeup, and just looks fantastic. Seeing her in this alone is worth renting the movie.
Oh, and a small spoiler here, but a side note I feel is worth mentioning: if I ever do anything that causes someone to seek revenge against me, and you decide you're going to confront me at my wedding, you had better fucking kill me, because I'll kill a motherfucker who walks into my wedding and embarrasses me in front of my bride/family/whoever. Without question.
So anyway, a little disapointed in Ocean's 12. It's no Blade II (the worst sequel ever, probably), but it definitely doesn't crack the best sequel's list, which I'll probably do next week. Of course, tell me what you think about the movie in the comments.
Take care everybody! Merry Christmas.
I'd give the movie a C-. I was pretty disappointed. Now, I had lowered my expectations for this movie. There was NO WAY it could be as good as the first one, and so I made sure I didn't expect it to be. I also had heard from some friends who saw it over the weekend, and said that they were disappointed in it, so I lowered my expectations a little more so that hopefully I would not be disappointed.
I won't tell you any of the plot--it's still worth seeing, especially on video. It was just...zany. Ocean's 11 was great because it was funny, clever, and SMOOTH. This movie tries a little too hard to be funny, and it tries WAY to hard to be clever. The problem with sequels of clever movies is they try to outclever the first one, and instead end up just whirling you around, leaving out details, making total unrealistic and unimpressive plot jumps and/or conclusions, and leave you just wanting them to end the nonsense and quit being so smug. Oceans 11 was smooth; 12 was jerky. Also, the seamless meshing of the characters--so hard with such an all star cast--that made the first movie so impressive was not there. It was subtle, but I could hear the director saying to each character, "Okay now it's your turn to be on!" instead of just going out and telling the story and working everyone in. Finally, a well known star made a cameo in the movie that was disastrous (and I love this star). I could just see him telling one of his buddies, "Hey man, you need to get me in this one!", and then they preceded to dream up some half-cocked scheme to get him in in the middle of production.
It wasn't all bad. There were still some pretty funny moments; I mean, with this cast, you're going to have great acting and some good comedy from them. I thought Matt Damon was hilarious a couple of times. Catherine Zeta Jones was INCREDIBLY beautiful in this movie. Oh my God. She SKYROCKETED up the list after this movie. She has always been similar to Cameron Diaz to me: both were incredibly beautiful in their first hit movies (The Mask for Diaz, The Mask of Zorro for Jones), and then for whatever reason (eating disorder for Diaz, just looking weird in her movies for Jones) really dropped on the appearance scale. She gets her hair cut short in this movie (excellent idea), however, and doesn't overdue it with her makeup, and just looks fantastic. Seeing her in this alone is worth renting the movie.
Oh, and a small spoiler here, but a side note I feel is worth mentioning: if I ever do anything that causes someone to seek revenge against me, and you decide you're going to confront me at my wedding, you had better fucking kill me, because I'll kill a motherfucker who walks into my wedding and embarrasses me in front of my bride/family/whoever. Without question.
So anyway, a little disapointed in Ocean's 12. It's no Blade II (the worst sequel ever, probably), but it definitely doesn't crack the best sequel's list, which I'll probably do next week. Of course, tell me what you think about the movie in the comments.
Take care everybody! Merry Christmas.
posted by Michael Pondrom at 8:36 AM
11 Comments:
Screw you Barry. Reloaded is one of the greatest movies ever.
NICE TRY! She wasn't in Titanic you hoser! She was in a TV version of Titanic. Yes, I knew she was in The Phantom, hence my statement:
both were incredibly beautiful in their first HIT movies
The Phantom--while a decent movie--was not a huge hit, nor did she gain any fame from it. The Mask Of Zorro is what put her on the map. And no, she looked three times as good in Zorro as she did in The Phantom, though she didn't look bad in The Phantom.
Just setting the record straight.
Michael
Just wanted to set the record straight on a couple things.... Catherine Zeta-Jones was HOT in Hi-Fidelity, which came out after Zorro. So she had at least 1 appearance that rivaled the hotness of the first. Which puts her a step above Cameron Diaz, who I've never really liked. 2nd... Barry, we all know you're in love with Miss Swanson. Please note that her name is Kristy and not Christy. I also have to agree with Mike that Reloaded was friggin sweet. It's the THIRD one that sucked balls. Mike I'd be interested to hear your review of Blade Trinity. I give it a C. As for Ocean's 12, I totally agree with your thoughts on the movie. It all seemed too forced. and I thought the ending was a cop out. The end of Ocean's 11 was BRILLIANT. I too, lowered my expectations for Ocean's 12 and it STILL fell short of what I was hoping for. Another point I agree on... the Cameo. One of my favorite actors. Didn't he seem like a total loser in this movie? Like totally feminine. It hurt my head just to watch him put himself through that. All that said... it was a decent movie. I thought it was a better sequel than Blade II, and The Bourne Supremacy. Brad Pitt continues to be one of my favorite comedic actors. In Ocean's 11, 12, and in The Mexican he shows a side of his acting that I wish we could see more of. Matt Damon was hilarious in parts, Don Cheadle was great... They just didn't mesh as well as they did in the first, the ending was a cop out, and there were too many things that just didn't seem realistic. To have the investigative skills that Catherine Zeta-Jones had in this movie she would have to be Jesus. It just didn't work. And we all know from the previews that this whole movie takes place because Andy Garcia's character demands his money back. How bout they just whack him? I mean Seriously. I owe some guy $190 million... that guy's gonna disappear. But anyway, It's a good movie to watch just to see the good points. Overall, I agree with Mike. I give it a C-
Tone-Loc
Tone and Barry,
I agree with both of you. You guys rock. Tone High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies of all time. I thought she looked okay in it...maybe good, but not great.
Tone have seen Blade yet; I'll see it over Christmas so I can go with my brothers. But yes I will write a review on it.
Kristi Swanson is greatness.
And Tone...LOVED what you said about whacking the guys. I said that to Kyle several times in the movie. Like I said, I would have fucking killed him if he walked into my wedding like that. Right then and there. I would have also killed the Frenchman. They're at his house talking to him, as he tells them he is risking their lives for his game! He would have died right then, and then I would have said, "Guess you won't be stealing it now, will you, bitch?"
Michael
I think the problem with Ocean's 12 is that it wasn't really Ocean's 12. They took a pre-existing script that had elements of thievery, and adapted it to fit the cast of Ocean's 12.
I thought the cameo was fine, I'm sure that's exactly what he's like in real life. The odds of running into him on the same day, at the same time, in the same country, at the exact same place was a little much though.
And as far as offing Mr. Garcia, I wondered that also. But it does seem to be beneath Ocean's crew to kill someone. Stealing insured items and killing someone aren't even in the same league. And also, remember that several crew members have been in jail for robbery before and been released. It's not quite as easy to get out for murder.
That aside, the movie still sucked. Half the time I was going.. huh? what? And not in a Mission Impossible kind of way. They just didn't do a great job with the script.
Thanks...who posted that?
Michael
Barry you're so right. Pitch Black = Awesome, Chronicles of Riddick = CRAP! It was so bad I wanted to shoot myself in the head. I didn't even finish it. Couldn't stand it after an hour.
Mike - Hi Fidelity.. not the whole movie, but the scene where she's in the Pretenders shirt she is WAY hot.
Tone-Loc
Yay for the new record!!!!! Tone and Barry and Anonymous person, you all rock ever so hard!
This one doesn't count towards the record.
Michael
Anonymous is none other than Vinny Del Negro!
Nick
The Crow sequal and MK2 are the worst ever!
-vinh
YAY!!!! VINNY IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!
Michael
I think knowing that CZJ is married to Michael Douglas just ruins it. That's why Zorro will be her best movie.
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